


Pubescent children lead by one Responsible Adult

by Lilbug



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, F/F, F/M, M/M, a group chat thing for losers, all the while everyone else is texting about it, because shes an asshole, lexa dies and becomes a badass ghost, raven blows things up, shes still there and fucks with people
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-04-02
Updated: 2019-02-21
Packaged: 2019-04-17 03:05:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 36
Words: 35,177
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14179158
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lilbug/pseuds/Lilbug
Summary: bellamy creates a group chat, just to keep in touch with his "good ole' buddy pals".it's hell





	1. (1) Welcome to the HELL CHAT OF DEATH

**Author's Note:**

> okay i said i'd stop making stories but it's a group chat guys come on  
> (For reference:  
> HistoryNerd: Bellamy  
> roadside shit: Murphy  
> i like candles: Lexa  
> i also like candles: Clarke  
> IceBitch: Echo  
> Iceass: Roan  
> Literal Harp: Harper  
> water bottle kicker: Octavia  
> mechanical dicks: Raven  
> drugdealer Jazzy: Jasper  
> notadrugdealer: Monty  
> SaveTheTrees: Lincoln  
> Depends: Nathan  
> wannabe emo: Emori  
> MountainSeas: Maya)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> literally just them doing shit  
> like plotting to rob a bank

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okay so i'm probably gonna update this everyday? i dunno i think this'll be a bit easier to do c:

**HistoryNerd created, "Hell and Death"!**

**HistoryNerd invited:** _roadside_ _shit, i like candles, i also like candles, IceBitch, Iceass, water bottle kicker, mechanical dicks, drugdealer Jazzy, notadrugdealer_ _, SaveTheTrees, Depends, wannabe emo, and MountainSeas!_

 

 **HistoryNerd:** Okay I think that's everyone.

 **water bottle kicker:** were back, BITCHES!!

 **HistoryNerd:** Octavia I just made this

 **water bottle kicker:** shut the fuck up bell 

 **roadside shit:** oh great raven's in here

 **mechanical dicks:** damn right i am 

 **notadrugdealer** **:** jasper where's the cat

 **drugdealer Jazzy:** what cat

 **MountainSeas:** Did Jasper already lose Masper?

 **notadrugdealer** : probably 

 **Depends:** bellamy you lied to me

 **HistoryNerd:** Oh?

 **Depends** : you said it'd be quiet in here

 **Depends:** and that

 **Depends** : you know what you did

 **HistoryNerd** : Do I, Miller? Do I really?

 **Depends** : you fucking know you asshole

 **roadside shit** : cool drama

 **mechanical dicks** : you shouldn't get a kick out of this murhpy

 **roadside shit** : the fuck is a murhpy 

 **mechanical dicks** : shut the fuck up i am working like a responsible adult

 **SaveTheTrees** : Raven is currently in my backyard, throwing plastic balls at the birds. 

 **mechanical dicks** : lincoln i thought i could trust u

 **mechanical dicks** : this is a betrayal 

 **water bottle kicker** : what the fuck why is raven here

 **water bottle kicker** : GET THE FUCK DOWN FEOM THE BIRD BATH 

 **Iceass** : this is why i live on the other side of town.

 **IceBitch** : this is why we both live there 

 **mechanical dicks** : come at me bitch

 **SaveTheTrees** : Raven get the fuck off my bird bath.

 **mechanical dicks** : make me BITCH

 **SaveTheTrees** : Raven.

 **SaveTheTrees** : Get the fuck down. 

  **HistoryNerd** : So that's where the 3,783 plastic balls went. 

 **roadside shit** : i spent 76 cents on those you cuck i want them back

 **i also like candles** : guys slow it the fuck down

 **i also like candles** : lexa has a fucking headache u assholes

 **HistoryNerd** : So that's where the 3,783 plastic balls went. 

 **roadside shit** : i spent 76 cents on those you cuck i want them back

 **i also like candles** : guys stfu

 **i also like candles** : lexa has a fucking headache 

 **roadside shit** : make me

 **i also like candles** : bitch

 **Literal Harp** : dude murphy no

 **Literal Harp** : you wanna say that in front of lincoln??

 **roadside shit** : well i mean no

 **Literal Harp:** then don't

 **HistoryNerd** : I'm surprised Lincoln hasn't killed you yet.

 **SaveTheTrees** : Don't have time chasing raven out of my fuckin buird bath

 **water bottle kicker** : okay we caught her

 **water bottle kicker** : she is fast as fuck tho with that brace 

 **water bottle kicker** : no match for lincoln tho

 **SaveTheTrees** : She's currently locked up in our bathroom.

 **mechanical dicks** : u guys are all fuckin assholes 

 **wannabe emo** : oh hello john

 **roadside shit** : BELLAMRT YOU SAID NO

 **HistoryNerd** : Have fun, Murphy. 

 **roadside shit** : BEALMKARY WAHT DO YOU WANT I CAN DO IT PLAEASE NONE OFTHIS 

 **HistoryNerd:** Clean my house.

 **roadside shit** : GOR IT AM GOING OVER TIGHT NIW

 **water bottle kicker** : holy shit bell what did u do to him???

 **HistoryNerd** : Don't worry about it. 

 **wannabe emo** : what the hell was that?

 **HistoryNerd** : Don't worry about it.

 **i like candles** : hofuck i snuck away from clarke

 **i like candles** : i love her but jesus fuckin chrsit it's just a headache 

 **i also like candles** : hi lexa

 **i like candles** : how the fuck did you

 **i also like candles** : free wifi. checkmate motherfucker

 **i like candles** : clarkey pls no

 **i also like candles** : don't call me clarkey

 **i also like candles:** lexy. 

 **HistoryNerd** : Clarke, where are you?

 **i also like candles** : library 

 **i also like candles** : school shit

 **HistoryNerd** : On second though, Murphy, we're going to the library

 **roadside shit** : fuck no

 **HistoryNerd** : It's literally just a library. 

 **roadside shit** : you dont understand 

 **SaveTheTrees** : Octavia and I can go.

 **water bottle kicker** : fuck off lincoln no

 **mechanical dicks** : wait what the fuck happens to me if you both go

 **SaveTheTrees** : Give us the plastic balls and we'll let you come with. 

 **mechanical dicks** : you'll never get my balls alive

 **notadrugdealer** : oml raven no 

 **drugdealer Jazzy** : raven no 

 **MountainSeas** : Honestly, after spending a good year with you guys? 

 **MountainSeas** : Raven definitely has 3,783 balls 

 **i like candles** : jesus christ maya

 **i also like candles** : i mean is she wrong tho

 **notadrugdealer** : she isn't wrong that's for sure

 **roadside shit** : yeah whatever raven

 **roadside shit** : how much help did u get from ur balls when lincoln locked u in the bathroom

 **mechanical dicks** : you've seen nothing yet

 **water bottle kicker** : fucking hell i heard a splash

 **SaveTheTrees** : We're gonna make sure Raven isn't drowning with her 3,783 balls. 

 **mechanical dicks** : bitch u wanna fuckin bet i'm not drowning with all my balls

 **mechanical dicks** : do you both really wanna fuckin check me??

 **SaveTheTrees** : How much do you all like Raven here?

 **roadside shit** : 0/10

 **HistoryNerd** : 6/10; Good at scaring Murphy into doing things.

 **i like candles** : 7/10

 **i also like candles** : 5/10

 **water bottle kicker** : currently 2/10

 **wannabe emo** : eh 4/10

 **notadrugdealer** : 6/10

 **drugdealer Jazzy** : 4/10 she has graham crackers

 **MountainSeas** : 9/10! Raven is scary, but she's nice!

 **roadside shit** : WRONG

 **IceBitch** : 3/10

 **Iceass** : 2/10

 **SaveTheTrees** : Four above tens, six below tens. You're fucked, Raven. 

 **mechanical dicks** : it's okay

 **mechanical dicks** : i have more balls than anyone here 

 **mechanical dicks** : and that's all that matters

 **SaveTheTrees** : Anyways, have fun with your balls, Raven. We're going to the library.

 **water bottle kicker** : no, we aren't 

 **mechanical dicks** : don't you fuckin leave me behind 

 **notadrugdealer** : yeah uh raven might break down your guys' door

 **notadrugdealer** : i'm just saying from experience 

 **drugdealer Jazzy** : oh yeah she did that once at our house

 **drugdealer Jazzy** : it was scary

 **mechanical dicks** : you had fucking POPSICLES i fucking LOVE popsicles 

 **MountainSeas** : Wait, when did this happen?

 **notadrugdealer** : don't worry about it maya it's fine

 **wannabe emo:** yeah john told me that raven once stabbed his fridge 

 **roadside shit** : be quiet emori 

 **wannabe emo** : excuse me, john?

 **roadside shit** : you want it simple? shut the fuck up

 **HistoryNerd** : Murphy. 

 **Literal Harp** : what the fuck happened here me and miller went to go and get food

 **Depends** : raven has balls and murphy just grew his 

 **Depends** : i read through it

 **roadside shit** : shut the fuck up miller

 **HistoryNerd** : Murphy, now. 

[10 minutes later] 

 **mechanical dicks** : those two have been gone a long time

 **mechanical dicks** : probably off fucking

 **roadside shit** : you'd be wrong. 

 **HistoryNerd** : We're not all going to the library today. 

 **i also like candles** : but linctavia is already here

 **SaveTheTrees** : Clarke. It's just "Octavia and Lincoln"

 **SaveTheTrees** : Not fucking "Linctavia"

 **water bottle kicker** : murphamy should come

 **mechanical dicks** : yes that 

 **roadside shit** : 1 were not together 

 **roadside shit** : 2 fuck off octavia 

 **water bottle kicker** : lies

 **water bottle kicker** : it's too perfect of an otp fight me 

 **mechanical dicks:** monty

 **notadrugdealer** : yes, raven?

 **mechanical dicks** : do you have the key to lincoln and octavia's house?

 **i like candles** : he has everyone's key

 **notadrugdealer** : yeah why does everyone trust me so much again?

 **roadside shit** : you're fuckin adorable??

 **HistoryNerd** : And that's coming from Murphy. The guy who threatened to set a hamster on fire. 

 **notadrugdealer** : did we all just forget about the time i changed jasper's test scores on the principal's desk just so he could pass

 **SaveTheTrees** : You did it for your friends.

 **water bottle kicker:** yeah monty is the best 

 **IceBitch** : the only reason i hang out with you fuckers is because of monty

 **Iceass** : yeah he makes really good waffles. 

 **IceBitch** : literally, roan's right. that's all we come over for

 **notadrugdealer** : you guys can just buy the mix at walmart???

 **drugdealer Jazzy** : dude no

 **drugdealer Jazzy** : you put like fuckin love in them or something

 **MountainSeas** : Monty makes the mix so much better. 

 **MountainSeas** : What's the ship again? Jonty?

 **drugdealer Jazzy** : maYA NO

 **notadrugdealer** : you're correct but it's not a thing

 **MountainSeas** : I would literally give Jasper up if I knew Monty would be taking him. 

 **mechanical dicks** : okay who here wants to go rob a bank

 **IceBitch** : fuck yeah

 **Iceass** : yes. 

 **roadside shit** : what's the plan?

 **i like candles** : yeah sure

 **i also like candles** : excuse me lexa no

 **Depends** : sounds fun

 **SaveTheTrees** : No. 

 **water bottle kicker** : YES

 **HistoryNerd** : We are not robbing a bank.

 **wannabe emo** : cool let's go

 **roadside shit** : never mind i agree with bellamy 

 **Literal Harp:** dude yes

 **notadrugdealer** : guys no

 **Depends:** yeah i change my vote too

 **Depends:** we could get imprisoned 

 **drugdealer Jazzy** : fuck yes let's do it

 **MountainSeas** : No. 

 **mechanical dicks** : we're robbing a bank guys let's go 

 **i also like candles** : lexa if you leave this house

 **i like candles** : chase me bitch

 **i also like candles** : goddamnit

 **mechanical dicks** : we're meeting at my prison

 **mechanical dicks** : where all my balls are

 **roadside shit** : okay no more fucking ball jokes


	2. more ball jokes and loud screaming

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> raven makes more ball jokes and murphy decided to put a stop to it  
> also a fan favourite is gonna DIE - i mean what

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> c:

**mechanical dick** : okay step one is to get me out of here

 **roadside shit** : i'm not driving over there to help u

 **HistoryNerd** : You'll rob a bank if I help you. 

 **SaveTheTrees** : ^

 **i also like candles** : lexa where the FUCK are you right now

 **i like candles** : linctavia's house 

 **water bottle kicker** : first fucking person to call us linctavia again is gonna fucking die 

 **SaveTheTrees** : Literally. 

 **roadside shit** : i'd like to die so 

 **roadside shit** : linctavia 

 **water bottle kicker** : BITCH YOU'RE FUCKING DEAD

 **SaveTheTrees** : No no, suicide hotline right now. 

 **roadside shit** : it was a joke lincoln

 **SaveTheTrees** : Wasn't very funny. I care about all of you guys here.

 **HistoryNerd** : ^

 **mechanical dicks** : yeah we may hate each other but we're fucking sappy 

 **mechanical dicks** : we even care about you murphy 

 **Depends** : i swear to god

 **Depends** : no one here is allowed to die 

 **Depends** : not on my watch

 **SaveTheTrees** : Not on MY watch. I'm scarier 

 **water bottle kicker** : linc you pulled over in the rain to save a box of kittens

 **SaveTheTrees** : They were drowning!

 **water bottle kicker** : but

 **water bottle kicker** : they really weren't 

 **mechanical dicks** : uh anyways 

 **mechanical dicks** : does anyone here remember mory?

 **water bottle kicker** : oh fuck yeah i do

 **Iceass** : yes.

 **IceBitch** : she was the one who threw a party close to the azgeda district, right?

 **roadside shit** : o had a crush on her for like three months

 **water bottle kicker** : more like fucking 10

 **SaveTheTrees** : .....

 **i like candles** : yeah o n her were fuckin perfect

 **i also like candles** : ocory was the ship name

 **SaveTheTrees** : Octavia. 

 **water bottle kicker** : we're not together lincoln calm down

 **SaveTheTrees** : Well you guys have much better ship name.

 **roadside shit** : okay bellamy is fucking driving us to the library 

 **HistoryNerd** : Stop texting me. 

 **i also like candles** : everyone go spam bell wth texts

 **i like candles** : hey bell i need to ask you something

 **HistoryNerd** : IS right now really the best time?

 **HistoryNerd** : this is murphy

 **HistoryNerd** : bellamy gave up doing illegal things so he wants me to talk to lexa

[<Conversation between:  **HistoryNerd** and  **i like candles** > (!!PRIVATE!!)]

 **HistoryNerd** : okay bellamy says what's wrong

 **i like candles** : currently me

 **HistoryNerd:** why's that

 **i like candles** : murphy or bell, whoever this is. i have cancer. i'm dying. less than three months. 

 **HistoryNerd** : lexa are you lying to me?

 **i like candles** : no i'm not

 **i like candles** : lung cancer

 **HistoryNerd** : have you told clarke? (this is murphy)

 **i like candles** : no 

 **i like candles** : you're the first person i told

 **i like candles** : oh shit clarke is coming over to my table i'll talk later

[ **Hell and Death** ]

 **Iceass** : news: echo and i are coming to the library 

 **Iceass** : azgeda has this school project 

 **mechanical dicks** : is how 

 **mechanical dicks** : ducks fuck each other

 **IceBitch** : that'd be it

 **SaveTheTrees** : This is why it's great to have a real job. 

 **water bottle kicker** : shut the fuck up lincoln 

 **water bottle kicker** : just because you and bellamy are old as fuck doesn't mean you can brag

 **roadside shit** : theyre like 4 years older than us

 **notadrugdealer** : not too old but still 

 **drugdealer Jazzy** : semi-old

 **MountainSeas** : Question: Why is Octavia dating Lincoln? No offence but. I mean. You two are so different.

 **water bottle kicker** : i get that a lot

 **water bottle kicker** : he's adorable and cute and i love him that's why

 **mechanical dicks** : dude bell murphy

 **mechanical dicks** : we're all waiting for you

 **roadside shit** : we're here at the doors

 **drugdealer Jazzy** : lies i do not see you

 **roadside shit** : other door you fuckin dweeb 

 **notadrugdealer** : HOLTY FUCK S\DID MURPHY JUST CALL JASP A DWWEB

 **roadside shit** : ..??????? what's the matter with the word

 **Iceass** : murphy are you gay?

 **roadside shit** : what no

 **i like candles** : (;

 **i also like candles** : murphy i am gay as fuck and my radar senses that you are too

 **roadside shit** : 1 wrong you're bi 2 i'm not gay

 **mechanical dicks** : there's nothing wrong with being gay murphy 

 **HistoryNerd** : We're here. Center room, the three short bookcases to the left. 

 **SaveTheTrees** : We see you Bell. We're waving. 

 **roadside shit** : are we just gonna text each other instead of talk

 **IceBitch** : yes

 **mechanical dicks** : yeah dude 

 **water bottle kicker** : per usual

 **i also like candles** : okay so like the duck males

 **i also like candles** : literally rape the female ducks

 **roadside shit** : okay i understand this is a project

 **roadside shit** : but can we not talk about rape please

 **notadrugdealer** : yeah of course murphers!!

 **water bottle kicker** : fucking monty is adorable

 **water bottle kicker** : "murphers"

 **SaveTheTrees** : We're such an accepting bunch. Though I am surprised Raven hasn't made a joke yet. 

 **mechanical dicks** : i'm not that big of an asshole

 **mechanical dicks** : also i still can't believe u guys actually kept me in here

 **roadside shit** : don't fucking dare

 **mechanical dicks** : with all my balls

 **roadside shit** : TYOU UCKGREBDF

 **IceBitch** : you've triggered murphy 

 **Iceass** : raven you should see him.

 **Iceass** : he's literally kicking our chairs

 **roadside shit** : fFUCKYOURSELF ROAN

 **mechanical dicks** : i know u love my balls murphy

 **mechanical dicks** : and my ball jokes

 **HistoryNerd** : Alright so, these ducks. Ducks are assholes. 

 **HistoryNerd** : Fuck ducks. 

 **i also like candles** : wow bell

 **i like candles** : that was creative

 **MountainSeas** : Okay Murphy. Calm yourself.

 **notadrugdealer** : murphers pls. i'll make u waffles when we get to my place <3

 **roadside shit** : fine. but only because it's you monty

 **notadrugdealer** : <3

 **drugdealer Jazzy** : no one can say no to monty

 **Literal Harp** : okay sorry guys me n miller got here late 

 **Depends** : there was a traffic line

 **Depends** : also yeah i agree monty is fucking adorable

 **drugdealer Jazzy** : i said u couldn't say no to him not that he's adorable

 **drugdealer Jazzy** : i mean he fuckin is but

 **Depends** : octavia said it tho

 **notadrugdealer** : u guys are making me fuckin smile like an idiot <3 <3

 **i also like candles** : MONTY'S SO FUCKIN CUTE WHEN HE SMILES LOOK AT HIM

 **mechanical dicks** : SEND A FUCKING PICTURE PLEASE I WANT TO SEE

 **i like candles** : [MONTY'S_ADORABLE.png] 

 **mechanical dicks** : HOLY FUCK I WANT OT BE THERE NOW SOMEOJE HELPP

 **HistoryNerd:** No Raven, you must repay for stealing all the plastic balls.

 **mechanical dicks** : excuse me they're MY BALLS

 **roadside shit** : BYFGBWFVUQEHJB\VEWHGFVGEWYGF

 **notadrugdealer** : oh no raven

 **notadrugdealer** : murphers just left

 **mechanical dicks** : he can't get to me and my balls

 **HistoryNerd** : You shouldn't be so confident.

 **Iceass** : have fun.

 **Literal Harp** : c:

 **Depends** : yeaaah murphy is gonna kill raven 

 **Depends** : wait no raven would kill murphy

 **IceBitch:** yeah murphy is scrawny as fuck 

 **HistoryNerd** : He once threw my toaster full force at my window. And missed. 

 **roadside shit** : U CUCK BELLAMY WHHOW CPIULD YOU

 **HistoryNerd** : Love you too, Murph c:

 **water bottle kicker** : oh my gosd that's great

 **SaveTheTrees** : What happened to Emori? She's just..gone.

 **wannabe emo** : not dead 

 **wannabe emo** : my district is a bitch and is making us study the lifecycle of fucking ladybugs 

 **mechanical dicks** : hey murphy guess what

 **mechanical dicks** : i hear you knocking

 **mechanical dicks** : and my 3,783 balls are waiting for you

 **roadside shit** : bitch

 **HistoryNerd** : Lexa? Did you want to talk?

 **i like candles** : oh yeah sure

[<Conversation between:  **HistoryNerd** and  **i like candles** > (!!PRIVATE!!)]

 **HistoryNerd** : Murphy summarized. What can I do to help, Lex?

 **i like candles** : before i die i need to know something

 **i like candles** : do you like murphy?

 **HistoryNerd** : I swear if this is a ploy

 **HistoryNerd** : but yeah I do

 **i like candles** : good u guys are perfectly gay for each other

 **i like candles** : i'm gonna miss clarke so fucking much bell

 **i like candles** : and monty and jasper and maya and miller and murphy and raven and octavia and lincoln

 **i like candles** : and just everyone 

 **i like candles** : and i don't know how to tell them

 **i like candles** : i want them to know but i don't want them to hurt

 **HistoryNerd** : How about this? We can let them know on Game Night?

 **i like candles** : sounds good

[ **Hell and Death** ]

 **mechanical dicks** : GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM THE BATHROOM DOOR

 **roadside shit** : DIE BTIHVC

 **SaveTheTrees:** OUR DOOR

 **water bottle kicker** : FUCJ

 **i like candles** : what the fucklings did i come back to

 **HistoryNerd** : Augustus

 **Iceass** : DO IT MIRUHPY

 **IceBitch** : KCIK THE SHIT OUT OF HIM RAVEN

 **i also like candles** : FUCK HIM UP RAVEN

 **notadrugdealer** : guys no!!

 **drugdealer Jazzy** : KILL HER MURPHY

 **MountainSeas** : Well then

 **mechanical dicks** : U CAN'T GET PAST MY BALLS

 **roadside shit** : MOVE THE FUCKING BALLS

 **mechanical dicks** : NO

 **mechanical dicks** : U CAN'T MAKE ME MOVE MY MULTI COLORED BALLS BITCH

[30 minutes later]

 **SaveTheTrees** : Raven and Murphy are probably dead. 

 **water bottle kicker** : welp

 **notadrugdealer** : i say we drive over there to make sure they're okay

 **mechanical dicks** : me and my balls won

 **roadside shit** : wrong 

 **roadside shit** : i just got locked out

 **mechanical dicks** : say that to ur broken shoulder 


	3. stop lying to me you literal BITC-

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> hospitals and car crashes and fires  
> roan gets another bucket thrown at him  
> raven records everything  
> murphy is pissed  
> no one wins but raven because raven is obviously terrifying

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> c:

**[3:42 PM]**

**notadrugdealer** : RAVEN HOW DCOULD TOU

 **mechanical dicks** : he attacked me

 **roadside shit** : u are so lucky that i can still type

 **roadside shit** : and tell everyone what's goin on u cuck

 **mechanical dicks** : stfu

 **roadside shit** : raven just bitch slapped me cool

 **HistoryNerd** : BITCH GET THE FUCK OFF MURPGHY

 **water bottle kicker** : yo bell calm down raven isn't gonna hurt your boyfriend

 **water bottle kicker** : i mean more so than she already has

 **SaveTheTrees** : Is our door okay?

 **mechanical dicks** : yes u ass 

 **roadside shit** : yeah it's still standing if that counts

 **HistoryNerd** : WE NEED TO GET YOU TO A HOSPITAL MURPGHY

 **notadrugdealer** : YES WE'RE COMING OVERTHERE TO HGELP N DRIVE 

 **drugdealer Jazzy** : monty calm ur shit it's only murphy 

 **notadrugdealer** : ONLY MURPHY???????????????/

 **notadrugdealer** : U CUNT U HAVE NO CLUE WHAT HE'S BEEN THROGUH

 **i like candles** : holy shit monty

 **i also like candles** : jasper ur fucked 

 **MountainSeas** : Monty, calm down. 

 **notadrugdealer** : NO U FUCKING ASSHOLES

 **notadrugdealer** : I'M LEAVIN TO GO JHELP HIM N RAVEN 

 **mechanical dicks** : it's cool monty calm urself

 **roadside shit** : i'm alright monty 

 **notadrugdealer** : ARE YOU SURE ABOUT THAT

 **notadrugdealer** : YOU HAVE A BROKEN ARM MURGHY 

 **HistoryNerd** : MONTY AND I ARE ON OUR WAY FGIVE US A FEW MINTYUES

 **Iceass** : bellamy come back we were doing a pROJECT

 **IceBitch** : bellamy doesn't care about you or your feelings

 **Iceass** : my feeling is hurt

 **Iceass** : my only feeling. 

 **i also like candles** : we're drivin over right now

 **i like candles** : by "we" clarke means literally all of us

 **roadside shit** : guys wtf calm down

 **mechanical dicks** : shit i have to clean up my balls

 **roadside shit** : RAVEN

 **water bottle kicker** : have fun rave 

 **mechanical dicks** : he's weak he can't fight me

 **mechanical dicks** : also excuse me 

 **mechanical dicks** : but rave???

 **water bottle kicker** : like a party

 **SaveTheTrees** : Don't question Octavia. 

 **SaveTheTrees** : She doesn't explain things. 

 **water bottle kicker** : ^ ^ literally this

 **HistoryNerd** : WE'RE HERE 

 **notadrugdealer** : BUSTIN DOWN THE DOOR

 **drugdealer Jazzy** : KICKIN IN THE COUCH

 **mechanical dicks** : the door is locked and i hear you all pounding

 **mechanical dicks** : okay murphy

 **roadside shit** : stfu raven

 **HistoryNerd** : MURPHPY GET READY TO GO TO THE HOSPITAL OKAY??

 **roadside shit** : dude i am FINE

 **Literal Harp** : okay the door is gonna DIE

 **Depends** : BAM BAM BAM

 **MountainSeas** : Cool, we're fucking idiots. 

 **roadside shit** : guys raven is hobblin over to unlock it

 **mechanical dicks** : BITCH

 **water bottler kicker** : okay so like

 **water bottle kicker** : shit is gonna go down

 **water bottle kicker** : so get the fuck out of our house 

 **SaveTheTrees:** Literally.

 **mechanical dicks** : oh shit O NO

 **mechanical dicks** : PUT THE FUCKING FIRE OUT ALRWEADY

 **SaveTheTrees** : OCTAVIA

 **HistoryNerd** : MURPHY GET OUT

 **roadside shit** : what the FUCK

**[4:12 PM]**

**mechanical dicks** : okay so

 **mechanical dicks** : bell u can go into visit murphy

 **Iceass** : my head hurts like a bitch. 

 **water bottle kicker** : sorry bout that roa

 **Iceass** : yeah sure. 

 **i like candles** : wtf happened i stayed in the car and went back to the library 

 **mechanical dicks** : okay so 

 **mechanical dicks** : i broke murphy's arm, bell and monty (and everyone else) came over. my balls got unleased, o "accidentally" started a fire and threw another bucket at roan. all the while, bell and monty tried to get murphy to the hospital by hijacking licoln's car. clarke was screaming about u and murphy got to the hospital 

 **mechanical dicks** : and from there lincoln put out the fire, echo attacked a squirrel, and my balls are currently residing in linctavia's car and bellamy's house

 **HistoryNerd** : Murphy says to fuck off.

 **HistoryNerd** : And that he wants to see that video. 

**[2:57 AM]**

**roadside shit** : can we get a family snake

 **roadside shit** : like a shared snake

 **roadside shit** : thatd be coool

 **roadside shit** : o fuck nurses comin in

 **notadrugdealer** : murphy go to sleep pls 

 **roadside shit** : but

 **notadrugdealer** : sleep u small child 

 **roadside shit** : no

 **HistoryNerd** : murphy go to sleep 

 **HistoryNerd** : sleep murph 

 **roadside shit** : fine u cuck <3

 **HistoryNerd** : <3 

**[5:43 AM]**

**roadside shit** : okay the doctor says i can get up 

 **mechanical dicks** : well good mirning 

 **roadside shit** : why are u up at this time

 **mechanical dicks** : i work at the local bar

 **mechanical dicks** : what the fuck do you think

 **roadside shit** : oh yeah you're an

 **roadside shit** : actual mechanic 

 **mechanical dicks** : yeah i am u cuck 

 **roadside shit** : don't use my insults against me you cocksmoothie 

 **drugdealer Jazzy** : tf is a cocksmoothie 

 **notadrugdealer** : don't question him

 **roadside shit** : also raven you go to the same school we do why aren't u there

 **mechanical dicks** : got a pass to go to work today

 **mechanical dicks** : mama bird says she'll kill me if i don't get a house here soon

 **water bottle kicker** : dude u could live with us

 **SaveTheTrees** : Eh, as much as I dislike the idea, we wouldn't turn you away, Raven. 

 **Iceass** : you guys are fuckin peasants. i've been up since last friday and i have a head wound.

 **roadside shit** : raven BROKE my arm 

 **Iceass** : OCTAVIA threw a bucket at me

 **roadside shit** : true yours is worse 

 **MountainSeas** : Guys class here in Weatherun starts in two hours

 **MountainSeas** : Why the fuck are you all up 

 **notadrugdealer** : well because we're 16-25 year old children/"adults" 

 **notadrugdealer** : and we're probably all insomniacs 

 **water bottle kicker** : ^^^

 **SaveTheTrees** : Hah, suffer. You have to go to school while I get to do my JOB

 **water bottle kicker** : you literally work for a flower shop

 **SaveTheTrees** : It pays well, and you like the flowers? 

 **HistoryNerds** : Go back to fuckin sleep, everyone.

 **HistoryNerds** : I also have a job this is ridiculous. 

 **roadside shit** : yeah you librarian 

 **roadside shit** : such a bad job

 **HistoryNerd** : Excuse me, but you still go to school (:

 **water bottle kicker** : what a nerd

 **i also like candles** : lexa is half ready to throw her phone out the window

 **i also like candles** : so can u all like shut the fuck up

 **roadside shit** : yeah sure

 **HistoryNerd** : Of course.

 **water bottle kicker** : wtf is going on murphy offered to shut up without question

 **roadside shit** : im tired alright 

 **water bottle kicker** : sure got it 

 **HistoryNerd** : I'm coming to visit you, Murphy

 **roadside shit** : cool 

 **mechanical dicks** : o shit my boss jsut

 **mechanical dicks** : fuck wick go away

 **mechanical dicks** : sinclair no

 **mechanical dicks** : FUICDHFYUDFHUR

 **SaveTheTrees** : I'm guessing it's Wick, again?

 **mechanical dicks** : you'd be right

 **mechanical dicks** : so you guys literally just 

 **mechanical dicks** : scream at each other?

 **Depends** : yeah sometimes

 **Iceass** : 99% of the time

 **IceBitch** : well roan, harper, miller, and i aren't here often so 40-100%

 **notadrugdealer** : it happens

 **MountainSeas** : Guys go to sleep

 **drugdealer Jazzy** : no

 **i also like candles** : what the FUCK did i JUST say

 **i also like candles** : all of you, shut the FUCK up

 **roadside shit** : yeah guys stfu now 

 **HistoryNerd** : Listen to Clarke.

 **water bottle kicker** : is that bellarke i hear 

 **HistoryNerd** : Shut the hell up, O.

 **SaveTheTrees** : Hey everyone, look at the time. It's 6:59. Have fun being late

 **water bottle kicker** : LOICNOLCN WHY DIDNT U SAYSOEMTHING 

**[12:33 PM]**

**roadside shit** : guys guys guys guys

 **roadside shit** : bell just got in anaccident 

 **roadside shit** : fuckurfckufkc hes here rn

 **roadside shit** : OCTAVIA 

**[2:51 PM]**

**roadside shit** : hes fine hes fine

 **roadside shit** : just a brokenarm 

 **water bottle kicker** : WTF??

 **SaveTheTrees** : We're coming over. 

 **SaveTheTrees** :  School's out in 9 minutes 

 **Depends** : fuck that i'm in track

 **Depends** : i can leave without no one knowing

 **Literal Harp** : SHIT

 **Literal Harp** : fucking BELLAMY??

 **roadside shit** : yeahyeahyeah hes okay tho

 **roadside shit** : the other guys fine too 

 **water bottle kicker** : thats it they cant keep me locked in here while bell is injured

 **SaveTheTrees** : Octavia no

 **notadrugdealer** : o there's only three minutes left!! it'll be fine

 **MountainSeas** : Fuck you all, you're so lucky I can act

 **MountainSeas** : Are you sure Bell's okay?? 

 **HistoryNerd** : Bell is fine. 

 **HistoryNerd** : Go back to your classes/jobs guys 

 **Depends** : already driving there BITCH

 **drugdealer Jazzy** : THAT WAS THE BELL GO GO GOGOGOOGO

 **drugdealer Jazzy** : WERE COMIN FOR U BELL 

 **drugdealer Jazzy** : WELL SAVE U

 **HistoryNerd** : Excuse me?

 **drugdealer Jazzy** : GOVERNMENT EXPERIMENTS ON U

 **roadside shit** : jasper how high are you 

 **notadrugdealer** : don't even ask 

 **water bottle kicker** : lincoln stop speeding

 **SaveTheTrees** : STOP TEXTING ME 

 **water bottle kicker** : update: we almost hit a trashcan

 **watter bottle kicker** : UPDATE WE ALMSOT HIT A CAR 

 **HistoryNerd** : LINCOLN DRIVE SAVER 

 **SaveTheTrees** : STFU BELL

 **water bottle kicker** : HFFUUHTHAT WAS A  _CHILD_ LINCON

 **water bottle kicker** : LICF BGH STOPLGGUTH STOPLIGHT STOPLIGHT 

 **HistoryNerd:** LINCOLN 

 **SaveTheTrees** : WGRREGEBGHEBFUCK

 **mechanical dicks** : LINCOLN THAT'S MY CAR BACK THE FUCK AWAY FROM IT

 **i like candles** : JESUS CHRIST GUYS DON'T DIE

 **i also like candles** : BE SAFE RAVEN N BELL N MURPHY N LINCOLN N OCTAVIA

 **Iceass** : and roan

 **i also like** **candles** : N ROAN

 **mechanical dicks** : lLCINGIN THATS MY XARR

 **mechanical dicks** : GHET AYWYAY UYITYU

 **mechanical dicks** : LINCOLND NO

 **HistoryNerd:** GODDAMNIT GUYS

 **roadside shit** : have fun bell 

 **HistoryNerd** : QUIET YOU MURDEROUS BASTARD 


	4. i honestly fuckin can't w/ u guys

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "have u guys ever wondered  
> what itd be like to fuck a blender"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> everyone questions ravens interesting questions  
> also things happen per usual  
> okay this is so much sadder than i wanted to be???  
> wtf is wrong with me

**water bottle kicker** : just would like to say i love u all 

 **water bottle kicker** : raven ur hot 

 **water bottle kicker** : im probably gonna die now 

 **SaveTheTrees** : Stfu you're fine

 **water bottle kicker** : STOP TEXCITNG AND DRCVING 

 **HistoryNerd** : Lincoln I swear to god, if my sister dies because of you

 **notadrugdealer** : jasper n i are here bell

 **notadrugdealer** : okay maybe just me mentally right now but

_roadside shit changed **drugdealer Jazzy's** name to " **insane bird** "_

**insane** **bird** : FUCK OFDF MURLTY

 **notadrugdealer** : maya we're gonna get a bird 

 **MountainSeas** : No

 **roadside shit** : bell i dunno if theyll let me leave my room

 **roadside shit** : to go visit u but i can try

 **HistoryNerd** : I think they'll let you

 **mechanical dicks** : how hot am i octavia because lincoln almost killed me

 **water bottle kicker** : 100/10

 **mechanical dicks** : <3 

 **water bottle kicker** : like id totally be with you but 

 **water bottle kicker** : lincoln is kinda still alive

 **SaveTheTrees** : Thanks Octavia

 **water bottle kicker** : i'm joking ily <3 

 **roadside shit** : ew love

 **i also like candles** : okay so bell got into an accident and then octavia came out of the closet 

 **i also like candles** : and now we're all meeting at bell's hospital room

 **Depends** : yeah

 **Literal Harp** : yes

 **Iceass** : ^

 **roadside shit** : basically 

  **i also like candles** : bell what happened

 **HistoryNerd** : Well I was driving, and then this guy slams into my car. And that's it 

 **mechanical dicks** : to lighten the mood

 **mechanical dicks** : has anyone here ever thought about fucking a blender

 **wannabe emo** : ur dick would be in the arms of hell

 **IceBitch** : raven wtf is wrong with you

 **IceBitch** : i'm a psychotic bitch but even i haven't thought of doing that

 **roadside shit** : can i please die 

 **roadside shit** : how tf would you even

 **roadside shit** : i just can't w/ u raven

 **water bottle kicker** : wtf dude

 **SaveTheTrees** : Okay Bell, we're here and Raven no

 **insane bird** : i have but id never do it 

 **notadrugdealer** : jasper wtf

 **notadrugdealer** : raven wtf

 **HistoryNerd** : Why me

 **Literal Harp** : jesus fucking christ

 **Depends** : jesus fucking christ is on the case 

 **Iceass** : raven why

 **mechanical dicks** : no it's just a thought

 **mechanical dicks** : i was just wondering

 **HistoryNerd** : i honestly fuckin can't w/ u guys

 **i also like candles** : GUSY BELL USED "U" AND "i" AND "FUCKIN" AND "W/"

 **i like candles** : holy hell the world is gonna burn now

 **i also like candles** : its already burning :c

 **i like candles** : i'm sorry clarke i can come over there to comfort you

 **roadside shit** : bell are u okay

 **HistoryNerd** : my arm is

 **HistoryNerd** : dying

 **HistoryNerd** : i cant be my normal regal self

 **roadside shit** : yeah hes fine only bellamy would call himself "regal"

 **mechanical dicks** : dude bell how can you text like such an ass

 **mechanical dicks** : just type lke us

 **HistoryNerd** : no go bother lincoln or maya about their typing style 

 **MountainSeas** : I just have autocorrect and capitalize every first word on

 **water bottle kicker** : hey bell we're here now

 **i also like candles** : lex n i are on our way 

 **insane bird** : monty where did you go 

 **notadrugdealer** : to bell's room??

 **insane bird** : where the fuck is that

 **notadrugdealer** : jasper where are you

 **insane bird** : outside

 **notadrugdealer** : and why are you there

 **roadside shit** : i can see him from my window 

 **roadside shit** : raven just pulled up

 **roadside shit** : clarke + lexa just got here 

 **roadside shit** : harper, miller, roan, n echo are also here 

 **roadside shit** : now maya so i think were all ehre

 **insane bird** : i'm looking for 

 **insane bird** : government spies 

 **notadrugdealer** : jasper get ur ass in this building

 **Depends** : i'll bring him in

 **insane bird** : nO FUCK OFF MULLWER 

 **Depends** : got him

 **Literal Harp** : murphy record this please just look at him

 **roadside shit** : oh god

 **roadside shit** : will do

 **roadside shit** : please don't abandon me for bell 

 **HistoryNerd** : lets all go to murphys room 

 **mechanical dicks** : which room

 **HistoryNerd** : 305

 **water bottle kicker** : cool

 **SaveTheTrees** : Let's go then

 **mechanical dicks** : sounds good

 **roadside shit** : i didn't mean you all had to come to my room but thanks 

 **notadrugdealer** : ohmygodmiller

 **Depends** : i tried

 **Literal Harp** : IMFONTHECICKING CROGURHN LAUGHING

 **mechanical dicks** : HIRGBHFUCKING HELL

 **insane bird** : fuck u all

 **HistoryNerd** : ??????

 **notadrugdealer** : DDEE=-EFB

 **notadrugdealer** : [jasper_the_dog.jpg] 

 **HistoryNerd** : MULELR

 **Depends** : HE DIDNT WANT TO COOPERATE OKAY

 **insane bird** : kys

 **wannabe emo** : wait where are we going

 **roadside shit** : no not you

 **roadside shit** : stay the rfuck away from me

 **wannabe emo** : john..

 **roadside shit** : fuck off emori 

 **roadside shit** : so are we all meeting at my room

**[4:29 PM]**

**mechanical dicks** : that was fun 

 **HistoryNerd** : yeah sure

 **SaveTheTrees** : It was shit. 

 **water bottle kicker** : its not her fault

 **roadside shit** : its not 

 **roadside shit** : she cant help it

 **Literal Harp** : i hope shes okay

 **Depends** : im gonna miss her

 **roadside shit** : stfu miller 

 **water bottle kicker** : so was that why you two agreed with clarke 

 **HistoryNerd** : yeah

 **roadside shit** : yeah 

 **water bottle kicker** : thank u for not telling us

 **roadside shit** : she didnt want us to

 **SaveTheTrees** : She shouldn't have to go through that 

 **insane bird** : can we allcoekover to ym shouse 

 **insane bird** : montyssobigj n aihbf

 **mechanical dicks** : bring blankets 

 **mechanical dicks** : were coming over guys 

 **MountainSeas** : Monty is sobbing and Jasper is shaking and please hurry 

 **Iceass** : echo is too sad to say things so i will- we're coming over too

 **Iceass** : where does jasper/maya/monty live?

 **roadside shit** : roan do you know where i live

 **Iceass** : yea

 **roadside shit** : we can meet there and ill drive u all

 **mechanical dicks** : bring blankets to help us cope

 **wannabe emo** : can i come over??

 **HistoryNerd** : don't fuck with murphy and maybe we'll decide 

 **water bottle kicker** : this is about lexa, not you two fucks 

 **roadside shit** : i know

 **roadside shit:** come over if you want but don't expect me to talk to you

 **wannabe emo** : got it deal accepted 

 **Literal Harp** : mill n i r comin over

 **Depends** : were on our way

**[10:21 PM]**

**i also like candles** : guys can one of you please come to the hospital 

 **i also like candles** : lexa is freaking out being alone 

 **roadside shit** : im on my fucking qway whatts her room number

 **i also like candles** : 289 

 **roadside shit** : got it ill be therein less than 5 minutes 

 **notadrugdealer** : can i come with murphy 

 **roadside shit** : already on my way 2 get u

**[1:02 AM]**

**i also like candles** : sorry sorry sorry but can someone please come with me to see lex 

 **roadside shit** : omw

**[3:38 AM]**

**i also like candles** : thank u murphy for staying that long 

 **roadside shit** : i can come back? still in the parking lot 

 **i also like candles** : lex feels bad for asking but

 **roadside shit** : im comin back in 

 **roadside shit** : also wtf are these visiting hours 

 **i also like candles** : my mom works here n let us in 

 **roadside shit** : o cool

 **roadside shit** : am here knockin 

 **i also like candles** : got it dude 

**[6:09 AM]**

**i also like candles** : gtfffffffffff

 **i also like candles** :gugsy s 

 **i also like candles** : eshehhshes gone

 **i also like candles** : shehs died thisi mkyjng

 **i also like candles:** lexasssjdhf foen

 **notadrugdealer** : NO FUCK FGOSD HWY NOTK LEHXA

 **insane bird** : ahyt leasdt wwe all lftitgjot to spedn time with herb weofre

 **insane bird** : god clakroim so sory

 **roadside shit** : no

 **roadside shit** : she cant be fucking dead

 **roadside shit** : they said she could 

 **roadside shit** : no

 **i also like candles** : shehs said she loved uyou murpghy

 **mechanical dicks** : NO 

 **mechanical dicks** : NONONONONONONO THE DOCTROS SAID THEY SFYCKING SAID SHECOULD LIVE THAT THERE WAS A CHANCE

 **water bottle kicker** : imsososrt calrke im sorry so soryr

 _i also like candles changed **i also like candles'**_ _name to_ **_i miss Candle_ **

**i miss Candle** : shes gone 

 **i miss Candle** : shes fucking gone 

 **roadside shit** : shell always be with us

 **i miss Candle** : none of us believe in god

 **roadside shit** : we don't have to 

 **SaveTheTrees** : they said there was a chance 

 **HistoryNerd** : there was  fucking chance what the fuck did they not do 

 **i miss Candle** : they did everything they could 

 **Iceass** : not fucking enough

 **wannabe emo** : ...

 **IceBitch** : im gonna fucking kill them all 

 **i miss Candle** : she said she loved u all

 **i miss Candle** : n that shed miss you all nad had an amazing day with you guys 

 **roadside shit** : who was her fucking doctor 

 **roadside shit** : what the fuck was their name 

 **i miss Candle** : they did everything they could murphy 

 **roadside shit** : no they fucking didnt 

 **SaveTheTrees** : My little sister is gone

 **SaveTheTrees** : Who the fuck was her doctor

 **i miss Candle** : i miss her so so so much but i cant tell you that 

 **notadrugdealer** : his name was finn collins

 **notadrugdealer** : trainee to abby's old trainee/nurse Jackson 

 **notadrugdealer** : him n abby were there the night she died 

 **notadrugdealer** : im gonna  fucking kkil him 

 


	5. the icicle murderer

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> MUCH MROE LIGHTHEARTED I SWTEARD

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okay so this isn't so depressing!!! also it's TOTALLY not a reference to my real life and experiences god no

**mechanical dicks** : monty no

 **mechanical dicks** : im fucking pissed but we cant kill finn

 **notadrugdealer** : yes, we can! 

 **insane bird** : monty would lexa want that ?

 **notadrugdealer** : i

 **roadside shit** : i thought she had another month or three

 **roadside shit** : jesus christ why was it her 

 **MountainSeas** : No she wouldn't, Monty

 **i miss Candle** : please monty 

 **roadside shit** : i want to fucking rip his scalp off slowly but 

 **roadside shit** : we cant do that 

 **HistoryNerd** : clarke how is she being--

 **i miss Candle** : buried in arkadia's meadow

 **HistoryNerd** : today?

 **i miss Candle** : yeah

 **roadside shit** : can we visit?

 **i miss Candle** : please do

 **[2:58]**  

 **mechanical dicks** : cLARKE 

 **i miss Candle** : ?

 **mechanical dicks** : to help us all i think we should 

 **mechanical dicks** : find the icicle murderer 

 **insane bird** : omg yes

 **notadrugdealer** : lexa fuckin loved that dude 

 **Iceass** : wtf is an icicle murder

 **mechanical dicks** : this 9 year old who ran around screamin that he was an icicle murderer 

 **mechanical dicks** : like dude you shouldn't want to admit that 

 **i miss Candle** : im taking a break from life for a few weeks but well do that 

 **roadside shit** : you do whatever you want clarke

 **[HistoryNerd** to  **i miss Candle** ]

 **HistoryNerd** : did lexa tell you?

 **i miss Candle** : that ur gay as fuck for murphy?

 **HistoryNerd** : that's strongly putting it 

 **i miss Candle** : u just made my day better you gay ass fuck 

 **HistoryNerd** : that's not gonna be your new nickname for me 

 **i miss Candle** : oh but it is 

**[Hell and Death]**

**HistoryNerd**   _changed the chat's name to_ **Finding Nemo**

 **roadside shit** : bell are you okay

 **gay ass fuck** : yeah 

 **gay ass fuck** : WAIT 

 **gay ass fuck** : CLAREK 

 **i miss Candle** : (; suffer bitch

 **roadside shit** : cool name bell 

 **gay ass fuck** : shut the fuck up murphy 

 **roadside shit** : but it fits you

 **Iceass** : i agree

 **IceBitch** : bellamy everyone here knows youre gay

 **gay ass fuck** : im not fucking gay 

 **roadside shit** : you cant say that with that fucking nickname 

 **i miss Candle** : im fucking laughing my ass off 

 **gay ass fuck** : IM NOT FUCKING GAY 

 **mechanical dicks** : OH MY GOD BELL U CAME OUT

 **roadside shit** : hes denying it 

 **gay ass fuck** : BECAUSE ITS NOT TRUE 

 **i miss Candles** : ur fucking wrong 

 **MountainSeas** : This is great 

 **notadrugdealer** : holy shit bell ily

 **notadrugdealer** : ily2 clarke 

 **notadrugdealer** : this is fuckin amazing <3 <3 <3 

 **wannabe emo** : well then

 **Literal Harp** : miller is dying over here

 **Literal Harp** : hes fuckin on the gorund 

**-Error Inbound. Unknown user present; "hoFUCK"-**

**hoFUCK** : GUYS 

 **i miss Candle** : WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU

 **hoFUCK** : WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU

 **i miss Candle** : I ASKED YOU FIRST

 **hoFUCK** : I ASKED YOU SECOND 

 **gay ass fuck** : CLARKE STOP MAKING FRIENDS WITH LITERAL STRANGERS 

 **hoFUCK** : im not a stranger tho??

 **hoFUCK** : have you guys already forgotten about me 

 **hoFUCK** : cause this is creepy af 

 **roadside shit** : who the actual fuck are you

 **hoFUCK** : clarkey's dead girlfriend 

 **hoFUCK** : aka im lexa

 **hoFUCK** : also wtf are you guys doing and why cant you see me 

 **i miss Candle** : get. out of this chat. 

 **hoFUCK** : no clarke really!! i can see you guys right now

 **hoFUCK** : youre having sandwiches at monty's

 **hoFUCK** : well minus bell who just arrived

 **gay ass fuck** : how tf do you know this

 **hoFUCK** : because im in the fucking door way opening it for you??

 **gay ass fuck** : the door just opened and no one is there

 **i miss Candle** : lexa

 **hoFUCK** : ?

 **i miss Candle** : are you a 

 **i miss Candle** : ghost??

 **roadside shit** : we don't even know this is real

 **hoFUCK** : OKAY i can prove that its me

 **hoFUCK** : when it was just clarke n i at the hospital i told her to delete mu history after i died

 **hoFUCK** : also i lied to u guys because i had a little less than a week or two to live so 

 **i miss Candle** : shes not lying???

 **hoFUCK** : also i think i said u all were hot af so 

 **water bottle kicker** : wtf did we mi

 **SaveTheTrees** : Lexa??

 **hoFUCK** : heyy big brother 

 **SaveTheTrees** : How...?

 **hoFUCK** : ive got like no clue 

 **roadside shit** : this cant be fuckin real

 **roadside shit** : jasper what the fuck did you put in the brownies????

 **insane bird** : there was no weed 

 **hoFUCK** : murphy look left 

 **roadside shit** : WHYDSHEHFGFUCK WAS THAT

 **hoFUCK** : me, LEXA, knocking down a plastic container full of food 

 **mechanical dicks** : holy shit can i hug you

 **hoFUCK** : i can hear you guys you know

 **mechanical dicks** : but you cant talk to us 

 **[** **Two nicknames have been changed!]**

 **i like candles** : thanks this makes everything much more normal

 **i also like candles** : i fucking missed you so much

 **i like candles** : not as much as i did clarke <3 

 **gay ass fuck** : waitwaitwaitwait guys 

 **gay ass fuck** : when we die will we all become ghosts n fuck around????

 **i like candles** : dude i hope so 

 **IceBitch** : holy shit lexa!!!

 **Iceass** : this is fucking great

 **Depends** : omg lexa

 **Literal Harp** : we just got here and there was the sound of happy squeaks shes aLIVE???

 **i like candles** : well no 

 **i like candles** : im still dead but 

 **i like candles** : am a GHOST 

 **i also like candles** : im happy to know that my dead girlfriend can still be my only semi-dead girlfriend 

 **water bottle kicker** : so we're just ognna act like nothing happened and lexa is still alive

 **roadside shit** : yes 


	6. we're all gay here bell

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> uh ghosts and gayness

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so sorry for the short chapter! i just wanted to get it out, and have a shit ton of testing so :c

**insane bird** : were all gay here bell

 **Depends** : that didn't even relate to the topic of lexa being a fucking ghost 

 **Literal Harp** : lexa = gay so 

 **i like candles** : ur right about that

 **i also like candles** : so lex whatre you doing right now

 **i like candles** : watchin u guys eat 

 **notadrugdealer** : make yourself a sandwich!! we've got the things for them

 **gay ass fuck** : i am not gay jasper 

 **roadside shit** : oh really 

 **gay ass fuck** : murphy stfu im not gay

 **roadside shit** : your typing style says differently 

 **gay ass fuck** : just because i type like this doesn't mean i'm gay 

 **Depends** : nah dude we're all gay

 **SaveTheTrees** : Minus Maya, Octavia, Jasper, and I? 

 **Literal Harp** : why didn't you include miller 

 **Depends** : because im gay as fuck

 **Literal Harp** : hhhoh yea 

 **Iceass** : echo n i aren't gay either 

 **i also like candles** : ur weaklings then 

 **i like candles** : says u clarke ur bi

 **i also like candles** : im datin a gay ghost

 **i also like candles** : that makes me part of the gay club

 **wannabe emo** : okay so im gonna leave this chat bc it moves too fast for me 

**wannabe emo has left the group chat!**

**roadside shit** : THANK GOD

 **gay ass fuck** : that's rude 

 **mechanical dicks** : tbh we're all pretty gay linc

 **mechanical dicks** : im gay as fuck, miller is, murphy is, bell is, clarke is, lexa is, octavia is, you probs are, emori is, harper is, monty is, maya is, jasper is, echo is, roan is

 **roadside shit** : i'm not gay tho raven

 **roadside shit** : you should know this u cuck

 **mechanical dicks** : lies bitch 

 **i also like candles** : stop lyin

 **roadside shit** : i'm not

 **roadside shit** : i've only dated females 

 **gay ass fuck** : does Jackson not count 

 **roadside shit** : i was drunk 

 **gay ass fuck** : sure

 **i also like candles** : murphy u fucked my mom's assistant 

 **roadside shit** : nah we didn't fuck 

 **notadrugdealer** : good job murphy!! 

 **roadside shit** : ??

 **gay ass fuck** : o shit good job murph!

 **i like candles** : holy shit i can see it too

 **water bottle kicker** : omg how ??

 **Literal Harp** : HOHFUCHFGHD

 **roadside shit** : im so confused wtf 

 **gay ass fuck** : HONOR ROLE MURPHY

 **roadside shit** : hOLY SHIT

 **water bottle kicker** : IM SO PROUD 

 **SaveTheTrees** : GOOD JOB MURPHY

 **roadside shit** : HPWWEKJGHFDHSJ HOW

 **i like candles** : mY SON

 **i also like candles** : HOLY SHIT

 **i also like candles** : OUR SON

 **gay ass fuck** : HAHAGDHSJJDFHGDHJFHGDHJESUS

 **roadside shit** : RVANE

 **mechanical dicks** : WTFHOW

 **insane bird** : MURPHY U DID IT

 **notadrugealer** : LETS THROW A PARTY????

 **mechanical dicks** : FUCK YEAH

 **notadrugdealer** : JASPER N I WILL THROW IT

 **mechanical dicks** ; ILL BRIGN MY BALLS

 **gay ass fuck** : murphy just hopped in my car hes anfry 

 **i like candles** : ANFRY 

 **anfry** : oh 

 **anfry** : STOP CAANCONG MY FUKING NAME CKAJE 


	7. oh shitshitshitshitSHIT AM SORRY

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> basically murphy does things  
> bellamy dislikes these choices  
> and lexa is an asshole ghost who punches walls to scare her classmates

**i also like candles** +  **anfry's** conversation!

 **i also like candles** : does murphy know

 **anfry** : about

 **i also like candles** : that u wanna fuck him

 **anfry** : i do not want to fuck murphy 

 **i also like candles** : wrong 

 **anfry** : stfu i like him not wanna fuck him

 **i also like candles** : sure 

 **anfry** : you're lucky lexa can still type or i'd fucking strangle you 

 **i also like candles** : (; 

**[Finding Nemo]**

**anfry** : 1- im not gay jasper 2- why are we all gay now 3- clarke is an asshole 

 **i like candles** : yea she is but i love her

 **i also like candles** : <3 

 **i like candles** : <3 

 **mechanical dicks** : and you're just figuring number 3 out now

 **roadside shit** : dude bell ur totally gay tho

 **water bottle kicker** : i agree with murphy

 **SaveTheTrees** : ^

 **insane bird** : ^

 **notadrugdealer** : ^

 **Iceass** : ^

 **IceBitch** : ^

 **Literal Harp** : ^

 **Depends** : ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

 **anfry** : fuck you all 

 **roadside shit** : u would

 **mechanical dicks** : are we having an orgy

 **i like candles** : yes 

 **Depends** : wait what no

 **Literal Harp** : wtf raven 

 **Literal Harp** : wtf lexa

 **insane bird** : monty shouldn't have to hear those words

 **MountainSeas** : Huh. 

 **notadrugdealer** : jasper im not innocent 

 **notadrugdealer** : ?????

 **insane bird** : sure

 **MountainSeas** : Monty you're fucking adorable and innocent. You're super innocent.

 **anfry** : monty no you don't know what an orgy is 

 **notadrugdealer** : BUT I DO???

 **notadrugdealer** : guys stop acting like im super innocent bc im NOT

 **i also like candles** : god i love lexa so much

 **i like candles** : stfu it was a mistake

 **i also like candles** : "love is weakness"

 **i also like candles** :  >proceeds to stare at me with heart eyes 99% of the time

 **i also like candles** :  >constantly watches me while i sleep 

 **i like candles** : STFU

 **i also like candles** : when i die i look forwards to that

 **i also like candles** : also lex can u like see urself or

 **i like candles** : yeah its basically just like living 

 **insane bird** : cool but lexa tell monty hes innocent

 **i like candles** : monty define cock

 **roadside shit** : vBDFJKS

 **gay ass fuck** : well then

 **gay ass fuck** : clarke make up your fucking mind what is my nickname gonna be

 **i also like candles** : gay ass fuck for now

 **roadside shit** : (; 

 **mechanical dicks** : its not like its a bad thing to be gay bell

 **SaveTheTrees** : ^ 

 **water bottle kicker** : exactly !

 **Depends** : yeah bell

 **MountainSeas** : I'm not gay myself, but I think it's wonderful that people can be accepted for who they love!! There's nothing wrong with being gay, Bell c:

 **gay ass fuck** : yeah okay?? i know that but im not gay 

 **roadside shit** : are u 100% sure

 **gay ass fuck** : yes

 **roadside shit** : lies

 **Iceass** : i agree with murphy

 **IceBitch** : same?

 **notadrugdealer** : lexa i think of a large penis 

 **i like candles** : he passed the "not innocent test"

 **insane bird** : nah dude he had to search it up

 **notadrugdealer** : stfu u asshole 

 **roadside shit** : OH FUCK

**[6:34 PM]**

**mechanical dicks** : so is murphy still alive or what

 **water bottle kicker** : yeah kinda

 **water bottle kicker** : he has an even more broken arm and his ribs arent doing to well

 **mechanical dicks** : what happened? 

 **SaveTheTrees** : Some fucking asshole on the road didn't stop for him walking, and he got hit

 **mechanical dicks** : wow everyone here really likes cars huh

 **Iceass** : echo n i are comin over 

 **Iceas** : murphy is frail as fuck

 **i like candles** : dont worry guys hes not dead

 **Depends** : im honestly worried about him hes so fucking small n weak 

 **Literal Harp** : bell has been waiting outside the er room for the past three hours

 **Literal Harp** : im super worried about both of them

 **i also like candles** : yeah more so bell than murphy

 **i also like candles** : i dunno murphys a fighter but bell is fuckin destroyed right now

 **i like candles** : yeah a little worse than u when i "died" 

 **water bottle kicker** : im so worried

 **Literal Harp** : murphys a fighter hell be fine

 **notadrugdealer** : both of themll be fine i hope :c

 **MountainSeas** : Are we gonna visit them?

 **SaveTheTrees** : Probably, when Murphy is awake 

 **water bottle kicker** : bell is so fucking sad

**[3:32 AM]**

**roadside shit** : well good morning

 **roadside shit** : im in quite a bit of pain

 **roadside shit** : im gonna go back to resting 

**[4:12 AM]**

**roadside shit** : fuck i cant fall asleepo

 **roadside shit** : ribs n arms n legs n entire body hurts but

 **roadside shit** : ow

 **roadside shit** : im gonna play some dont touch the spikes

**[6:28 AM]**

**mechanical dicks** : murphy bell is worried about u

 **roadside shit** : oh 

 **roadside shit** : tbh i hate this hospital 

 **notadrugdealer** : murphy pls sleep 

 **insane bird** : yeah dude u got hit w/ a car R E S T 

 **i like candles** : ^

 **i also like candles** : ^ 

 **water bottle kicker** : ^^^^^^^^^^

 **roadside shit** : but i cant fall asleep 

 **SaveTheTrees** : Try REALLY hard

 **roadside shit** : fuck u n ur sarcasm linc 

 **SaveTheTrees** : <3 

 **i like candles** : oh yeah lincoln anyas here

 **SaveTheTrees** : GFTBIGHFUJSEBH JANYA

 **water bottle kicker** : holy shit hes fucking happy

 **water bottle kicker** : he just leapt out of bed and is fucking grinning and danicnbg 

**i like candles added "bitch no" to Finding Nemo!**

**bitch no** : hi lincy 

 **SaveTheTrees** : GOD I MISSED YOU SO MUCH ANYA I FUCKING

 **i also like candles** : awww the family is reunited 

 **roadside shit** : minus the fact that 2 of them are dead

 **i also like candles** : dont ruin the fucking moment 

 **gay ass fuck** : murphy go to fucking sleep

 **roadside shit** : okay no first off i didnt see the car

 **roadside shit** : secondly i didnt mean to get hit by said car

 **roadside shit** : thirdly i am not going to sleep 

 **gay ass fuck** : murphy. 

 **SaveTheTrees** : GOD I MISSED YOU ANYA

 **bitch no** : lincoln i know this

 **bitch no** : tbh its pretty quiet in the ghost world 

 **bitch no** : im sorry i left u two

 **i like candles** : no its okay!! <3 

 **water bottle kicker** : guys i hate to break this but school n jobs

 **notadrugdealer** : oH SHIT

**[10:15 AM]**

**i also like candles** : guys

 **i also like candles** : lexa just

 **i also like candles** : punched a wall

 **i also like candles** : in the middle of class

 **i like candles** : (; 

 


	8. hi gina youve made a mistake, also, project murphamy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> bellamy is "not gay" 
> 
> he lies

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> gina (even tho she is real in the 100, bellamy states it)- her entire texting type(????????) is based off of a close friend of mine
> 
> ALSO IM FUCKING PISSED FUCK BECHO IM SUPER UPSET  
> GODDAMNIT BELL U HAD /6/ YEARS. /6/. WITH. MURPHY.  
> WHATTHEFUCKISWRONGWITHYOU?????  
> (if you want to see how pissed i am/was, add me on discord here: Depends#3329)  
> (season five episode one pissed me off)  
> (yes millers name is based off of my own nickname)  
> (dont judge me)

**[10:22 AM]**

**gay ass fuck** : im not gay and i can prove it

 **gay ass fuck** added  **y ee h a w**

 

 **y ee h a w** : hey do you ever look at a fucking beetle n think "ID TAKE ITS ENTIRE BODY UP MY VAGINA"

 **mechanical dicks** : okay im fucking sick but not that sick 

 **mechanical dicks** : but do you think a giraffes tongue could fit up your ass

 **gay ass fuck** : this is gina

 **gay ass fuck** : shes my GIRLfriend

 **y ee h a w** : question: dead bodies are cold so like what would that feel like

 **i like candles** : okay no

 **i also like candles** : bell we need to talk 

 **i also like candles** and  **gay ass fuck** 's conversation!

 

 **gay ass fuck** : before you say anything 

 **gay ass fuck** : yes this is a way of coping

 **gay ass fuck** : yes gina knows i want murphy

 **gay ass fuck** : yes im a bad person

 **i also like candles** added  **y ee h a w** to the conversation!

 

 **y ee h a w** : why am i here i thought my job was t

 **y ee h a w** : i mean what

 **gay ass fuck** : its okay she knows

 **i also like candles** : project murphamy is a go

 **y ee h aw** : oh thank god u guys are fuckin perfect 

 **gay ass fuck** : but clarke he doesnt like me back??

 **y ee h a w** : he looks at u w/ fuckin heart eyes dude

 **i also like candles** added  **i like candles** to the conversation!

 

 **i also like candles** : lex here is a matchmaker 

 **i like candles** : honey murphy is very gay for oyu

 **i like candles** : monty and i had this conversation

 **i like candles** : murphy has 0 interest in women 

 **gay ass fuck** : he dated emori?? they has a bad breakup tho

 **i like candles** : murphy hates her guts

 **gay ass fuck** : why??

 **i like candles** : well i mean 

 **i like candles** : uh

 **y ee h a w** : thats for murphy to tell

 **i also like candles** : yeah its bad but hell tell u when hes ready 

 **gay ass fuck** : yeah i understand but still hes not gay

 **y ee h a w** : no hes fucking gay

 **i also like candles** : hes super gay

 **i like candles** : hes gayer than a fuckin clock bell

 **gay ass fuck** : yeah no

 **i like candles** : oh well have u ever asked him?

 **gay ass fuck** : ....no

 **i like candles** : then how tf would U know??

 **gay ass fuck** : fuck u

 

**Finding Nemo**

 

 **insane bird** : raven last time you fucking asked for something it was supplies to make a bomb

 **mechanical dicks** : what can i say, im a classy lady

 **roadside shit** : guys its the middle of the school day where tf are you guys hiding

 **mechanical dicks** : sinclair doesnt care what i do

 **Iceass** : azgeda got out early

 **MountainSeas** : It's lunchtime over here

 **notadrugdealer** : jasper n i are hiding in the supply closet

 **insane bird** : yea were lookin for somethin for raven

 **y ee h a w** : im responsible and have a job

 **water bottle kicker** : and thatd be 

 **y ee h a w** : masterba

 **y ee h a w** : wait no

 **y ee h a w** : sentence canceled

 **water bottle kicker** : WELL THEN

 **y ee h a w** : everything i type needs to sound like it could come from a sexual predator 

 **SaveTheTrees** : I'm on my break

 **bitch no** : im dead

 **i like candles** : same anya

 **i also like candles** : currently outside

 **i also like candles** : im "going to see my mom"

 **Literal Harp** : miller n i are in gym

 **Depends** : yeah jaha doesnt normally mind what we do

 **gay ass fuck** : wait like

 **gay ass fuck** : wells dad?

 **Depends** : no wells

 **Depends** : he works here on a collage thing 

 **Literal Harp** : we all call him jaha tho

 **roadside shit** : im busy in the hospital 

 **y ee h a w** : raven hows wick

 **mechanical dicks** : ew wick

 **mechanical dicks** : still gross 

 **y ee h a w** : oh cool

 **i like candles** : i just punched a wall in pikes class and hes yellin at poor monroe 

 **i like candles** : i feel bad now 

 **i like candles** : im gonna go punch him in the dick

 **water bottle kicker** : jesus lex ur a boxer 

 **SaveTheTrees** : You'll probably kill him 

 **y ee h a w** : what a wacky adventure 

 **gay ass fuck** : lexa dont punch pike

 **i like candles** : too late 

 **y ee h a w** : also a wACKY adVENTURE

 **roadside shit** : why cant i be there

 **gay ass fuck** : because you walked in front of a fuckin car????

 **roadside shit** : tru but i didnt mean to 

 **Iceass** : wtf even im so confused ****

 **IceBitch** : jeesssus 

 **gay ass fuck** : u sure murph

 **y ee h a w** : basically im bells gf and i make sex jokes

 **roadside shit** : raven i stg

 **mechanical dicks** : I MAKE  BALL JOKES

 **roadside shit** : RAVEN

 **mechanical dicks** : BECAUSE I HAVE 3783 OF THME

 **roadside shit** : VFGFHDIFKGNBFDHSJKLDF

 **mechanical dicks** : DAHAHAHAHAHHAHHA SUFFER

 **gay ass fuck** : well then

 **Depends** : tbh i bet murphy would go after raven if he wasnt  1- in the hospital 2- gay

 **roadside shit** : nah i dont want to be fuckin kicked in the dick every time i sleep

 **roadside shit** : also im not gay??

 **insane bird** : lies

 **Literal Harp** : dude miller has an excellent gaydar 

 **water bottle kicker** : yeah if miller thinks ur gay well

 **water bottle kicker** : ur gay

 **y ee h a w** : murphy ur gay 

 **roadside shit** : no 

 **mechanical dicks** : he denies it 

 **i like candles** : (; cunt we all know ur gay

 **i also like candles** : its super fuckin obvious dude

 **Iceass** : im 99% sure you are

 **IceBitch** : roan has a terrible gaydar so i mean

 **IceBitch** : he has to be REALLY sure that you are 

 **y ee h a w** : murphy do you write about piss

 **roadside shit** : wtf ew no i dont even write

 **y ee h a w** : ur gay 

 **roadside shit** : okay you guys arent even trying at this point

 **y ee h a w** : you can be a funky gay murphy

 **gay ass fuck** : did you just call murphy a funky gay 

 **y ee h a w** : yes i did

 **i like candles** : clarke this is ur time honey go

 **i also like candles** : (;

 **funky gay** : i stg if you did what i think you did

 **i also like candles** has changed  **roadside shit** 's nickname to  **funky gay**!

 **funky gay** : goddfuckingdamnit

 **funky gay** : bellamy why tf did u give her admin perms???

 **y ee h a w** : have you ever thought about fucking a dead guy

 **y ee h a w** : i mean would it even have semen still

 **y ee h a w** : also if a zombie came up to u (and asked for consent) 

 **y ee h a w** : walking dead style

 **y ee h a w** : would you not be excited to touch his maggot covered COCK

 **mechanical dicks** : bell wtf have you brought into this peaceful place

 **gay ass fuck** : 1 you broke murphys arm 2 you talked about balls 3 you tried to rob a bank 4 you talked about blowing up another bank 

 **i like candles** has added **thenurse(tm)** to  **Finding Nemo**!

 

 **thenurse(tm)** : heya

 **i like candles** : mochof gon coming jackson

 **thenurse(tm)** : gon course, heda

 **i also like candles** : stop talkin in woodclan language u cucks 

 **mechanical dicks** : lincoln translate 

 **SaveTheTrees** : Fuck you too Raven. Anyways, it's just, "hey". "Thanks for coming, Jackson." "Of course, Commander."

 **mechanical balls** : oh ur abbys assistant  then 

 **thenurse(tm)** : yeah basically 

 **thenurse(tm)** : lexa brought me here even though shes dead and im rather confused 

 **thenurse(tm)** : but im gonna accept it as normal

 **i like candles** : eh its a long story but thats not why i borught u here

 **i like candles** : clarke now

 

 **i also like candles** has created **"were all gay here bell"**!

 **i also like candles** has added **gay ass fuck** , **thenurse(tm)** , **i like candles** , and **y ee h a w** to the group chat!

 

 **gay ass fuck** : o really clarke

 **i also like candles** : calm ur tits theres only people who know here

 **gay ass fuck** : minus jackson

 **i like candles** : bell is gay for murphy

 **i like candles** : there problem solved

 **gay ass fuck** : oi fuck u 

 **thenurse(tm)** : okay why murphy tho

 **gay ass fuck** : bc hes beautiful, handsome, funny, strong, adorable, sweet, amazing, hes fuckin precious, hes absolutely amazing n i love him so much 

 **gay ass fuck** : holy shit am i gay 

 **thenurse(tm)** : huh cool 

 **i like candles** : JUST ADMIT TO HIM THEN

 **y ee h a w** : the worst he can do is say no

 **i also like candles** : and if he does ravenll beat the shit out of him

 **gay ass fuck** : nO 

 **gay ass fuck** : im worried about him bc hes in the HOSPITAL 

 **gay ass fuck** : he says hes not suicidal but im just

 **i like candles** : /ask/

 **i also like candles** : ^^^^

 **thenurse(tm)** : if he is just tell abby n i 

 **thenurse(tm)** : dude were DOCTORS 

 **y ee h a w** : bell hes gay for u juST ASK

 **gay ass fuck** : nO HES NOT

 **thenurse(tm)** : ASK HIM THEN

 **thenurse(tm)** : I DEALT W/ THIS W/ FUCKIN MILLER

 **thenurse(tm)** : hes miserable because he hasnt asked the boy he likes

 **thenurse(tm)** : dont let that happen to you bell

 

**Finding Nemo**

 

 **notadrugdealer** : DFGHDJSKDFGHBFHDS RAVEN PUT THE BOMB DOWN\

 **mechanical dicks** : NO FUCK U

 **roadside shit** : SVFGDHSKDFJRAVENNO

 **insane bird** : HFJDMANIT I TOLD TOYU NO

 **MountainSeas** : YOU GAVE HER FUCKING SUPPLIES TO BUILD A /BOMB/??????

 **Iceass** : UDXKJVFDS

 **IceBitch** : FUCK WERE ALL DEAD

 **Literal Harp** : FUCKFUFCU MONTY HELP

 **Depends** : HFGHFDJSKDFGBHOFUCK

 **notadrugdealer** ; I CANT???? SHES COMIN FOR THE LODGE

 **Depends** : NOT THE LODGE I FUCKING SPENT THREE MONTHS BUILDING IT

 **insane bird** : SHIT WHAT TIME IS IT

 **notadrugdealer:** 2:23

 **mechanical dicks** : YES ILL GET THERE BEFORE ANY OF U 

 **Depends** : FGHDJKFGJ ILL ESCAPPE

 **SaveTheTrees** : VROOM VROOM MOTHERFUCKER

 **water bottle kicker** : LINC SWUNG BY WERE ON OUR WAY TO SAVE THE LODGE

 **i like candles** : IM COMIN T O

 **i also like candles** : VRGEHJKF GOTI T 

 **gay ass fuck** : iLL MEET U GUYS THERE

 **y ee h a w** : GOGOGOGOG

 **Literal Harp** : I CAN GET OUT OF CLASS GIVE ME 3 MINUTES

 **thenurse(tm)** : GIVEME DIRECTIONS I CAN GET THERE

 **i like candles** : ITS BY THE BURNT DOWN HOSPITAL

 **thenurse(tm)** : DFHDJDKFB I HEARD MY CAR JUST REV???

 **i like candles** : THATS ME BITCH HOP THE FUCK IN

 **roadside shit** : NO JACKSON DONT LEAVE ME

 **roadside shit** : U CUNT

 **i like candles** : DONT FUCKING LOOK AT ME LIKE THAT JUMP THE FUCK IN

 **thenurse(tm)** : WELL IM SORRY BUT UR A FUCKIN GHOST

 **i like candles** : YEAH A GHOST WHOS GONNA DRIVE UR ASS OFF THE ROAD IF U DONT GET THE FUCK IN

 **thenurse(tm)** : SORRY IM IN NOW GO

 **gay ass fuck** : IM HALFWAY THERE SPEEDIN UP

 **roadside shit** : NO BELL BE SAFE DAMNIT

 **i like candles** : NYOOOOOOOOOM

 **thenurse(tm)** : SLOWTYHEFUCKDOWN WEREGOING78

 **i also like candles** : LEXA DONT KILL JACKSON STOP TEXTING N DRIVING

 **i like candles** : STOP TEXTIN ME THEN 

 **mechanical dicks** : SINCLAIR IS TAKING FOREVER UFKC

 **SaveTheTrees** : OCTAVIA N I ARRE HERE

 **mechanical dicks** : FUCK IT ILL JUST W AL

 **mechanical dicks** : NVM SINCLAIR JUST GOT HERE VROOM VROOM PRICKS

 **water bottle kicker** : VWTERGHJ WERE HERE WE JUST GOT OUT

 **water bottle kicker** : WHOS READY TO FUCK A BTICH UP

 **roadside shit** : WE NEED TEAMS - TEAM LODGE N TEAM RAVEN

 **water bottle kicker** : LINC N I ARE TL 

 **Depends** : IM FUCKING TL

 **Literal Harp** : TR FOR ME

 **notadrugdealer** : TL

 **insane bird** : TR

 **MountainSeas** : TR

 **Iceass** : TL

 **IceBitch** : TR

 **roadside shit** : IM NOT THERE BUT TL

 **gay ass fuck** : TL

 **thenurse(tm)** : TL

 **i also like candles** : TR

 **i like candles** : TR

 **i like candles** : DIE TL SPY

 **thenurse(tm)** : ENNFOBOONONONONONOONONOONON STOP FUCKIG SPEJREHRFGBNFDDFG

 **i also like candles** : DONT KILL MY MOMS ASSISTANT 

 **gay ass fuck** : OI I SEE LEXA N JACKSON CMON TL FRIEND

 **mechanical dicks** : GUESS WHO 

 

 **mechanical dicks** add  **sigh raven no**

 

 **sigh raven no** : fuck off raven i hate u

 **sigh raven no** : also its sinclair 

 **sigh raven no** : im tl 

 **mechanical dicks** : GASP

 **gay ass fuck** : yES

 **IceBitch** : LEXA CLARKE I SEE U TR FTW

 **Iceass** : WHERES THE TL MEETUP 

 **notadrugdealer** : I JUST SCREAMED FOLLOW THAT

 **Iceass** : HOW>???

 **notadrugdealer** : ECHOLOCATION 

 **insane bird** : TR MWMEBERS FOLLOW ME

 **gay ass fuck** : MILLER UR GONNA BE A A[U

 **Depends** : DECODED GOT IT 

 **Literal Harp** : JASPER IMAX COMING

 **y ee h a w** : SHIT I MISSED THE PART IM BEIN NEUTRAL 

 **water bottle kicker** : FOR THE LODGE!

 **notadrugdealer** : KAWERFGHCJ

 **insane bird** : MONTY HOW COULD YOU

 **notadrugdealer** : CHECK UR POCKKETS BITCH

 **insane bird** : HHHHH ITS  ABUG

 **Literal Harp** : MONTY HOW DARE

 **mechanical dicks** : YES ECHO YES 

 **gay ass fuck** : HOLY SHIT

 **Iceass** : OH FUCK U ECHO I CAN DO THE SAME THING

 **roadside shit** : ????

 **gay ass fuck** : THEY HAVE SWORDS

 **i like candles** : CUNT

 **thenurse(tm)** : HHDFVBDNS LEXA BROGUTH OUT A KATANA SHE JUST SCRWAMED IT 

 **i also like candles** : LEX GO GOOGOGOG

 **MountainSeas** : BOMB INCOMING MOTHER FUCKERS

 **notadrugdealer** : NOT ON MY WATCH

 **water bottle kicker** : ONWARDS LINC

 **SaveTheTrees** : Yeah yeah

 **insane bird** : OH GOD HES LIKE  ABYLYL

 **water bottle kicker** : YES LINCOLND YES

 **gay ass fuck** : MILLER NOW

 **MountainSeas** : HSDFDGHFUCK

 **IceBitch** : UCNT NO

 **Iceass** : SUFFER

 **roadside shit** : tbh rn might be a cool time to admit im gay cause itll be swept up in the commotion 

 **water bottle kicker** : UIKQCHGH IOGOOGOGO

 **i like candles** : OH FUCKING REALLY OCTAVIA

 **i like candles** : U CANT HIT A GHOST

 **water bottle kicker** : BUT I CAN HIT UR GIRLFRIEND **:**

 **gay ass fuck** : oh yeah same murph

 **SaveTheTrees** : SINCLAIR NOW BOMB

 **sigh raven no** : KANBOOM QUICNWED

 **mechanical dicks** : SHTI

 **Literal Harp** : YEA TAKE THAT MILLER

 **y ee h a w** : im just standin over here and ive heard 20+ explosions in the last thirty seconds theres a lotta yelling 

 **roadside shit** : hah i knew it

 **i also like candles** : BITCH DID YOU JUST PUNCH ME

 **Depends** : FUCK YOU HARPER LET ME OUT OF THIS GODDAMN CLOSET

 **Literal Harp** : GUESS UR GONNA HAVE TO COME OUT TJHEN

 **MountainSeas** : SHITTHEYCAPTURED ME I WONT ELL THEM SHIT

 **insane bird** : NFIMAYA

 **notadrugdealer** : TAKE THAT

 **gay ass fuck** : stfu pfft- okay so um- would you like to

 **roadside shit** : fuck yes

 **mechanical dicks** : GIVE US MAYA FOR MILLER

 **Depends** : DONT DO IT ITS A TRAP

 **Iceass** : JUS DREIN JUS DAUN

 **IceBitch** : MILLERS GONE FUCK

 **mechanical dicks** : DFGHDSJ

 **insane bird** : BOOM BANG VOOM

 **notadrugdealer** : SINCLAIR DISARM THATEGRFGDH

 **gay ass fuck** : so you wanna go to the city of light? the coffee shop?

 **Depends** : VROOOMMMM

 **IceBitch** : HES GOT THE CAR

 **thenurse(tm)** : HDHFGDSHJKDFB HELP

 **sigh raven no** : DISARMED IM GOIN AFTER JACKSON

 **i like candles** : BAM

 **i also like candles** : DOUBLE TEAMED

 **i also like candles** : GIMMIE A HIGH FIVE LEX

 **water bottle kicker** : NOT SO FAST DGFBH

 **MountainSeas** : CLARKE U\KJUST WENT TDOWN FUK

 **notadrugdealer** : DFBVBDJKS HEKOGHELPHELPHELPY ECHO

 **IceBitch** : CORNERED CUNT

 **Iceass** : NOPE

 **thenurse(tm)** : THANK U SINCLAIR 

 **roadside shit** : yeah sounds good

 **mechanical dicks** : NTGRHEUIFJB MILLER WATCH OUT

 **gay ass fuck** : ill take u when ur out of the hospital 

 **roadside shit** : tomorrow 

 **y ee h a w** : (^; 


	9. your mess is mine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> bell gets stuck in tree  
> murphamy happens more and more  
> gay nerds

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> probs something i worked really hard on (this chapter) i hope u guys like it!!!  
> ("mess is mine" by vance joy is fuckinGASDHFJK)  
> "worked really hard" means i like it a lot tbh  
> <3

[Conversation between  **roadside shit** ( **funky gay** ) and  **gay ass fuck** ( **HistoryNerd** ,  **anfry** )!] 

 

 **roadside shit** : so bell 

 **gay ass fuck** : ? 

 **roadside shit** : why me

 **gay ass fuck** : what do you mean ? 

 **roadside shit** : why do you want me 

 **gay ass fuck** : because youre absolutely amazing, perfect, smart, funny, caring, adorable, sweet. ur a fucking lovable sweetheart 

 **roadside shit** : wtf i have never heard those words in a sentence before 

 **gay ass fuck** : well its true

 **roadside shit** : im not sure

 **roadside shit** : my mom would beg to differ 

 **gay ass fuck** : thats because your mom doesnt deserve you

 **roadside shit** : yeah well she couldnt now

 **roadside shit** : shes dead

 **gay ass fuck** : im sorry murphy

 **roadside shit** : nothin to be sorry for 

 **gay ass fuck** : sigh montys screamin at me n i just

 **roadside shit** : gO

 **roadside shit:** go n storm the trs so hard they fuckin SHIT THEMSELVES

 **gay ass fuck** : ily so much <3 

 **roadside shit** : ily2 bell <3 

 

**Finding Nemo**

 

 **Depends** : EFGHJFBDSJDFHELEPHLEPHELPHRLPEROANROANARRORUTGHBSNMDFG

 **Iceass** : WHAT

 **Depends** : ROVERROVWREOGEOGROVEOR

 **thenurse(tm)** : shit the rover is 

 **gay ass fuck** : NOPE

 **sigh raven no** : 1

 **sigh raven no** : 2

 **sigh raven no** : 3

 **thenurse(tm)** : BOOM

 **IceBitch** : oH NO YOU DONT ROAN

 **Iceass** : oh but i do 

 **i like candles** : OCTAVIA UR GONNA DIE

 **i like candles** : SDCFVGHK

 **i also like candles** : NYOOOM

 **sigh raven no** : CUHGFDJK CUNT.

 **y ee h a w** : is no one going to talk about what just happened 

 **y ee h a w** : cool 

 **water bottle kicker** : BASHDFJ LINCOLN BASH LINCOLN R

 **SaveTheTrees** : cHARGE

 **Literal Harp** : FUCKUFCKFUCKFUCKUFCKUFCK MILLER GET UR ASS BACK HERE

 **water bottle kicker** : U WANT UR GIRLFREIND BACK HUH JASPER

 **MountainSeas** : DONT DO IT ITS A TRAP

 **insane bird** : KAW

 **mechanical dicks** : BANGBANG BITCH

 **sigh raven no** : holy shit jacKSON NO

 **sigh raven no** : GOD WHY AM I LETTING CHILDREN DO THIS

 **mechanical dicks** : stfu ur like 

 **mechanical dicks** : 30 

 **mechanical dicks** : quiet, jacapo 

 **sigh no raven** : dont u fuckin call me that 

 **gay ass fuck** : monty help 

 **notadrugdealer** : jesus christ bell i dont even 

 **insane bird** : OPFTD HOW

 **thenurse(tm)** : BELLAMY BLAKE GET YOUR FUCKING ASS DOWN FROM THAT TREE

 **gay ass fuck** : hh tryin

 **roadside shit** : wtf is bell doin 

 **mechanical dicks** : [hes_just_only_hanging_on.jpg] 

 **roadside shit** : mister blake 

 **gay ass fuck** : save ur shit murphy i am

 **roadside shit** : about to die

 **i like candles** : aw theyre bonding

 **i also like candles** : <3 

 **water bottle kicker** : BELLAMY WTF GET UR ASS DOWN

 **SaveTheTrees** : Do you need my help?

 **Iceass** : i can ram the rover into the tree

 **IceBitch** : no its too close to the lodge 

 **Depends** : ^

 **Literal Harp** : hm

 **y ee h a w** : what an issue we have here

 **roadside shit** : u all better make sure he gets his anus down from tjhat tree 

 **gay ass fuck** : aw didnt know you cared

 **roadside shit** : i dont but i mean you feed me so 

 **roadside shit** : id dislike being homeless so dont die

 **Depends** : wtf are we gonna do

 **sigh raven no** : wtf is happening

 **y ee h a w** : ok so

 **y ee h a w** : GAY ASS FUCK is with his tree and the GANG is telling him not to be a tree fucker

 **Depends** : close enough

 **y ee h a w** : dickman stuck in tree

 **Depends** : yes

 **water bottle kicker** : thats surprisingly accurate gina 

 **SaveTheTrees** : So, Bell. You want my help?

 **gay ass fuck** : promise not to end me 

 **roadside shit** : dont kill him linc

 **Iceass** : i mean why not

 **IceBitch** : bell pays for mcdondal fridays 

 **LiteralHarp** : tru

 **i like candles** : i could totally scale that tree and push u off

 **i also like candles** : lexa no

 **i like candles** : but

 **thenurse(tm)** : NO

 **sigh raven no** : hm we could 

 **mechanical dicks** : use my bomb

 **sigh raven no** : <\--

 **insane bird** changed  **insane bird** 's nickname to  **drugdealer jazzy**! 

 **drugdealer jazzy** : much better

 **drugdealer jazzy** : also have fun bell

 **notadrugdealer** : i could get u down

 **roadside shit** : yeah monty is like fuckin

 **roadside shit** : really good at getting high

 **roadside shit** : in both ways

 **SaveTheTrees** : Bell, who do you want help from?

 **notadrugdealer** : tbh ID  choose linc

 **water bottle kicker** : same tbh?? i mean hes styrong

 **drugdealer jazzy** : i mean so are you monty

 **MountainSeas** : Jonty confirmed

 **drugdealer jazzy** : wait no

 **notadrugdealer** : (;

 **drugdealer jazzy** : MAYA YOU SHOULDNT BE SO COOL W/ ME GOIN OFF TO DSATE MONTY

 **drugdealer jazzy** : not that i am (for i am not gay) but still 

 **MountainSeas** : (; 

 **y ee h a w** : ahahha yay ships

 **y ee h a w** : okay but now we should get our buddy down 

 **gay ass fuck** : thatd be nice 

 **SaveTheTrees** : I'm here, give me a second.

 **i like candles** : hm

 **i also like candles** : babe no

 **i like candles** : c:

 **Iceass** : why do i feel as if lexa is going to kill someone

 **thenurse(tm)** : probably bc she is 

 **IceBitch** : thats a shame 

 **gay ass fuck** : dont kill me

 **SaveTheTrees** : Okay, Bell. Jump into my arms.

 **gay ass fuck** : WTF NO

 **roadside shit** : lINCOLN

 **water bottle kicker** : lincoln dont kill my brother 

 **mechanical dicks** : i mean i could use his bones

 **mechanical dicks** : just sayin 

 **sigh raven no** : raven no

 **thenurse(tm)** : no raven fuck off 

 **gay ass fuck** : if i die murphy is getting my couch

 **i like candles** : murphamy confirmed 

 **y ee h a w** : (^; 

 **roadside shit** : lmao u guys are still doin that 

 **i also like candles** : murphy are you okjay

 **roadside shit** : ?

 **i like candles** : you never use "lmao"

 **mechanical dicks** : did the hospital drug you

 **drugdealer jazzy** : GOVERNMENT SPIES

 **roadside shit** : yeah ive been drugggged

 **roadside shit** : bnklelilhejkledhp

 **gay ass fuck** : murphy sleep

 **i like candles** : i agree w/ bell 

 **i also like candles** : i agree w/ the 2 gays

 **gay ass fuck** : saying that im gay over and over again doesnt make me gay 

 **i like candles** : thats what i did to clarke and it worked fijne

 **IceBitch** : hm 

 **Iceass** : i ship it

 

[Conversation between  **roadside shit** ( **funky gay** ) and  **gay ass fuck** ( **HistoryNerd** ,  **anfry** )!]

 

 **roadside shit** : be. careful. 

 **gay ass fuck** : im fine murph

 **roadside shit** : are you sure about that

 **gay ass fuck** : yES

 **gay ass fuck** : linc is screamin at me to jump hhh give me a sec

 **roadside shit** : bell i love you very much and if you die and or injure yourself while doing this, i will kill you 

 **gay ass fuck** : gee thanks honey i love you too

 

**Finding Nemo**

**mechanical dicks** : is he still alive im too fucking SHORT

 **water bottle kicker** : up ya go

 **mechanical dicks** : HOLY SHIT O UR TALL

 **i like candles** : aw theyre bodning 

 **Iceass** : (;

 **water bottle kicker** : dont even

 **SaveTheTrees** : O, honey, I will drop your brother if you don't put down that bomb. 

 **gay ass fuck** : EXCUSE ME

 **mechanical dicks** : linc im TEACHING her

 **notadrugdealer** : wrong??

 **roadside shit** : dont u drop bell 

 **i like candles** : murphamy 

 **roadside shit** : dont hurt bell

 **i like candles** : murphamy

 **roadside shit** : dont kill bell

 **i like candles** : hm

 **i like candles** : semi-murphamy 

 **roadside shit** : better

 **drugdealer jazzy** : we all know u two are in love

 **notadrugdealer** : i agree

 **MountainSeas** : Same

 **SaveTheTrees** : Me, too. 

 **water bottle kicker** : 100% 

 **roadside shit** : honestly id ship it if i wasnt part of it

 **roadside shit** : bell makes heart eyes at murphy

 **roadside shit** : murphy waves 

 **i also like candles** : OCBGHJWK CONFIRMED 

 **gay ass fuck** : OW

 **SaveTheTrees** : DGUSDVFH JDSORRY SOPASNDSMDNF

 **water bottle kicker** : YOU DROPPED MY BROTHER BUT HAHGEFRHSJDHFG HDJSKJDBFV M YURHPYASDFGHBGFD MURPHAMY

 **i like candles** :L HSOKY HSHGIUTTTHJRTYH

 **IceBitch** : RAVEN SGDHJFGB ISDFHAHAHAHHAGSFHUJAKSDBVFGHJK NSMURPHY

 **Iceass** : HHHAHGSDFGHJS COINFIMRIED MUEPHAMY MYRPHAMY 

 **gay ass fuck** : hm 

 **roadside shit** : oh cool i killed them 

 **roadside shit** : tbh i just wanted to see lincoln drop you

 **gay ass fuck** : asshole

 **roadside shit** : <3

 **SaveTheTrees** : MY #1 SHIP HAS BECOME CANON???

 **thenurse(tm)** : GDFHGDJSDFB YES

 **y ee h a w** : (^;

 **Depends** : I AM HAVING FUCKING ORGASMS IN MY EYES FROM READING THIS

 **notadrugdealer** : HHHHH MURPHAMY MURPHPHAMYHHHHDHFJS COMGORUCNED CONFIRMED

 **mechanical dicks** : GFHJSKHDFB OMG OMGOMGBSHJDBF MYR[AHYFGH

 **Literal Harp** : sigh u guys ruined the camp

 **gay ass fuck** : (; 

 **roadside shit** : good

 **MountainSeas** : IM DYING

 **drugdealer jazzy** : DGJJGJGJGHDJFHHSHDAIHRGWUISJDNBHJADNBFGHDJSBEVGHJS MURPHAMTY

 **i also like candles** : CELEBRATE CELEBRATE 

 **gay ass fuck** : c:

 **roadside shit** : so that coffee shop yeah

 **gay ass fuck** : yeah i snuck out comin to get u 

 **roadside shit** : thank fucking god

 **Iceass** : I AM SPMASING

 **SaveTheTrees** : HHHHHH GRFHSJDFV FUCK CLEXA RN I LVE MRFGUIOYHADM YROPHY

 **water bottle kicker** : GASHDJ ^^^^^

 **sigh raven no** : JUST CAME BACK BUT MUR[HAMY CONFIRMED??? THANKLST=RFGUHFDJSKL GOOD YES

 **roadside shit** : what a nice day 

 **gay ass fuck** : i know right


	10. everyone: murphamy confirmed?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> raven well  
> yeah.  
> uh  
> its just an interesting chapter tbh  
> (i hate myself)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> im sorry

**sigh raven no** : guys its 4:19

 **mechanical dicks** : GDHJKS MURPHAMY

 **i like candles** : wgedfhjBMNRFH

 **water bottle kicker** : hHHHH MURPHAMY MURPHAMY MURPHAMY 

 **mechanical dicks:** GAYGAYGAYGAY=====MUROHAMY PMAGTHT YESCINFIRNEDMED

 **i also like candles** : HHRHHFHHHH MURPHAMY

 **gay ass fuck** : am here friend 

 **roadside shit** : ew dont call me friend 

 **mechanical dicks** : IM GONNA FUCKING ANNOUCNE THISDBFSK EVERYWHERE TO EVERYONE HHEGRFHJ MURPHAMY??

 **Literal Harp** : SPAM IT EVERYWHERE

 **Depends** : HAGSDFGCHJKL MURPHAMY IM FUCKNG FYING THEY DIDI IT THEY ADMITTED IT THEYTHEYJTYE YES

 **thenurse(tm)** : MURPHAMY CONFIRMED

 **SaveTheTrees** : MMURPHAMY MURPHAMY IT'S A THING MURPHAMY IT IS A  FUCKING THING IT IS HAPPEND 

 **water bottle kicker** : CANON 

 **sigh raven no** : GGGG 4:20

 **drugdealer jazzy** : HOLY FUCK ITS HAPPENED IT IS A THING HEIOOFGB MURPHAMY IS TRUE 

 **MountainSeas** : GSDHFJK YESTHANK GOD

 **Iceass** : HHHSGDFDHJFUCKUFKCUFKCUKFI MDYING

 **IceBitch** : FUCK. YES. MURPHAMY. 

 **Depends** : DGFHJSDB MONTY GET UR GAY ASS OVER HERE

 **notadrugdealer** : WHAT

 **notadrugdealer** : OH HOLY SHTIYHEDJGHBFDYS MURPHAMY MURPHAMY MURPHAMY MURPHAMY MURPHAMY MURPJAMY

 **gay ass fuck** : nyoom

 **roadside shit** : stop it youll get us killed

 **water bottle kicker** : MURPHY IS DATING MY BROTHER OH MY GOD

 **mechanical dicks** : THEYRE GONNA GET FUCKING MARRIED

 **mechanical dicks** : WEAR MATCHING BLACK SUTOS 

 **mechanical dicks** : FUCK IT IM ON MY WAY TO BUY THEM FUCKIN RINGS'

 **y ee h a w** : what a nice day in hell 

 **i also like candles** : POSTED IN THE MAIN FUCKING SCHOOL CHAT BITCHES

 **i like candles** : BRYAN IS GOING WILD

 **IceBitch** : LINK 

 **i also like candles** : rAVEN GET THE SUITS AND TIES AND RINGS WE ARE PREPARING A  W E D D I N G 

 **mechanical dicks** : CYOOOOM OMW 

 **sigh raven no** : JACKSON GET IN MY CAR WERE VROOMUN OUT'

 **thenurse(tm)** : NYOOOOOM

 **Iceass** : IM CARPOOLIN W/ ECHO LINC AND OCTAVIA ROOM FOR 2 MORE

 **notadrugdealer** : HOPPIN IN W JAS

 **MountainSeas** : CLARKE LEXA GET UR ASSES IN MY CAR 

 **i also like candles** : LEX IS IN AND HOLY FUCK IS ARKADIAS CHAT FUCKING DITYN

 **SaveTheTrees** : JESUS ITS FUCKIGN 

 **water bottle kicker** : THEYRE FUCKIGN PETITIONING HOLKY SHIT THEYRGEWBDF GOFUNDME 

 **mechanical dicks** : HARPER MILLER GET IN WERE FUCKING GOING 

 **water bottle kicker** : 100 DOLLARS

 **gay ass fuck** : wtf

 **roadside shit** : im literally 17

 **y ee h a w** : hm 

 **notadrugdealer** : ON OUR WAY TO THE RING STORE

 **notadrugdealer** : RAVENS GOIN TO GET THE SUITS

 **notadrugdealer** : THE CLEXA + MAYA GROUP ARE GETTIN IT ALL SET UP IN THE LODGE V2

 **roadside shit** : interesting 

 **mechanical dicks** : FUCK COPS

 **Literal Harp** : STOP GOING 80+ IN A FUCKING SCHOOL ZONE

 **mechanical dicks** : NO

 **Depends** : DSFGWDSF

 **roadside shit** : how cute

 **gay ass fuck** : theyre killing each other over us murphy

 **roadside shit** : i know this

 **gay ass fuck** : and thats "cute" to you

 **roadside shit** : not cuter than u 

 **gay ass fuck** : better

 **water bottle kicker** : HDFJKABFJEDBSHMURPHY CALLEDBELL CUTERFVHSJAKDFGBLINCOLDN

 **SaveTheTrees** : DHHHDHDHDHHDHHDHHHDHDMUROHAMY MUROHAMY MURPHAY CALLED BELL CUTE HHH MUROHAMY HRIOSNH

 **mechanical dicks** : I HIT A TREEW BTY IT WAS WOTHTY IT OMG MURPHAY BYPOU CALLED BELL CUTE ONHMHNBED F=IMF UFCKING DYE THE THIE THITHEI SHIP ITS FUCKING REAL HGDHJKSD OHMG


	11. hm lets see here. nope thats a dead thing

**roadside shit** : unrelated but i just found a dead bird

 **gay ass fuck** : ew wtf dont pick it up 

 **water bottle kicker** : holy shit raven just crashed into a tree im worried

 **Literal Harp** : hm 

 **Depends** : ow 

 **Iceass** : sigh ofc she did 

 **Ice Bitch** : good concern roan 

 **gay ass fuck** : harper, miller, raven 

 **gay ass fuck** : are you guys a-okay 

 **roadside shit** : "a-okay"

 **mechanical dicks** : YEP!

 **SaveTheTrees** : I'm concerned

 **i like candles** : okay so like raven isnt dead

 **i like candles** : which is p good

 **i also like candles** : are any of you injured

 **sigh raven no** : if so ive got a doctor in my car

 **thenurse(tm)** : thatd be me!

 **i also like candles** : yes that would indeed be jackson 

 **MountainSeas** : God you guys cannot leave for three seconds before one of you dies

 **MountainSeas** : No offense Lexa n Clarke

 **i like candles** : none taken 

 **y ee h a w** : hm 

 **y ee h a w** : drown asshole

 **gay ass fuck** : DHSJAKDFH

 **roadside shit** : dont kill my boyfriend

 **water bottle kicker** : gina no we still have to get them legally married

 **y ee h a w** : oh sorry

 **roadside shit** : raven are you alright

 **mechanical dicks** : yeah. harper is fine and miller has a bloody nose

 **notadrugdealer** : oh no miller are you okay? 

 **Depends** : yeah im alright 

 **drugdealer jazzy** : yea dont die 

 **MountainSeas** : What my boyfriend said 

 **notadrugdealer** : same 

 **notadrugdealer** : wait no

 **MountainSeas** : (; 

 **notadrugdealer** : asshole 

 **MountainSeas** : You know it 

 **roadside shit** : wtf theres another dead bird

 **roadside shit** : apparently birds dont like coffee shops or smth 

 **SaveTheTrees** : Or they got killed 

 **water bottle kicker** : youre all sunshines and rainbows arent you

 **SaveTheTrees** : Of course

 **gay ass fuck** : huh

 **mechanical dicks** : also my car is now fixed and im going to buy you guys suits

 **roadside shit** : i will end you if you do that 

 **gay ass fuck** : isnt it 

 **gay ass fuck** : "touch me again and ill end you. in a non criminal way"? 

 **roadside shit** : you know me so well 

 **i also like candles** : he was goin through his edgy emo teen years and he hasnt left 

 **roadside shit** : stfu 

 **roadside shit** : but there are dead birds everywhere i stg

 **y ee h a w** : eat their hearts

 **gay ass fuck** : wtf no 

 **y ee h a w** : yea never listen to anything i say ever

 **mechanical dicks** : oh my god miller no

 **notadrugdealer** : ???

 **mechanical dicks** : he turned on fucking peacock by katy perry

 **Literal Harp** : im fucking done

 **i like candles** : MMM MY /JAM/

 **Iceass** : ew no

 **drugdealer jazzy** : hm 

 **MountainSeas** : Mood

 **Literal Harp** : miller i am going to punch you in the face

 **Literal Harp** : HES FUCKING BLARING IT

 **thenurse(tm)** : sounds like miller is gonna need my help soon 

 **sigh raven no** : probs

 **MountainSeas** : hey guys its like 4:45

 **gay ass fuck** : GAME NIGHT GAME NIGHT GAME NIGHT

 **water bottle kicker** : *gay night

 **mechanical dicks** : id hug you rn if i wasnt driving and about to punch miller in his balls

 **water bottle kicker** : love you too <3

 **mechanical dicks** : <3

 **roadside shit** : what so are we all goin to ravens now

 **y ee h a w** : wtf is gay night

 **y ee h a w** : sounds fun

 **water bottle kicker** : it is

 **SaveTheTrees** : Yep, Murphy. Come along, gays

 **i like candles** : lets go maya

 **MountainSeas** : Hop in

 **sigh raven no** : cool jackson and i are comin

 **thenurse(tm)** : wait we are

 **SaveTheTrees** : We're here. We weren't very far away, Raven. We need the keys.

 **notadrugdealer** : i can unlock it when roan gets there

 **Iceass** : drivin there rn

 **drugdealer jazzy** : i think we just passed murphamy 

 **gay ass fuck** : correction: bell and murphy 

 **Ice Bitch** : murphamy

 **y ee h a w** : murphamy

 **water bottle kicker** : murphamy

 **SaveTheTrees** : Murphamy

 **MountainSeas** : Murphamy

 **i like candles** : its never gonna be "bell and murphy"

 **i also like candles** : ^

 **roadside shit** : thats another dead thing

 **gay ass fuck** : sigh

 **mechanical dicks** : nyoom

 **mechanical dicks** : here

 **i like candles** : let the gay night begin


	12. gay gaym night

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> gay gaym night

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i listened to "peacock" the entire time i made this chapter
> 
> i hate myself (;
> 
> aahh sorry for the shorter chapters!! ill be uploading at least three of iwry (i wont regret you) and this on saturday!! <3

**i like candles** : what are we doin for gay gaym night

 **gay ass fuck** : ddg

 **roadside shit** : *duck duck goose

 **gay ass fuck** : d. d. g. 

 **mechanical dicks** : stop arguing w/ ur boyfriend

 **y ee h a w** : physical activity 

 **y ee h a w** : hm

 **y ee h a w** : im going to watch from the sidelines and throw rocks at you guys

 **drugdealer jazzy** : oh my god miller tURN IT OFF

 **notadrugdealer** : omg MILLER

 **Literal Harp** : gina will kick your teeth in

 **y ee h a w** : if your face is in kicking range im going to kick it

 **Depends** : I WANNA SEE UR PEACOCK COCK COCK 

 **thenurse(tm)** : dude i dont want to carry ur body to the morgue 

 **thenurse(tm)** : turn it off

 **Depends** : NO

 **Literal Harp** : im going to kill you

 **Iceass** : i will drown you

 **Ice Bitch** : i will end you

 **mechanical dicks** : gtfo of my yard

 **sigh raven no** : i cant even w/ you guys

 **water bottle kicker** : MILLER I AM GOING TO BASH UR HEAD IN

 **SaveTheTrees** : Miller, I will tell the guy you like that you like him.

 **Depends** :  _you wouldnt_

 **SaveTheTrees** : But I would. 

 **Depends** : fine im turning it off

 **sigh raven** **no** : thank god

 **roadside shit** : hm

 **i also like candles** : nyoom 

 **gay ass fuck** : ow lexa was that u 

 **Literal Harp** : OW

 **thenurse(tm)** : o shit miller get ur gay ass over here i still have to help ur broken nose 

 **Depends** : how do you know im gay

 **thenurse(tm)** : thats a stupid question NOW GET UR GAY ASS OVER HERE

 **Depends** : asshole

 **notadrugdealer** : jazzy get over here

 **drugdealer jazzy** : woty

 **MountainSeas** : jonty

 **notadrugdealer** : no

 **Depends** : (;

 **thenurse(tm)** : HOLD STILL

 **Depends** : OW????

 **thenurse(tm)** : I SAID HOLD STILL

 **mechanical dicks** : aw theyre bonding

 **roadside shit** : gay night turned into finding ur gay partner night

 **water bottle kicker** : accurate 

 **i like candles** : boom water balloons

 **i like candles** : youre welcome 

 **i also like candles** : fuck YEA

 **thenurse(tm)** : dont you fucking move miller

 **thenurse(tm)** : nathan i stg i see you

 **thenurse(tm)** : lexa stop him 

 **i like candles** : done

 **Depends** : LET GO

 **sigh raven no** : raven you have a job

 **mechanical dicks** : so do you

 **sigh raven no** : fair point

 **drugdealer jazzy** : WHY CANT I GET JUST ONE KISS

 **notadrugdealer** : FUCK YEA BLARE ADD IT UP

 

 **thenurse(tm)** and  **Depends** ' conversation! 

 **thenurse(tm)** : asshole get back here

 **Depends** : rude

 **thenurse(tm)** : cunt get back here

 **Depends** : still rude

 **Depends** : fine ill come over u dick

 **thenurse(tm)** : thank you, gay

 **Depends** : asshole

 **thenurse(tm)** : you know it

 

**Finding Nemo**

**notadrugdealer** : NUOTIHEWDNF ROVER

 **mechanical dicks** : shit man 

 **sigh raven no** : god fuck

 **MountainSeas** : I can't even 

 **roadside shit** : sigh 

 **gay ass fuck** : lexa did you do this

 **i like candles** : maybe

 **Literal Harp** : FUCKING TURN THE GODDAMN KATY PERRY SONG OFF

 **Depends** : jackson can i 

 **thenurse(tm)** : no

 **Depends** : but

 **i like candles** : NO

 


	13. more gay

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> kAWKAW  
> a lot of gay

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> BIRTHDAY POST AGHSDFJKGL
> 
> aaaHHH GAYS
> 
> and zeke! from uh. season five. alright im not gonna add him for a bit bc spoilers but i mean
> 
> hes fucking cool so far i love him. he better be Gay

**gay ass fuck** : put peacock on i kill you

 **Depends** : jackson already fuckin did that

 **thenurse(tm)** : fuck u 

 **Depends** : you would

 **thenurse(tm)** : hm

 **Depends** : DFHJDKLS

 **notadrugdealer** : !!! mackson??? jiller???? nackson?? jathan??

 **thenurse(tm)** : what do you think, honey 

 **Depends** : STP[SHDFKP STOPb

 **thenurse(tm)** : idk i say jathan 

 **mechanical dicks** : jathan is good

 **Literal Harp** : yea its good

 **y ee h a w** : oh cool

 **thenurse(tm)** : hear that. honey. we have a ship name now

 **notadrugdealer** : you two are perfect <3 

 **MountainSeas** : I ship it

 **SaveTheTrees** : c': my children are growing up

 **gay ass fuck** : <3 love my gay boys

 **roadside shit** : :(

 **gay ass fuck** : <3 love my murphmuffin

 **roadside shit** : <3

 **gay ass fuck** : <3 

 **water bottle kicker** : i support ur gay parties 

 **i like candles** : i love u fuckin gays

 **i also like candles** : and she does mean gays 

 **Iceass** : sigh u guys are fuckin so gay i love it

 **IceBitch** : yes

 **Depends** : i am fucking spasm-ing 

 **thenurse(tm)** : i can fix that

 **sigh raven no** : yay gay!!

 **y ee h a w** : oh hi sinclair

 **y ee h a w** : i forgot about u no offense 

 **sigh raven no** : none taken

 **mechanical dicks** : yea my boss is Cool(tm)

 **sigh raven no** : yes

 **MountainSeas** : Hm

 **notadrugdealer** : i can see the gays through the window

 **roadside shit** : i escaped and am gettin shit at the store

 **roadside shit** : explain whats goin on

 **notadrugdealer** : okay so

 **notadrugdealer** : miller, jackson, maya, jasper, raven, roan, and sinclair are inside. living room i believe. lexa, clarke, echo, harper, lincoln, and octavia are all out here with me. i think lexa is out here

 **i like candles** : yea im out here

 **notadrugdealer** : fuck yea i got it

 **Literal Harp** : so the gays are everywhere

 **drugdealer jazzy** : yea

 **i also like candles** : basically yeah

 **notadrugdealer** : wait wheres bell

 **gay ass fuck** : w/ my gay boyfriend

 **roadside shit** : also w/ my gay boyfriend

 **water bottle kicker** : MURPHAMY

 **mechanical dicks** : fuck yes

 **SaveTheTrees** : my OTHER gay children 

 **thenurse(tm)** : alright fuck u nathan i fixed ur broken nose now stop grumbling 

 **Literal Harp** :  _ **TURN. PEACOCK. FUCKING, OFF.**_

**IceBitch** : GINA I CAN TRIP HIM

 **thenurse(tm)** : nO I JUST FIXED HIM 

 **thenuse(tm)** : fuck we are supposed to be dating hONEY GET UR ASS ABCK OVER HERE

 **water bottle kicker** : oooh damn jackson boi is pissed

 **SaveTheTrees** : say "boi" again you die

 **water bottle kicker** : boi

 **SaveTheTrees** : :(

 **gay ass fuck** : omg i just met another (i think) gay

 **y ee h a w** : NAME PLS

 **gay ass fuck** : zeke 

 **roadside shit** : add hikm to the chat??

 **Iceass** : FUCK YEA

 

 **gay ass fuck** added  **mystery engineer** to **Finding Nemo**

 

 **mystery engineer** : dude we just met at the store wtf i a

 **mystery engineer** : CLARKE

 **i also like candles** : HOLY SHIT ITS THAT ZEKE OMG

 **i also like candles** : hello 


	14. oh hi there miles

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> everyone loves monty

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> asdf sorry for the late update!!

**mystery engineer** : why am i here bellamy i 

 **gay ass fuck** : you look gay to me

 **mystery engineer** : WTF????

 **roadside shit** : thats not a bad thing

 **i like candles** : clarke honey how do you know him

 **i also like candles** : his friends slashed my tires and beat the shit out of me

 **i also like candles** : and he was kinda there and tried to help 

 **mystery engineer** : yea sorry about that 

 **i also like candles** : so what were you shopping for?

 **mechanical dicks** : ^

 **mystery engineer** : ...bread

 **gay ass fuck** : hop on in zeke

 **mystery engineer** : its actually miles

 **gay ass fuck** : oh sorry

 **roadside shit** : do we tell him about lexa

 **i like candles** : hi im a dead gay ghost nice to meet you

 **mystery engineer** : wtf

 **y ee h a w** : hi miles, i think im in love with you. i have a strong connection to you and do not wish to be apart from you ever. i am in love with you. 

 **gay ass fuck** : gina be nice to the man 

 **y ee h a w** : fine

 **y ee h a w** : satan wants to join god's orgy party but god denies him so satan starts his own poopy gay party

 **thenurse(tm)** : 1- hey miles 2- miller turn the fucking song off or i kill you

 **Depends** : but u love me 

 **thenurse(tm)** : asshole youll die by my hands

 **Iceass** : youve made a mistake

 **mystery engineer** : i agree

 **mechanical dicks** : a fellow engineer i see

 **sigh raven no** : raven is one of the bests, absolutely brilliant 

 **mechanical dicks** : i once shot rockets at the school 

 **sigh raven no** : shes brilliant but she likes destroying things

 **mechanical dicks** : much better

 **i also like candles** : yea im dating a dead ghost 

 **i also like candles** : its amazing

 **drugdealer jazzy** : hey im jasper

 **notadrugdealer** : im monty!

 **MountainSeas** : Hello! I'm Maya!

 **SaveTheTrees** : I'm Lincoln 

 **water bottle kicker** : im octavia, local badass 

 **roadside shit** : im murphy

 **gay ass fuck** : bellamy, as you already know

 **IceBitch** ; names echo

 **Iceass** : im roan

 **Literal Harp** : im harper 

 **Depends** : miller

 **thenurse(tm)** : hey! im jackson! i am a doctor:tm:

 **sigh raven no** : im sinclair 

 **i like candles** : and id be lexa

 **mystery engineer** : cool

 **mystery engineer** : nice to meet all of you

 **mechanical dicks** : okay i can stop being nice- MILLER  TURN THE FUCKING SONG OFF BEFORE I KILL YOU

 **thenurse(tm)** : ^^^^^^

 **water bottle kicker** : someone is going to die

 **gay ass fuck** : nYOOM

 **roadside shit** : WHERE DID YOU GET A CAR FROM

 **gay ass fuck** : pff idk 

 **mystery engineer** : i

 **sigh raven no** : RAVEN PUT THE KNIFE DOWN DAMNIT 

 **Depends** : bITCH TRY ME 

 **i like candles** : die

 **Depends** : AGSHDFUIG NOT FAIR ASSHOLE UR A GHOST W/ WATER BALLONS 

 **i like candles** : hell yeah i am 

 **Literal Harp** : BURN

 **i also like candles** : SEIZE HIM

 **Depends** : oh shit

 **Depends** : UFCKUFCK JAXKSON JACKSON HELP

 **thenurse(tm)** : i might just join them

 **Depends** : nNNOOOO\

 **sigh raven no** : we have him cornered! 

 **mechanical dicks** : no more peacocking for you asshole

 **y ee h a w** : die peacock fucker

 **Iceass** : (;<

 **IceBitch** : this is semi-cruel 

 **i like candles** : nah were just. tying his hands. and leaving him w/ jackson

 **notadrugdealer** : pretty cruel

 **drugdealer jazzy** : no offense but jackson just talks about medical shit and has a monotone voice

 **thenurse(tm)** : that i do

 **MountainSeas** : Don't die, Miller

 **Depends** : fuck you 

 **mechanical dicks** : he has he hands tied how did you

 **Depends** : skill

 **i also like candles** : sigh

 **mystery engineer** : im concerned

 **y ee h a w** : we all are

 **y ee h a w** : a group of children

 **notadrugdealer** : accurate

 **roadside shit** : [my_boy.jpg]

 **roadside shit** : look at monty

 **drugdealer jazzy** : AWERFYUDSIO AWWWWWWWWWWWW

 **notadrugdealer** : ew 

 **MountainSeas** :  _ **YOU MOTHERFUCKER MONTY THAT IS ADORABLE AND ABSOLUTELY PRECIOUS YOU CUNT LOOK AT YOU AND YOUR FACE IT'S LOVELY AND YOU DESERVE TO BE PROTECTED AT ALL COSTS.**_

 **gay ass fuck** : WHAT MAYA SAID

 **mystery engineer** : cAN YOU PLEASE FOCUS ON THE ROAD

 **roadside shit** : NYOOM

 **water bottle kicker** : monty ur the best one of us here

 **y ee h a w** : yea

 **Iceass** : echo n i love you

 **drugdealer jazzy** : everyone here loves you

 **mystery engineer** : hm

 **SaveTheTrees** :  _motherfucker, say you love monty_

 **mystery** **engineer** : gausi i LOVE monty

 **SaveTheTrees** : thats right, fucker 


	15. happy pride month everyone!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> wOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yea!! happy pride month everyone! <3  
> updates are gonna be slow- fuckin depression is killing me (not literally ahah ;;)

**mechanical dicks** : holy shit its june

 **gay ass fuck** : that means

 **roadside shit** : that you are getting a nickname change to "bells" and its PRIDE MONTH

 **y ee h a w** : the one time of year all of the sexuals come out of the cave of lgbtq and crawl around the streets

 

 **roadside shit** changed  **gay ass fuck** 's nickname to  **bells**!

 

 **bells** : oh goddamnit

 **i like candles** : we should have a fucking game

 **i also like candles** : who are you gay for in the server

 **mystery engineer** : uhm im gonna gooo

 **SaveTheTrees** : sit your ass down

 **mystery engineer** : got it! sorry!

 **thenurse(tm)** : thats. a good idea?? okay whos going first

 **i like candles** : i will

 **i like candles** : clarke

 **i also like candles** : fuckin lexa for me <3 

 **i like candles** : <3 

 **i like candles** : bellamy go

 **bells** : oh okay

 **bells** : murphy

 **roadside shit** : hm

 **bells** : WHAT DO YOU MEAN "HM"

 **roadside shit** : i mean cmon monty is attractive

 **roadside shit** : so i choose

 **roadside shit** : mr. bellamy blake

 **bells** : asshole i was worried >:c

 **roadside shit** : ily

 **bells** : sigh ily2

 **i like candles** : GAY

 **i also like candles** : babe

 **i like candles** : just sayin

 **i like candles** : monty ur turn

 **notadrugdealer** : wait why 

 **i like candles** : do it 

 **notadrugdealer** : ahsgdf okay calm down

 **notadrugdealer** : uh

 **notadrugdealer** : obvs jasper

 **drugdealer jazzy** : yea monty for me too

 **i like candles** : obviously 

 **i like candles** : hm maya u go

 **MountainSeas** : I don't know?

 **MountainSeas** : I've never thought about it

 **IceBitch** : youd be perfect with 

 **mechanical dicks** : hm

 **MountainSeas** : ...

 **i like candles** : gINA

 **y ee h a w** : oh cool i guess ill say maya then if we

 **y ee h a w** : power couple 

 **y ee h a w** : lets FUCK

 **MountainSeas** : WAIT NO

 **i like candles** : WOAH

 **i like candles** : okay cool

 **i like candles** : OCTAVIA

 **water bottle kicker** : the badass mechanic 

 **mechanical dicks** : the badass warrior

 **i like candles** : cool okay lincoln

 **SaveTheTrees** : pff i dont know

 **SaveTheTrees** : i actually dont know

 **i like candles** : i say zeke

 **mystery engineer** : wait what

 **i like candles** : zincoln

 **SaveTheTrees** : oh god

 **mystery engineer** : WHY AM I HERE WHAT 

 **i like candles** : good

 **i like candles** : HARPER

 **Literal Harp** : tbh maya

 **i like candles** : cool

 **mechanical dicks** : hey peacock whos ur gay crush

 **Depends** : UH

 **Depends** : not answering that

 **mechanical dicks** : we can play the guessing game

 **mechanical dicks** : plus we ARE all in the living room together. except we dont talk to each other like the antisocial bitches we are

 **Depends** : ill say no to all of ur guesses

 **mechanical dicks** : but your face wont

 **Literal Harp** : fuck yes raven 

 **bells** : you are the BOMB

 **roadside shit** : :(

 **bells** : ur MY bomb murph <3

 **roadside shit** : lucky you said that <3 

 **Depends** : FINE GOD

 **Depends** : jaaaackson

 **thenurse(tm)** : oh cool u admitted it 

 **thenurse(tm)** : yea id date miller

 **Depends** : wait what

 **thenurse(tm)** : dude im gay

 **thenurse(tm)** : and so are you

 **thenurse(tm)** : and we like each other

 **Depends** : WAIT WHAT

 **thenurse(tm)** : oh my god

 **thenurse(tm)** : nate i want to fu

 **Depends** : OKAY GOT IT ILY2????

 **thenurse(tm)** : yea ily

 **i like candles** : raven is such a fucking MATCHMAKER

 **mechanical dicks** : i know right

 **bells** : <3

 **i like candles** : anyways

 **i like candles** : echo

 **IceBitch** : harper

 **i like candles** : cool

 **i like candles** : roan

 **Iceass** : hm

 **Iceass** : idk bellamy

 **i like candles** : cool

 **i like candles** : and that was all of us

 **mechanical dicks** : thats nice

 **mystery engineer** : can i please go

 **notadrugdealer** : nope

 **mystery engineer** : :c

 **drugdealer jazzy** : youll get used to it

 **bells** : no you wont

 **roadside shit** : ^

 **i like candles** : i mean like

 **i like candles** : im a dead gay ghost

 **i like candles** : we have an interesting group of people

 **IceBitch** : <\--- bitch murderer

 **sigh raven no** : wait i left the place

 **i like candles** : oh hi sinclair 

 **sigh raven no** : pff hi im just gonna GOOOO back to my job bye guys 

 

 **sigh raven no** left  **Finding Nemo**!

 

 **mechanical dicks** : aw bye boss buddy

 **y ee h a w** : what now

 **mechanical dicks** : we let the lovers fuck and make a fire pit in the back

 **water bottle kicker** : fuck yea

 **SaveTheTrees** : oh god

 **bells** : nO

 **roadside shit** : sounds like a bad plan but whatever 

 **mechanical dicks** : lexa since youre a ghost

 **mechanical dicks** : you like

 **mechanical dicks** : scare the shit out of my neighbours 

 **i like candles** : fucking ON IT


	16. raven thats a cat you can barely take care of yourself let alone another helpless living thing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> meow motherfuckers  
> murphy is Mocked  
> monty is Adorable and Pure and Innocent

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ahsdbf i hate myself but at the same time who dOESNT want raven to have a cat

**i like candles** : neighbors are SPOOKED

 **mechanical dicks** : thank you

 **SaveTheTrees** : never say spooked again

 **bells** : i agree with lincoln

 **roadside shit** : i agree with the gay 

 **bells** : which one

 **roadside shit** : oh you know

 **y ee h a w** : *i agree with the gay ABOVE me

 **y ee h a w** : you two arent sneaky 

 **roadside shit** : (; 

 **bells** : WE ARE HAVING A FIGHT GINA

 **roadside shit** : we are?

 **mechanical dicks** : hey guys take fucking pictures lets film it 

 **Iceass** : why me 

 **IceBitch** : why are we here

 **MountainSeas** : Because of Monty.

 **notadrugdealer** : ;; hi 

 **IceBitch** : that was adorable

 **drugdealer jazzy** : anything he does is adorable <3 

 **notadrugdealer** : nooooo dont do thaaat

 **i also like candles** : sorry maya but im a fucking jonty shipper 

 **MountainSeas** : So am I, it's fine. 

 **water bottle kicker** : lincoln is the leader of murphamy 

 **water bottle kicker** : maya is the leader of jonty 

 **water bottle kicker** : and i have to say that lexa is the leader of clexa

 **i like candles** : hell yeah i am

 **i also like candles** : but 

 **water bottle kicker** : lexa has pickup lines

 **i also like candles** : bitch you and raven taught her those

 **mechanical dicks** : sure did

 **mechanical dicks** : holy shit i see something 

 **mechanical dicks** : its moving

 **water bottle kicker** : KILL IT

 **SaveTheTrees** : OCTAVIA NO

 **SaveTheTrees** : I TAUGHT YOU BETTER THAN THAT 

 **bells** : im her brother

 **SaveTheTrees** : im her boyfriend

 **bells** : we have lived with each for 20 years 

 **SaveTheTrees** : she moved out a year ago

 **roadside shit** : oh my god you 2 shut up im pretty sure raven is gone

 **bells** : WELL GET OFF ME AND CHECK

 **roadside shit** : im pretty sure lexa is sitting on my back

 **i like candles** : clarke wanted to "take pictures of her gays"

 **roadside shit** : sorry bell, but everyone now knows youre a bottom

 **bells** : we have been dating for A DAY

 **roadside shit** : (;

 **i also like candles** : why are you texting when you could literally be talking to each other

 **i like candles** : i think i know

 **mechanical dicks** : holy shit its a cat 

 **roadside shit** : because bellamy moans every time i say something to him

 **bells** : I FUCKING DONT

 **notadrugdealer** : raven dont touch it

 **drugdealer jazzy** : murphy say something to him so we can tell if hes lying or not

 **bells** : NO

 **roadside shit** : (; 

 **water bottle kicker** : CAT

 **MountainSeas** : Raven don't kill it

 **SaveTheTrees** : okay can you lovebirds stop fucking because i

 **SaveTheTrees** : oh my god

 **i like candles** : BELLAMY I HEARD THAT FUCKING MOAN

 **bells** : THAT WASNT A MOAN 

 **roadside shit** : i wasnt even trying that time 

 **i also like candles** : (;

 **mechanical dicks** : 1- i so wish i was there

 **mechanical dicks** : 2- im not gonna kill it 

 **mechanical dicks** : 3- the cat is mine now 

 **notadrugdealer** : oh no 

 **IceBitch** : i feel bad for it

 **Iceass** : me too

 **drugdealer jazzy** : raven no

 **MountainSeas** : Jasper, you literally lost the kitten I gave you.

 **drugdealer jazzy** : ... so

 **MountainSeas** : In under five minutes.

 **notadrugdealer** : hes..impressive, to say the least 

 **water bottle kicker** : of course YOU would know (;

 **roadside shit** : stop using (; thats my thing

 **i like candles** : (;

 **mechanical dicks** : (;

 **SaveTheTrees** : (;

 **Iceass** : (;

 **IceBitch** : (;

 **i also like candles** : (;

 **bells** : (;

 **water bottle kicker** : (;

 **MountainSeas** : (;

 **notadrugdealer** : (;

 **drugdealer jazzy** : (;

 **Literal Harp** : (;

 **Depends** : (;

 **thenurse(tm)** : (; 

 **mystery engineer** : (; 

 **y ee h a w** : (^; 

 **roadside shit** : goddamnit 

 **mechanical dicks** : everyone can use (; BUT monty

 **bells** : agreed

 **i like candles** : 100%

 **thenurse(tm)** : obviously 

 **Depends** : fuck yea

 **Literal Harp** : yes

 **water bottle kicker** : YES RAVEN YES

 **SaveTheTrees** : very good idea

 **notadrugdealer** : wait why ?

 **drugdealer jazzy** : ur too innocent n pure for this world monty

 **notadrugdealer** : no im NOT >:c

 **drugdealer jazzy** : you used ">:c" you are INNOCENT AND PURE

 **water bottle kicker** : must be protected 24/7

 **Iceass** : literally 

 **Iceass** : echo n i only come over because of you

 **Literal Harp** : you cant have sex

 **y ee h a w** : not allowed

 **bells** : ^

 **roadside shit** : 1- monty i like you and im murphy 2- ur amazing 3- fucking adorable 4- literally anyone would die for you 5- im gay for you (but more gay for bell sorry) 6- I LOVE YOU

 **i like candles** : and thats coming from murphy

 **i also like candles** : holy shit man thats 

 **notadrugdealer** : oh my god 

 **notadrugdealer** : honestly i feel so fucking special rn <3 god guys 

 **IceBitch** : youre the best one of us 

 **SaveTheTrees** : monty i would single handedly fight a bear, in a wedding dress, with my hands tied, and blindfolded, just for you

 **notadrugdealer** : AA LINCOLN ;;

 **MountainSeas** : "I would literally die for you" - Lincoln

 **SaveTheTrees** : who said i would die? (; 

 **roadside shit** : monty i would literally punch bellamy in the face for you

 **bells** : WAIT WHAT

 **mechanical dicks** : monty im bringing home this cat for you

 **mechanical dicks** : actually no you live with jasper hed kill it 

 **drugdealer jazzy** : SAYS YOU

 **water bottle kicker** : id date raven for you monty

 **water bottle kicker** : thats not much tho

 **water bottle kicker** : id date maya for you monty 

 **MountainSeas** : Ew no

 **water bottle kicker** :  _exactly my point_

 **Literal Harp** : monty everyone here loves you

 **Depends** : i would do anything for you

 **thenurse(tm)** : same

 **bells** : also same

 **roadside shit** : monty i would literally be straight if you asked me to

 **notadrugdealer** : GUYS STOP IM ACTUALLY SOBBING

 **i like candles** : OH SHIT HE IS MONTY ARE YOU OKAY HONEY GROUP HUG EVERYONE????????

 **notadrugdealer** : no ur all so fucking nice and im crying because i love you all and you guys are such "assholes" to everyone but me and i just dont deserve that youre all too nice and i just 

 **i also like candles** : group fucking hug

 **roadside shit** : ill stop straddling bell just to hug you 

 **Iceass** : ily monty

 **water bottle kicker** : monty dont even we all love you and we fucking would do anything for you because youre literally the best sweetheart we fuckin love you so much because of who you are dont ever feel like you dont deserve that 

 **drugdealer jazzy** : listen up rn monty i love you so much and like o said we would do LITERALLY anything for you okay bb??? we fuckin love you and you deserve everything and everyone you want youre such an amazing person and youre great and adorable and cute and fucking lovable alright??

 **SaveTheTrees** : monty we all love you and we dont ever want you to feel like you dont deserve the affection and love you get because YOU DO. youre an absolutely amazing person never change 

 **mechanical dicks** : monty i love you so fucking much and we all do theres no reason to feel like that and tell that part of you to fucking die because you deserve MORE than everything alright??? listen the fuck up monty because you have 0 reason to hate yourself so please stop because we love you so much and you dont need to change ever 

 **bells** : monty if you ever feel like that tell us!! we can help you and we love you and care about you so much alright? dont feel like you dont deserve that because you really do and theres nothing wrong with you! you mean to world to all of us 

 **notadrugdealer** : ;;

 **drugdealer jazzy** : monty i love you

 **MountainSeas** : Monty, we love you.

 **SaveTheTrees** : monty, i love you

 **roadside shit** : monty we all love you so much

 **i like candles** : monty i love you

 **i also like candles** : _**monty- we**_ _ **love you**_

 

 **bells** has pinned a message! 

 

 **mechanical dicks** L youre a light in a normally bleak and depressing world 

 **mechanical dicks** : <3 

 **notadrugdealer** : <3 

 **notadrugdealer** : NOW BACK TO THE CAT

 **mechanical dicks** : still alive

 **bells** : somehow

 **Literal Harp** : how

 **thenurse(tm)** : i dont know if i can fucking let another thing die by ravens side 

 **mechanical dicks** : guys i know how to take care of a cat

 **roadside shit** : HA

 **Depends** : u sure

 **IceBitch** : ^

 **mechanical dicks** : YES 

 **roadside shit** : thats about as true as me saying that im the straightest person alive

 **roadside shit** : or that lexa is REMOTELY straight

 **bells** : please dont kill the cat

 **mechanical dicks** : I DIDNT PLAN TO????

 **i like candles** : name it lexa

 **mechanical dicks** : i was gonna name it murphamy 

 **i like candles** : better

 **bells** : no

 **roadside shit** : (;

 **bells** : NO

 **roadside shit** : murphamy it is

 **mechanical dicks** : got it 

 **bells** : NO FUCKING HELL DO NOT NAME IT THAT 

 **mechanical dicks** : cmon murphamy, back to the house we go

 **bells** : (:

 **roadside shit** : welp im dead

 **bells** : sure fucking will be <3

 **roadside shit** : love you too babe <3 


	17. just a chapter dedicated to my Child monty

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> i love monty and if you dont we cant be friends

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I LOVE MY SON WGHEFIGOPLCKMN

**mechanical dicks** : guys do you wanna review montys best moments

 **notadrugdealer** : WAIT WHAT

 **bell** : FUCK YEA I LOVE DOING THIS

 **SaveTheTrees** : you mean i actually saved all of those for a good reason

 **mechanical dicks** : hell yea 

 **notadrugdealer** : WH???????????? NO??????

 **drugdealer jazzy** : the time monty played "mess is mine" for my birthday and blared it, refusing to turn it off because he wanted me to have the best birthday ever and thats my favorite song 

 **notadrugdealer** : WELL IT IS THERES NOTHING SPECIAL THERE

 **water bottle kicker** : or the time he bought a three year old a new balloon because his popped 

 **SaveTheTrees** : or the time he saved a baby bird

 **bells** : my fav moment was when he stood up for a freshman in high school 

 **roadside shit:** mine is him existing 

 **iceass** : the time he literally saved my life 

 **iceass** : when i fell in front of a bus 

 **iceass** : im like 100 pounds heavier than him and he literally saved my ass

 **mechanical dicks** : the time that he hugged jasper randomly 

 **drugdealer jazzy** : god yea

 **y ee h a w** : uh idk him that well but im gonna go with Best Child Around 

 **IceBitch** : does anyone remember the time monty rescued a kitten from being hit by a car?

 **bells** : OR THE TIME HE FUCKING FOUND SOMEONES WALLET AND RETURNED IT TO THEM IN THE HOUR???

 **i like candles** : THE TIME MONTY LITERALLY BOUGHT US ALL HOTEL ROOMS 

 **i also like candles** : OR THAT ONE TIME HE BOUGHT A 6 YEAR OLD A FUCKING BIRTHDAY CAKE BECAUSE THE KIDS GOT RUINED??

 **Depends** : WHAT ABOUT THE TIME HE HARPER N I TO THE AIRPORT BC OUR CAR BROKE DOWN???

 **notadrugdealer** : 1- THE KID WAS CRYING 2- it was a bird!! so?? 3- FOX WAS GETTING BULLIED OKAY 4- fuck u MURPHY 5- ROAN YOU COULDVE DIED 6- JASPER IS MY BEST FRIEND ITS NOT RARE 7- GINA NO 8- ITS A KITTEN WHY WOULDNT YOU? 9- WHO WOULDNT 10- YEA I HAD EXTRA CASH IT WAS THE NICE THING TO DO 11- HE WAS ALSO CRYING 12- YOU GUYS WERE IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE OF COURSE I HELPED

 **roadside shit** : monty literally no one but you does those things and i love it

 **Literal Harp** : the time monty bought clarke new colored pencils because hers broke 

 **notadrugdealer** : 1- there are other people like me in the world??? 2- harper she was sad okay 

 **IceBitch** : OR the time he helped a turtle in the middle of the road 

 **drugdealer jazzy** : or that one time monty lived

 **notadrugdealer** : >:c

 **mechanical dicks** : monty we love you

 **bells** : youre the best one of us 

 **roadside shit** : i strive to be like you

 **drugdealer jazzy** : tbh id marry you

 **MountainSeas** : Same

 **i like candles** : i Love You

 **i also like candles** : monty youre the sweetest, most pure, most innocent, absolute lovely, good-hearted child 

 **water bottle kicker** : agreed

 **SaveTheTrees** : every now and then im scared that i upset you and i wallow in a pit of darkness for 15 hours 

 **bells** : same

 **Depends** : monty youre the best

 **thenurse(tm)** : monty i would break the rules if you asked me to

 **SaveTheTrees** : and jackson IS a big rule follower 

 **Iceass** : i would bring my mother back to live if you asked me to

 **roadside shit** : id be nice to someone i hate cough cough bellamy cough cough

 **bells** : i have texts that youve sent m

 **roadside shit** : shut up

 **Literal Harp** : monty everyone here loves you

 **SaveTheTrees** :  _ **RIGHT ZEKE??**_

 **mystery engineer** : RIGHT 100% I LOVE MONTY HES THE FUCKING BEST BEST BUDDY IM SO GLAD TO BE IN HIS PRESENCE RN I LOVE HIM HES THEBEST

 **y ee h a w** : off topic but lincoln youve literally killed zeke hes like dying. im p sure i see him shaking in the corner and i love it 

 **bells** : wow gina rude

 **y ee h a w** : i know (; 

 **bells** : no

 **roadside shit** : (;<

 **bells** : no

 **water bottle kicker** : HEY THIS IS MONTYS DAY

 **thenurse(tm)** : monty we love you

 **Depends** : youre the best

 **Iceass** : im only here because of you

 **IceBitch** : you make the best food

 **drugdealer jazzy** : id marry you

 **MountainSeas** : so would i

 **i like candles** : youre super sweet

 **i also like candles** : and innocent and kind 

 **bells** : too pure for this war

 **roadside shit** : everyone has different opinions but we all love you 

 **Literal Harp** : id get hit by a train for you

 **SaveTheTrees** : id kill a bear in a wedding dress for you

 **water bottle kicker** : id skin the bear in full body armor for you

 **y ee h a w** : id murder everyone for you

 **mechanical dicks** : id do anything for you

 **mystery engineer** : youre the best absolutely stunning and remarkable in every single way possible i could not think of a better friend 

 **notadrugdealer** : 1- i hate you all 2- i love you guys so much 3- zeke you can come over here to socialize you know that right

 **mystery engineer** : i think the one you call lincoln would rip my spine out

 **SaveTheTrees** : damn right 


	18. "what the fuck"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> raven becomes a murder as she looks for her victims in the house. its scary  
> also everyone is a fucking orphan im

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> fuck im sorry this is late ive been sick (worse sick, and yes, still. yes it sucks) so ech]  
> also yes, this is probably the strangest chapter yet  
> (;
> 
> also why is everyone an orphan. like. clarke has her mom but still. so many of the 100s/everyone elses parents are dead wh

**mechanical dicks** : murphamy is running towards the house

 **mechanical dicks** : what a good cat

 **roadside shit** : wow

 **roadside shit** : he already hates you

 **water bottle kicker** : rude cat

 **SaveTheTrees** : correction: SMART cat 

 **thenurse(tm)** : ^

 **thenurse(tm)** : raven i am NOT a vet

 **Depends** : awh youll bury ravens cat just fine honey

 **thenurse(tm)** : shut up

 **Literal Harp** : accurate tho 

 **mystery engineer** : okay so basically im not allowed to leave, and "raven" is going to kill a cat

 **bells** : yeah you got it 

 **mystery engineer** : alright then

 **y ee h a w** : having fun buddy

 **mystery engineer** : no not really

 **i like candles** : trust me it gets worse

 **i also like candles** : it sure does

 **i like candles** : im literally a ghost and its great

 **mystery engineer** : i hate my life

 **drugdealer jazzy** : there there pal its fine

 **notadrugdealer** : dont lie to him jasper

 **MountainSeas** : *There there, pal. You'll die here.

 **notadrugdealer** : much better

 **IceBitch** : dont worry, your death will probably be painless

 **Iceass** : still lying there

 **i like candles** : 1- youll die 2- it will hurt

 **SaveTheTrees** : there we go

 **water bottle kicker** : yeah you ever wonder why finn has a limp now

 **mechanical dicks** : oh my god murphy fucking killed him 

 **mechanical dicks** : and you too octavia 

 **roadside shit** : he was a prime example of why we dont cheat on anyone

 **bells** : you almost broke his back

 **roadside shit** : my point still stands

 **SaveTheTrees** : ^

 **Literal Harp** : i dont think i was there for that?

 **Depends** : we were there. we just didnt participate in the violent act 

 **thenurse(tm)** : i 100% wasnt there and jesus fucking christ guys you cant just do that

 **i also like candles** : so long as my mom can fix it, im allowed to do basically whatever

 **thenurse(tm)** : that is...sadly true

 **notadrugdealer** : you dont want to know

 **MountainSeas** : Even though I came along later, you guys were still really violent. And hyped up about basically murdering Finn.

 **roadside shit** : to be fair, octavia did beat the shit out of him

 **water bottle kicker** : hell yeah

 **water bottle kicker** : you dont cheat on raven reyes and not expect me to kill the person who cheated on her

 **SaveTheTrees** : this has to be the reason no one dates her

 **mechanical dicks** : probably

 **i like candles** : why have a partner when you can be a ghost

 **i also like candles** : excuse me

 **i like candles** : i was jOkING buddy 

 **y ee h a w** : hm

 **y ee h a w** : i mean the ghost life sounds fun

 **y ee h a w** : you can float around and scare the shit out of people

 **i like candles** : yeah its great 

 **mechanical dicks** : murphamy get ur ass back here

 **mechanical dicks** : im adopting a child and naming it murphamy 

 **bells** : no

 **SaveTheTrees** : nO

 **water bottle kicker** : ill help u raise them

 **mechanical dicks** : got it

 **Depends** : happy youre here jackson

 **thenurse(tm)** : god no

 **mystery engineer** : can i. like maybe. leave,,, please i have a family 

 **notadrugdealer** :  ** _we did too_**

 **drugdealer jazzy** :  _ **we ARE your FAMILY now**_

 **bells** : cmon guys no satanic rituals 

 **notadrugdealer** : you never let us have fun >:c

 **MountainSeas** : Bell, you gotta let them have their Satanic Ritual now. Monty pleads.

 **roadside shit** : eh fuck it

 **roadside shit** : whats the worst they can do

 **drugdealer jazzy** : (; 

 **water bottle kicker** : random fact but did you know in 2005 (in kashmir) an earthquake killed 80,000 people 

 **SaveTheTrees** : thanks for that fact o 

 **water bottle kicker** : of course

 **bells** : how are we related again 

 **water bottle kicker** : who the fuck knows

 **roadside shit** : i luckily lived as the Only Child

 **mechanical dicks** : MY MOM WAS A PROSTITUTE 

 **i like candles** : MY MOM IS DEAD

 **SaveTheTrees** : *OUR MOM IS DEAD

 **thenurse(tm)** : SAME 

 **bells** : SAME FOR ME AND OCTAVIA

 **roadside shit** : SAME v2

 **notadrugdealer** : SAME FOR JASPER ME N MAYA

 **i also like candles** : my mom is still alive wtf 

 **roadside shit** : get the fuck out of the dead mom club then clarke 

 **Iceass** : mY MOM IS DEAD TOO

 **IceBitch** : JESUS SAME

 **y ee h a w** : ME THE FUCK TOO GUYS IM IN THE DEAD MOM CLUB

 **i also like candles** : my dad is dead does that count 

 **roadside shit** : hm

 **roadside shit** : RAISE UR HAND IF UR AN ORPHAN 

 **SaveTheTrees** : HELLO 

 **i like candles** : HEY ME TOO

 **bells** :ALSO ME 

 **water bottle kicker** : WOO 

 **mechanical dicks** ; SAME BITCH

 **Iceass** : SAME OVER HERE

 **IceBitch** : IM IN THE ORPHAN CLUB

 **Depends** : SAME

 **Literal Harp** : ALSO SAME

 **thenurse(tm)** : hello im also in the orphan club 

 **roadside shit** : jesus why are like 99% of us orphans 

 **bells** : wELL

 **bells** : dad died in a car crash and mom

 **water bottle kicker** : got murdered

 **SaveTheTrees** : my parents died in a house fire

 **i like candles** : *our parents

 **i also like candles** : dad got into a car accident 

 **thenurse(tm)** : dad died before i was born, and mom died due to medical issues

 **notadrugdealer** : dad got killed during a riot, and mom had terminal cancer

 **drugdealer jazzy** : my poor baby boy monty im so sorry

 **notadrugdealer** : dude no lexa n lincs parents died in a FIRE thats worse than how mine died

 **roadside shit** : :(

 **bells** : but monty thats just sadder

 **i also like candles** : ;;

 **water bottle kicker** : off topic but raven is back and she has a blowtorch

 **mechanical dicks** : hell yeah i do

 **bells** : everyone fucking run

 **IceBitch** : no need to say that everyones already hiding

 **Iceass** : we have LEARNED 

 **Literal Harp** : fuck yeah we have

 **Depends** : whats the plan do we just run or something

 **thenurse(tm)** : maybe

 **roadside shit** : lexa can you go scope out where she is 

 **i like candles** : on it 

 **i like candles** : the Target is in the LR

 **i also like candles** : if you cant figure that out ur lame

 **mechanical dicks** : you guys arent sneaky 

 **mechanical dicks** : i see gina

 **y ee h a w** : no you dont

 **notadrugdealer** : gina its too late for you

 **MountainSeas** : Was nice knowing you. 

 **y ee h a w** : HOLY SHIT I DIDNT EXPECT HER TO FUCKING RUN IM LOICKING THE DOOR BYE GUYS 

 **mystery engineer** : AGSHDFJ WHY AM I HERE

 **SaveTheTrees** : shut up

 **water bottle kicker** : should we use him for bait

 **notadrugdealer** : no thats much too cruel

 **Depends** : ^

 **roadside shit** : jesus yeah 

 **bells** : like miles/zeke would die (ziles? meke)

 **mechanical dicks** : come on out pals

 **mechanical dicks** : gina is in the bathroom 

 **i like candles** : ASHGFH FUCK GUYS RUN NOW GO GO GO 

 **i also like candles** : oh shit

 **i also like candles** : OH SHIT

 **bells** : OH FUCK

 **Literal Harp** : MILLER MOVE

 **thenurse(tm)** : HARPER MOVE

 **Literal Harp** : TRYING

 **Iceass** : oh my god guys why did you all hide toge

 **Iceass** : echo we can leave

 **IceBitch** : holy shit yes 

 **i like candles** : AZGEDA IS IN THE STORAGE CLOSET 

 **IceBitch** : LEXA HOW COULD YOU

 **mechanical dicks** : thank you buddy

 **mechanical dicks** : hi guys (;

 **Iceass** : FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK

 **notadrugdealer** : jasper follow me

 **drugdealer jazzy** : oh my god 

 **drugdealer jazzy** : of course

 **notadrugdealer** : think itll fit all of us ?

 **MountainSeas** : It will. I can see you guys. 

 **bells** : thats a way 

 **roadside shit** : woop 

 **i also like candles** : hell yeah

 **y ee h a w** : im on the roof but thats my boy monty good job


	19. theres a CABIN in the WOODS there is a CABIN. in the WOODS.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> raven is still a murderer, but this time with a butcher knife  
> monty has safe rooms in everyones houses  
> also theres a cabin in the woods that freaks everyone out

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AAA IM SO SORRY THIS IS SO LATE IVE BEEN BUSY W/ MOVING EHDFGCVH???  
> also what the fuck how did i get 69 ( (; ) kudos on this stupid fic im sghdjf thank you all so much!! <3 <3

**drugdealer jazzy** : monty when did you make this???

 **notadrugdealer** : everyone has one in their houses! i make sure of that 

 **roadside shit** : youre a fucking genius 

 **mechanical dicks** : what the fuck is in my house that i dont know about

 **bells** : something amazing

 **i like candles** : oh raven echo is getting away

 **IceBitch** : LEXA STFU

 **i like candles** : its my duty to serve 

 **i also like candles** : kinky (;

 **roadside shit** : kinky (; 

 **roadside shit** : GAY MINDS THINK ALIKE

 **bells** : WE DONT USE THAT TERMINOLOGY ANYMORE 

 **SaveTheTrees** : monty how long did it take you to build this

 **SaveTheTrees** : survival shelter

 **notadrugdealer** : 3 hours or so 

 **SaveTheTrees** : jesus

 **notadrugdealer** : i mean you guys have a room for this so i just modified it 

 **drugdealer jazzy** : thats my boy 

 **MountainSeas** : This is amazing. 

 **bells** : that it is

 **i also like candles** : im surprised

 **i also like candles** : its so pretty

 **roadside shit** : oh no

 **mechanical dicks** : oh yes

 **i like candles** : IM SO SORRY GUYS I DIDNT SEE HER RUN FUCKING SPRINT ON OUT OF THERE  

 **notadrugdealer** : oh fuck at least i prepared for this hey guys close that door 

 **drugdealer jazzy** : this would be a lot easier if we just talked like normal people

 **notadrugdealer** : thats a funny joke anyways open that door 

 **y ee h a w** : oh my god i see you guys start fuckinbg going 

 **i also like candles** : why does raven have a forest in her backyard 

 **mechanical dicks** : i let wick live here for two days and he decided to plant a fucking jungle 

 **notadrugdealer** : lies 

 **roadside shit** : raven doesnt know how to chop down trees without killing herself 

 **mechanical dicks** : well neither do you 

 **SaveTheTrees** : this is nice and all, but raven has a fucking butcher knife can we go

 **water bottle kicker** : oh fuck 

 **MountainSeas** : Gina get down

 **y ee h a w** : no thank you im good up here id prefer not to die today 

 **drugdealer jazzy** : i mean same 

 **Depends** : oh shit 

 **Iceass** : oh fucking

 **IceBitch** : how the fuck did this happen 

 **mechanical dicks** : im confused whats going on 

 **y ee h a w** : well

 **bells** : okay so

 **bells** : the forest 

 **bells** : has a cabin in it 

 **bells** : and i think theres a dead body in there

 **Literal Harp** : LETS GO CHECK IT OUT

 **thenurse(tm)** : harper thats how people die in cliche horror movies

 **Literal Harp** : still 

 **SaveTheTrees** : well i guess i die first then

 **roadside shit** : wtf why would we go in there when lexa is a ghost who cant die 

 **i like candles** : hell no im not going in there

 **i also like candles** : babe you cant die

 **i like candles** : but 

 **thenurse(tm)** : raven stop playing with knives and check this out 

 **Depends** : its interesting 

 **notadrugdealer** : this is the part where we dont split up

 **water bottle kicker** : yes

 **MountainSeas** : Splitting up is never a good idea.

 **SaveTheTrees** : splitting up is very bad

 **i like candles** : yet youre all making me go into this creepy ass cabin 

 **mechanical dicks** : im here 

 **mechanical dicks** : also lincoln your pet escaped

 **mystery engineer** : i refuse to be here goodbye

 

 **mystery engineer** left  **Finding Nemo!**

 

 **roadside shit** : me the fuck too 

 **bells** : :(

 **roadside shit** : just kidding ily 

 **bells** : (: 

 **water bottle kicker** : anyways, lexa

 **i like candles** : its disgusting in here

 **mechanical dicks** : like theres a deady body or

 **Depends** : let it be a dead body

 **y ee h a w** : do you ever wonder if dead bodies have sperm 

 **IceBitch** : well i am now 

 **Iceass** : why is she here again

 **bells** : i tried to prove i was straight 

 **roadside shit** : didnt work very well

 **i also like candles** : LEXA IS THERE A DEAD BODY OR NOT 

 **i like candles** : NO 

 **Literal Harp** : oh darn

 **mechanical dicks** : well that sucks 

 **notadrugdealer** : i mean at least we dont have to clean it up

 **bells** : it wouldve been fun though

 **drugdealer jazzy** : i mean hes not wrong 

 **thenurse(tm)** : so what now 

 **water bottle kicker** : well we obviously sleep in the fucking cabin

 **i also like candles** : YES

 **y ee h a w** : sounds like an adventure

 **mechanical dicks** : got it will do 

 **mechanical dicks** : wait but my cat 

 **bells** : murphy and i can stay in the house and take care of murphamy 

 **roadside shit** : wait wh

 **roadside shit** : oh i see (; 

 **bells** : WAIT NO THATS NOT WHAT I MEANT 


	20. cabin time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> CABIN TIME

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yes

**roadside shit** : are you sure

 **bells** : 1- fuck you 2- yes

 **roadside shit** : (;

 **i like candles** : bell just stop talking everything you say is sex now 

 **bells** : darn 

 **Depends** : okay so MURPHAMY gets the house + cat and everyone else 

 **Depends** : gets the cabin in the woods 

 **thenurse(tm)** : mhm

 **i also like candles** : basically

 **mechanical dicks** : i dont see what was unclear about that miller 

 **SaveTheTrees** : thats basically how it always works yeah

 **water bottle kicker** : yeah its because my brother is a fucking PANSY 

 **bells** : SHUT UP I AM NOT 

 **roadside shit** : youre afraid of moths, bell

 **bells** : w

 **bells** : wh

 **bells** : im 

 **bells** : shut up 

 **y ee h a w** : murphy you broke your boyfriend

 **roadside shit** : sure did

 **notadrugdealer** : okay i suggest you two get into the house before raven changes her mind about letting you both stay there

 **mechanical dicks** : good call

 **mechanical dicks** : also dont use my bed. use the couch

 **drugdealer jazzy** : wow youre demoting their sex area

 **bells** : JASPER WE ARENT 

 **i also like candles** : bellamy you did this to yourself really

 **Literal Harp** : ^ 

 **MountainSeas** : Even I can't help you

 **IceBitch** : ^^^^

 **Iceass** : bellamy you are a sad, sad creature 

 **roadside shit** : that he is

 **water bottle kicker** : oh my god just leave the fucking woods and go to the fucking house 

 **SaveTheTrees** : please ^ 

 **i like candles** : ugh the cabin is fucking digusting 

 **thenurse(tm)** : how so?

 **i like candles** : its a cabin in the middle of a forest 

 **thenurse(tm)** : fair enough 

 **IceBitch** : why am i friends with all of you again

 **Literal Harp** : because of monty 

 **notadrugdealer** : i have no clue

 **notadrugdealer** : oh 

 **drugdealer jazzy** : monty you cook really well 

 **bells** : where the fuck did murphy go

 **roadside shit** : im in the house catch up

 **y ee h a w** : go be with your boyfriend 

 **y ee h a w** : wait quick question: murphy is a top or bottom

 **bells** : well

 **i like candles** : 100% bottom

 **i also like candles** : lexa no hes 100% a top

 **i like candles** : what the fuck is wrong with you

 **water bottle kicker** : i say top bc bellamy is once again a pansy 

 **SaveTheTrees** : i say switch tbh

 **y ee h a w** : murphys bottom aura resonates with me 

 **Literal Harp** : me the fuck too gina

 **Depends** : no way in hell are either of them strict tops/bottoms 

 **Iceass** : hm

 **Iceass** : this is a really good discussion 

 **mechanical dicks** : honestly bellamy is a pussy but i dont know about murphy either 

 **bells** : are we just making fun of me at this point

 **IceBitch** : wait bellamy

 **IceBitch** : what is murphy 

 **IceBitch** : top or bottom 

 **bells** : well

 **bells** : i mean

 **bells** : who knows

 **i like candles** : HE IS A FUCKING BOTTOM

 **i also like candles** : lexa what the fuck your raccoon brain is dying 

 **i like candles** : clarke im divorcing you

 **i also like candles** : we didnt even get married 

 **water bottle kicker** : lincoln cant you legally marry people

 **SaveTheTrees** : both of them have to be living 

 **bells** : okay bye gonna go to the house

 **roadside shit** : raven do you even have cat food for murphamy

 **mechanical dicks** : uh 

 **Depends** : of course she doesnt

 **bells** : jesus 

 **i like candles** : *marcus 

 **bells** : lexa i am not screaming "MARCUS FUCKING KANE" instead of "JESUS FUCKING CHRIST"

 **water bottle kicker** : its basically the same thing

 **Literal Harp** : it really is

 **thenurse(tm)** : ^^^^^^

 **roadside shit** : oh hello there bellamy i see you

 **y ee h a w** : (•; 

 **i also like candles** : i can just imagine murphy, laying on the couch, attempting to be romantic. while hes in like 50 oversized hoodies, has just showered for an hour and a half, and has about thirty bags of chex mix opened 

 **roadside shit** : you arent wrong

 **notadrugdealer** : that image is never leaving my head 

 **bells** : looking in through the window, you arent that far off

 **bells** : [gay emo.jpg]

 **i like candles** : marcus fucking kane

 **mechanical dicks** : what lexa said

 **MountainSeas** : Oh my god

 **i like candles** : *oh my marcus kane

 **drugdealer jazzy** : lexa shut up

 **roadside shit** : hoodies are comfortable okay 

 **roadside shit** : and im too lazy to take them off

 **bells** : accurate

 **water bottle kicker** : wow the cabin is really small

 **SaveTheTrees** : says octavia as she tries and takes up as much room as possible

 **water bottle kicker** : shut up

 **i also like candles** : its not thaaat bad

 **thenurse(tm)** : ehh

 **notadrugdealer** : surprisingly could be worse

 **Literal Harp** : smells terrible though

 **y ee h a w** : if any of you lay down before me im kicking your teeth in 

 **y ee h a w** : just a warning

 **Depends** : violent 

 **y ee h a w** :  _Teeth Time_

 **MountainSeas** : Marcus fucking Kane

 **i like candles** : YES

 **i also like candles** : okay so: im getting far left, lexa too (gay). octavia and lincoln (beast and the beast) will be next to me, followed by: maya monty and jasper (the gays and straight), miller and jackson (doctor gay), roan and echo (cold),  harper (musical instrument), raven (demon), and finally, gina (you) on the far left 

 **bells** : what a democracy 

 **i also like candles** : bitch i dont want my teeth taken and im 100% sure raven doesnt sleep

 **mechanical dicks** : i mean its smart 

 **mechanical dicks** : note: gina im proud af of my teeth take them and i rip your organs out 

 **y ee h a w** : raven is the only person here that i fear

 **mechanical dicks** : good

 **i like candles** : raven instills fear wherever she goes

 **roadside shit** : oh my god 

 **i like candles** : wrong 

 **roadside shit** : why are you making me correct myself to "oh marcus kane"

 **i like** **candles** : the first face i saw upon death was marcus kane 

 **i like candles** : for all i know he is God 

 **roadside shit** : fine

 **roadside shit** : anyways, murphamy (the cat) is so good?? hes such a cat but in a good way 

 **mechanical dicks** : yeah youre welcome, i did only steal him

 **Literal Harp** : why do i have to sleep close by raven and gina i dont like that 

 **y ee h a w** : (•; 

 **Literal Harp** : uncomfortable 

 **notadrugdealer** : wow this cabin is 

 **notadrugdealer** : hm

 **drugdealer jazzy** : me the fuck too monty 

 **bells** : murphy unlock the fucking door

 **roadside shit** : hey

 

Conversation between **bells** and  **roadside shit**!

 

 **roadside shit** : i want a cat or im breaking up with you

 **bells** : you wouldnt

 **roadside shit** : is that a challenge 

 **bells** : NO 

 **bells** : fine ill buy you a fucking cat 

 **bells** : fuck you

 **roadside shit** : thanks boyfriend

 **bells** : shut up 

 

**Finding Nemo**

**mechanical dicks** : MOVE THE FUCK OVER GINA

 **bells** : i was gone for like two seconds wtf happened 

 **SaveTheTrees** : GINA HAPPENED 

 **water bottle kicker** : YOU DID THIS BELL. YOU DID THIS

 **IceBitch** : WHHHH THSI IS AN AISUDFGVBDNSJKJDHFGBV

 **y ee h a w** : oh shush its not like im burning down the cabin

 **i also like candles** : ??? you have a fucking match and are on top of the cabin

 **y ee h a w** : sure am 

 **roadside shit** : im so fucking glad to be away from gina 

 **bells** : me too 

 **y ee h a w** : i can walk to the house from here

 **mechanical dicks** : BITCH THATS MY HOUSE

 **y ee h a w** : got it

 **y ee h a w** : ill sleep with the flies up here on the cabin roof


	21. house party time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ravens house door is broke so bellamy sleeps outside and justs texts his boyfriend all night  
> also gina kinda starts a forest fire just sayin

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sbdjk school is starting semi-soon, so updates might come more frequently (haha i do this instead of homework its not an issue tbh) so yay!

**bells** : okay u fucks im gonna talk to my boyfriend i am officially muting this server 

 **y ee h a w** : yes we live in the woods Abandon Us

 **i like candles** : this is a one night thing 

 **mechanical dicks** : no this is every night

 **water bottle kicker** : we just do things in the day (jobs, college, assassination) and then come back here

 **i also like candles** : but i have a house

 **SaveTheTrees** : so do we

 **bells** : oh what the fuck raven the door is locked 

 **mechanical dicks** : well get ur boyfriend to unlock it or smth 

 **roadside shit** : raven im like 90% sure you broke ur door 

 **mechanical dicks** : well fuck

 **bells** : am i just like 

 **bells** : sleeping outside the house

 **notadrugdealer** : what about the hidden house door??

 **roadside shit** : ive got like no clue how to get back there and i just want to see my boyfriend fucking freeze so 

 **bells** : youre mean 

 **roadside shit** : sure am 

 **bells** : okay server has been muted try not to die

 

Conversation between **bells** and  **roadside shit**! 

 **bells** : boyfriend party time starts now

 **roadside shit** : do you mean "alone time"

 **bells** : yes

 **roadside shit** : never call "alone time"  "boyfriend party time" ever again

 **bells** : but

 **roadside shit** : it sounds sexual and i WILL mock you

 **bells** : rude

 **roadside shit** : anyways,

 **roadside shit** : i really do want a cat

 **bells** : well i mean, you can have a cat

 **roadside shit** : are you 100% sure youre up for that responsibility?

 **bells** : youre making it sound like we're adopting a kid 

 **bells** : which i mean 

 **roadside shit** : cats come first, kids can come later

 **roadside shit** : preferably when married 

 **roadside shit** : that way you cant ditch my ass

 **bells** : i would never

 **bells** : i might ditch you but never your ass

 **roadside shit** : youre absolutely terrible

 **bells** : just doin my job (;

 **roadside shit** : i hate you 

 **bells** : i love you too 

 **roadside shit** : well okay fine i like you 

 **bells** : do i really only get an i like you

 **roadside shit** : if we were in a burning building i wouldnt push you into the fire

 **bells** : thats the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me, especially coming from you

 **roadside shit** : of course 

 **bells** : please tell me we wont be one of those couples who call each other 'honey' or 'sweetheart' 

 **roadside shit** : id rather gouge my eye out slowly 

 **bells** : glad we agree, 

 **bells** : so like do you want to get married

 **roadside shit** : i dunno maybe

 **roadside shit** : do you

 **bells** : i mean it depends on the person im getting married to

 **bells** : but yeah kinda 

 **roadside shit** : oh neat

 **bells** : off topic but its fucvking freezing out here

 **roadside shit** : no clue if you could squeeze urself in through a window but 

 **roadside shit** : ill drop a blanket down for you

 **bells** : how sweet

 **roadside shit** : i sure fucking am sweet 

 **bells** : ow

 **roadside shit** : hush at least i gave ur ass a pillow 

 **bells** : im using that pillow for my fuckin head thanks 

 **bells** : if you have another tho thatd be nice

 **roadside shit** : honestly i dont want to go in ravens room im fucking scared of it 

 **bells** : i mean me the fuck too 

 **roadside shit** : also murphamy says hi

 **roadside shit** : he mewed in ur direction it was cute 

 **bells** : aww

 **roadside shit** : we are so getting a cat

 **bells** : yes i agreed to this 

 **roadside shit** : okay my phone is exploding gonna check finding nemo 

 

**Finding Nemo**

**mechanical dicks** : HWAT THE FUCK IS GINA DOING

 **i like candles** : I SEE FIRE WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON

 **y ee h a w** : i messed up

 **ntoadrugdealer** : WE ARE NOT CAUSING A FOREST FIRE WHATSDGHFGHDJHFG

 **i also like candles** : LEXA FIX IT??? UR A GHOSRT YOU CAN DO THGTA 

 **i like candles** : IM TRYIN BUT KIKE 

 **Depends** : HAHA JACKSON CAN YOU FIX BURN WOUNDS

 **thenurse(tm)** : LUCKILY I CAN

 **Literal Harp** : THIS IS RIDICULOUS 

 

Conversation between  ** **bells**  **and  ** **roadside shit****! 

 **roadside shit** : okay so 

 **bells** : okay so...??

 **roadside shit** : alright why dont you look towards the cabin and you should see it im guessing

 **bells** : WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT FIRE

 **roadside shit** : mhm

 **bells** : hGDHJSKJHFG WHAT THE FUCK HOWDID THAT HAPPEN WHO CAUSED IT OH MY GOD MY SISTER IS THERE W

 **roadside shit** : give me like 5 seconds

 

 **Finding Nemo** :

 **mechanical dicks** : OCTAVIA PUT ME DOWN

 **water bottle kicker** : BITCH NO IM GETTIN U OUT OF THIS CABIN

 **SaveTheTrees** : EVERYONE GRAB SOMEONE AND CARRY THEM OUT 

 **i like candles** : OKAY SO IM PUTTING ON THE FIRE TO THE BEST OF MY ABILITIES BUT THIS IS 

 **notadrugdealer** : LINCOLN PUT ME DOWN???????

 **SaveTheTrees** : NO WAY

 **drugdealer jazzy** : LINCOLN PUT ME THE FUCK DOWN

 **Depends** : BITCH IM NOT CARRYING ANYONE IM GETTING OUT OF THE CABIN

 **thenurse(tm)** : :(

 **Depends** : OH MY GOD FINE

 **thenurse(tm)** : i dIDNT MEAN PICK ME UP

 **mechanical dicks** : LEXA HOWS THE FIRE GOIN

 **i like candles** : LIKE 2% OUT?

 **y ee h a w** : pf 

 **IceBitch** : GINA YOU ARE A FUCKING ISSUE

 **Iceass** : HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

 

Conversation between  **bells** and  **roadside shit**!

 **roadside shit** : dont worry theyre fine 


	22. ESCAPE FROM THE FOREST: PART 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> gina causes a fire and everyone tries to leave  
> except theyre all idiots and end up lost in the forest  
> the fire is kinda put out but theyre still fuckin lost in a forest

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> gshj honestly i have no plot for this story whatsoever im just goin w/ whatever i posted last and adding to that

Conversation between  **bells** and  **roadside shit**!  
**bells** : are you 100% sure theyre gonna be okay

 **roadside shit** : unmute the server u cuck

 **bells** : but boyfriend party time

 **roadside shit** : we've been talking for like an hour party time is dead when theres a fire

 **bells** : damn

 

**Finding Nemo**

**i like candles** : okay so 

 **SaveTheTrees** : ive got no clue where i am 

 **mechanical dicks** : neither do we 

 **i also like candles** : lexa can you maybe help us find the house honey?

 **i like candles** : not rn im so sorry

 **i like candles** : the fire is still kinda here

 **y ee h a w** : im living in the woods now its official 

 **bells** : what the fuck 

 **i like candles** : FUCK IT FLAMED UP AGAIN WTF

 **mechanical dicks** : oh hey bell

 **mechanical dicks** : gina started a fire

 **mechanical dicks** : i approve but i have no clue where anyone else is 

 **water bottle kicker** : except for me 

 **i also like candles** : no offense lincoln but im 100% octaven 

 **SaveTheTrees** : me too kinda. im at 0.1% octaven shipper 

 **SaveTheTrees** : murphamy is better tho

 **notadrugdealer** : okay so the man im stuck with is talking about ships

 **drugdealer jazzy** : hey it could be worse 

 **drugdealer jazzy** : at least im here

 **roadside shit** : alright can everyone say who theyre with 

 **i also like candles** : miller and jackson 

 **i like candles** : im alone

 **y ee h a w** : im LIVING

 **mechanical dicks** : im here with octavia 

 **SaveTheTrees** : monty and jasper are here 

 **Literal Harp** : ive got echo and roan w me 

 **MountainSeas** : I have no clue where I am. I'm alone.

 **drugdealer jazzy** : oh no dont die babe 

 **MountainSeas** : Honestly I'm okay with this

 **SaveTheTrees** : i mean i have a child and an edgy teen to take care of

 **notadrugdealer** : accurate 

 **bells** : can anyone see the house

 **i also like candles** : i cant

 **Depends** : same

 **mechanical dicks** : nothing over here

 **mechanical dicks** : i bet i could make rockets and shoot them up at the sky like a signal

 **Literal Harp** : NO

 **Iceass** : i cant see the house either

 **SaveTheTrees** : same here 

 **y ee h a w** : im becoming a fucking bird 

 **i like candle** : gina get down from that tree

 **MountainSeas** : I thought I saw the cabin, but it's just a weird tree. 

 **i like candles** : how tf do you mistake a tree for a cabin

 **water bottle kicker** : drugs

 **bells** : OCTAVIA AURORA BLAKE 

 **SaveTheTrees** : OCTAVIA

 **water bottle kicker** : just saying

 **y ee h a w** : fuck you lexa im letting wilderness take me 

 **notadrugdealer** : please rephrase that sentence

 **Depends** : bellamy i fucking hate you

 **bells** : yeah me too

 **Depends** : you invited gina and now we're lost in the woods

 **bells** : yeaah 

 **roadside shit** : okay im guessing when morning happens you guys should be able to find ur way out easier 

 **mechanical dicks** : or i could climb a tree and look for my house

 **water bottle kicker** : bitch no you have an injured leg 

 **mechanical dicks** : stop me then

 **Literal Harp** : of all the people, why did they have to be paired together

 **IceBitch** : no clue

 **Iceass** : octaven 

 **i like candles** : yeah octaven

 **i also like candles** : plus theyre able to not murder each other within two seconds

 **drugdealer jazzy** : accurate

 **SaveTheTrees** : jasper do you think you could get on my shoulders and look for the cabin or house

 **drugdealer jazzy** : i would snap my neck

 **SaveTheTrees** : got it 

 **MountainSeas** : Accurate 

 **Iceass** : i refuse to climb a tree to save our lives

 **i also like candles** : wow what a hero 

 **Iceass** : okay clarke go scale a tree

 **i also like candles** : fuck you roan 

 **IceBitch** : see this is why shaw got out as fast as possible

 **mechanical dicks** : no hes just a pussy who cant handle us

 **notadrugdealer** : no hes smart 

 **roadside shit** L ^^^^^^^^^

 **bells** : okay all of you stop arguing and try and find the cabin/house

 **Literal Harp** : on it, boss

 **Depends** : alright lets go you two

 **thenurse(tm)** : nate you are not the leader 

 **i also like candles** : i am bitch

 **Depends** : wait why

 **i like candles** : when i find you i can kill you

 **i like candles** : and youre powerless to stop me

 **Depends** : clarkes the leader then,


	23. ESCAPE FROM THE FOREST: PART 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> everyone tries to leave the forest but end up getting lost even more  
> because theyre fucking idiots  
> (also: luna)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yes

**Finding Nemo**

**bells** : this is an issue

 **i like candles** : sure is

 **Literal Harp** : echo and roan are fighting and its annoying 

 **Iceass** : KELLOGS IS BETTER THAN FUCKING "APPLE JACKS"

 **roadside shit** : guys youre all trapped in a forest 

 **roadside shit** : try to get back to the house instead of arguing about fuckin cereal

 **bells** : maturity???? it looks well on you????

 **roadside shit** : thats not what ur mom said

 **bells** : there we go

 **water bottle kicker** : our mom is dead murphy

 **roadside shit** : (;;;;

 **bells** : ew

 **notadrugdealer** : okay can we focus on the task at hand 

 **Literal Harp** : ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

 **MountainSeas** : Agreed.

 **i also like candles** : hey lexa?? hows the fire goin

 **y ee h a w** : she put it out or smth 

 **i like candles** : i sure as hell did

 **i also like candles** : im so proud of u babe

 **i like candles** : awwwww <3 <3 <3 

 **i also like candles** : <3 <3 <3 <3 

 **mechanical dicks** : ew

 **SaveTheTrees** : raven you ruined an amazing gay moment 

 **mechanical dicks** : im HAVING a gay moment

 **water bottle kicker** : shes carrying me bridal style around this fuckin forest 

 **SaveTheTrees** : HOW??

 **water bottle kicker** : bc shes RAVEN REYES

 **Depends** : oh my god we are so going to die out here

 **thenurse(tm)** : you literally are dating a doctor, nate

 **thenurse(tm)** : plus we all could like. i dont know. just sleep and then start moving in daylight?????

 **IceBitch** : ew no

 **roadside shit** : sigh

 **Literal Harp** : OKAY ECHO AND ROAN, CAN WE PLEASE START MOVING 

 **i also like candles** : miller you have two (2) doctors with you at the moment 

 **i also like candles** : literally you have a good chance of surviving, if i dont murder you VIOLENTLY 

 **mechanical dicks** : Friendship Bonding Time

 **y ee h a w** : Friendship Bondage Time

 **i like candles** : NO

 **bells** : GODDAMMIT GINA

 **bells** : NO???

 **roadside shit** : this is what you brought into our lives bellamy 

 **roadside shit** : this is what happens when you bring things into our lives. bellamy

 **bells** : IVE LEARNT MY LESSON

 **i also like candles** : miller climb that tree to get a look

 **Depends** : why me

 **i also like candles** : bitch i dont want to and jackson would break his neck

 **thenurse(tm)** : i want to argue but shes right 

 **mechanical dicks** : oh my god can i invite luna bell

 **mechanical dicks** : please please please please please 

 **bells** : ugh

 **water bottle** **kicker** : bitch you better let raven invite luna okay 

 **bells** : ughhhhhh

 **i like candles** : LUNA IS STILL ALIVE?????

 **i also like candles** : HOLY SHIT 

 **mechanical dicks** : YEAH??? SHE JUST LEFT TOWN 

 **roadside shit** : literally you all are stuck in a forest 

 **mechanical dicks** : dude im gay af for her

**oceans** joined  **Finding Nemo**!  
  


 **oceans** : what

 **mechanical dicks** : LUNA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 **oceans** : OH FUCJHJSHDGVH RAVEN???????

 **mechanical dicks** : YES YES YES ITS ME I AM HERE JUDHGHSJGFH

 **oceans** : MY CHILD HI HOW ARE YOU?

 **SaveTheTrees** : jesus christ

 **SaveThe** **Trees** : shit sorry lexa

 **SaveTheTrees** : marcus kane 

 **MountainSeas** : Wow

 **drugdealer jazzy** : wait wait wait 

 **drugdealer jazzy** : luna is the one with fluffy hair right

 **notadrugdealer** : yeah! she lives by the. ocean or smth 

 **IceBitch** : roan im gonna kill you apple jacks are fucking BRILLIANT

 **mechanical dicks** : EVERYONE SHUT THE FUCK UP AT LET ME TALK TO MY FUCKING FLUFFY HAIRED ADORABLE OCEAN LOVER

 **oceans** : awww

 **y ee h a w** : can i take her teeth

 **mechanical dicks** : gina im gonna murder u 


	24. ESCAPE FROM THE FOREST: END

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> these bitches escape the forest

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> dfhjk hello!! ill try to update more often, but school/moving is kicking my ass so pff

**Finding Nemo**

 

 **mechanical dicks** : lunny how are you??

 **oceans** : im doing alright!!! what about you?

 **water bottle kicker** : RAVEN FUCKING DROPPED ME 

 **SaveTheTrees** : RAVEN

 **mechanical dicks** : sORRY 

 **mechanical dicks** : i got excited bc luna

 **i like candles** : alright so luna isnt confused: everyone is trapped in a forest rn minus bellamy and murphy 

 **oceans** : wh

 **oceans** : are u guys like lost??

 **Depends** : yeah

 **Literal Harp** : yes

 **oceans** : oh okay 

 **oceans** : bellamy and murphy arent tho??? why

 **roadside shit** : oh yeah we're dating now 

 **oceans** : AWWWWW!!!

 **roadside shit** : dude luna its been so long how are you

 **oceans** : fhjd im doing pretty good! im excited to hear that murphamy happened 

 **bells** : also lexa is dead

 **oceans** : whAT

 **i also like candles** : oh yeah pff

 **Iceass** : shes a ghost

 **y ee h a w** : yes

 **notadrugdealer** : also gina started a fire so thats why we're lost 

 **thenurse(tm)** : im dating jackson

 **IceBitch** : roan is an idiot 

 **Iceass** : KELLOGS IS BETTER THAN APPLE JACKS

 **drugdealer jazzy** : raven found a cat and named it murphamy 

 **MountainSeas** : Oh yeah that happened 

 **SaveTheTrees** : we found a cabin in the middle of a forest outside of ravens house

 **mechanical dicks** : yeah

 **oceans** : wtf 

 **i like candles** : me fuckng too luna 

 **i like candles** : anyways

 **i like candles** : im trying to spot the house and i cant 

 **i also like candles** : its okay babe ur doin ur best <3 

 **i like candles** : <3 

 **thenurse(tm)** : nate climb that tree

 **Depends** : ughhhhhhh

 **Literal Harp** : ROAN AND ECHO

 **Literal Harp** : STOP

 **Literal Harp** : FIGHTING

 **Literal Harp** : OVER

 **Literal Harp** : CEREAL 

 **water bottle kicker** : omg raven look

 **mechanical dicks** : IS THAT MY HOUSE

 **bells** : I CAN SEE TWO FIGURES FUCKIN BOOKING IT TOWARDS US MURPH

 **roadside shit** : either its raven and octavia OR we're gonna get mugged 

 **water bottle kicker** : ITS US U FUCKING TOASTER

 **roadside shit** : DONT CALL ME A FUCKING TOASTER YOU ABSOLUTE LAMP

 **bells** : OCTAVIA STOP CALLING MY BOYFRIEND NAMES

 **bells** : MURPHY STOP CALLING MY SISTER NAMES

 **oceans** : wow

 **mechanical dicks** : TIME TO MAKE SOME FUKCING  _ **ROCKETS**_

 **oceans** : are you sure thats safe???

 **notadrugdealer** : fff she'll probably blow up her house

 **Depends** : well i mean at least we'll see where to go then 

 **drugdealer jazzy** : true 

 **mechanical dicks** : the door wasnt locked??

 **roadside shit** : THATS BECAUSE YOU JUST BODY SLAMMED INTO IT WHAT THE FUCK 

 **oceans** : BE CAREFUL 

 **water bottle kicker** : raven why do you have like 

 **water bottle kicker** : that many rockets??

 **mechanical dicks** : why wouldnt i 

 **mechanical dicks** : anyways time to light these off and hope i dont kill myself in the process

 **SaveTheTrees** : octavia back the fuck away from raven 

 **notadrugdealer** : ^^^^ thats a good idea

 **Literal Harp** : I SAW ONE

 **Literal Harp** : ECHO ROAN LETS GO

 **i also like candles** : CMON GAYS I SAW ONE TOO

 **notadrugdealer** : LINCOLN PUT ME DOWN

 **SaveTheTrees** : NOPE IM TAKIN U HOME 

 **MountainSeas** : OH I SPOTTED ONE 

 **bells** : I CAN SEE LIKE 5 PEOPLE 

 **roadside shit** : ITS LIKE A HERD 

 **Depends** : I SEE TGE FUCIHJSHFJ THE HOUSE IM OUTTA THE WOODS

 **mechanical dicks** : FUCK yes they wORKED

 **water bottle kicker** : MONTY MY BB ARE U OKAY

 **notadrugdealer** : ??? yeAH im fine

 **drugdealer jazzy** : holy shit that was

 **y ee h a w** : ive come back just to take everyones teeth

 **i like candles** : CKARKE

 **i also like candles** : hello!! i see you doing ur thing

 **i like candles** : <3 <3 

 **oceans** : what is lexa doing

 **i like candles** : waving two sticks in the air 

 **i also like candles** : its adorable 

 **thenurse(tm)** : well that was a fucking adventure

 **Iceass** : i am NEVER entering that forest again

 **IceBitch** : me the fuck too


	25. yowza

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> luna regrets everything  
> to be fair, everyone regrets everything

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for being late w/ this chapter!!! ive been away from home recently so ew

**oceans** : so uh

 **oceans** : why does raven have a forest in her backyard

 **mechanical dicks** : blame wick

 **mechanical dicks** : i let him in my house for 7 seconds and he planted a fucking jungle 

 **roadside shit** : correction: raven is lazy and probably would kill herself trying to cut it all down

 **water bottle kicker** : which is why you have us to help

 **bells** : no

 **SaveTheTrees** : no

 **i like candles** : NO

 **i also like candles** : god no

 **MountainSeas** : Absolutely not

 **notadrugdealer** : uh no

 **drugdealer jazzy** : fuck no

 **Iceass** : bitch please

 **IceBitch** : maybe

 **y ee h a w** : THERE IS NO MAYBE IN THIS ECHO 

 **IceBitch** : WDYM IM UP FOR CUTTING DOWN A FOREST 

 **mechanical dicks** : FUCK YEAH ECHO UR COOL NOW

 **i like candles** : echo youre a disgrace oh my godddd

 **Literal Harp** : echo wtf

 **Depends** : i mean it cant be that bad

 **thenurse(tm)** : hey if echo is offering that means none of us have to do it so its fine

 **bells** : true

 **roadside shit** : right, echo????????????

 **IceBitch** : maybe 

 **oceans** : wtf did i come back to

 **oceans** : also is anyone dead?? other than lexa

 **notadrugdealer** : as far as im aware

 **notadrugdealer** : no

 **water bottle kicker** : yeah lexa is the only gh

 **water bottle kicker** : clarke

 **i also like candles** : yes octavia

 **water bottle kicker** : can ghosts have sex

 **SaveTheTrees** : octavia no

 **i also like candles** : im actually not sure

 **oceans** : PLEASE DO NOT TRY 

 **roadside shit** : ^^^^^^^^ IM IN THE SAME ROOM W YOU TWO I DO NOT WANT TO SEE THAT SHIT 

 **drugdealer jazzy** : FOR ONCE I 100% AGREE WITH MURPHY 

 **Depends** : EW EW EW DO NOT 

 **i like candles** : (;;;;

 **thenurse(tm)** : im fucking gone man shaw had the right idea

 **Depends** : DONT YOU DARE LKEAVE MNE 

 **Literal Harp** : marcus fucking kane 

 **roadside shit** : HOW ARE WE EVEN FRIENDS WITH OCTAVIA

 **bells** : i punched you when you came to middle school and made fun of her 

 **roadside shit** : oh yeah

 **mechanical dicks** : AND I CRASHED INTO THAT FUCKING SCHOOL

 **oceans** : WHAT

 **i also like candles** : omg she did

 **i also like candles** : she crashed her fucking mechanical rocket into the school geography window and almost killed the teacher 

 **oceans** : oh my god

 **Iceass** : i am so glad i never went to your fucking school 

 **IceBitch** : our school was boring

 **Iceass** : ECHO SOMEONE DIED IN OUR SCHOOL

 **Literal Harp** : its not middle school unless someone dies

 **thenurse(tm)** : dear god

 **i like candles** : us grounder kids had fun 

 **SaveTheTrees** : we had cliques it was terrible 

 **i like candles** : hey you were IN my clique 

 **SaveTheTrees** : trikru 

 **oceans** : OH I WAS IN THE BOAT CLAN ONE 

 **i like candles** : FLOATKRU????? 

 **Iceass** : I REMEMBER THEM OH MY GOD

 **IceBitch** : WE WERE THE AZGEDANS 

 **bells** : what the fuck happened at your schools jesu

 **bells** : marcus kane

 **roadside shit** : remember the time you hanged me

 **bells** : THAT WAS AN ACCIDENT IM SO SO SORRY

 **water bottle kicker** : im so glad you all transferred in like 7th grade 

 **oceans** : not to change the subject but you guys scare me 

 


	26. bellamy what the fuck

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> bellamy supplies his friends with condoms and thats it

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> osdjfk sorry for kind of late updates! school is a bitch

**mechanical dicks** : bellamy fuicking blaake 

 **bells** : yes

 **mechanical dicks** : i walked into my room and i found like 50 condoms in ONE clothes drawer

 **bells** : oh yeah everyone has that

 **i like candles** : WHAT

 **i also like candles** : WE DO?????

 **notadrugdealer** : wtf is that where those came from

 **drugdealer jazzy** : bell what the FUCK

 **bells** : im the oldest im making sure u all have protection 

 **roadside shit** : wow arent you responsible 

 **bells** : I AM 

 **oceans** : how did we go from school to condoms

 **Depends** : no clue luna

 **mechanical dicks** : IS THIS A SEX BROCHURE IN  HERE TOO WHAT GGFGF

 **notadrugdealer** : YOU GOT ONE OF THOSE TOO

 **roadside shit** : bellamy what the fuck 

 **bells** : im the oldest its my job

 **SaveTheTrees** : at least you guys didnt get stuck with him on fucking CHRISTMAS

 **bells** : iT WAS CREATIVE THO

 **SaveTheTrees** : YOU HUNG CONDOMS ON MY DOORFRAME 

 **SaveTheTrees** : THEY WERE RED AND GREEN AND IVE NEVER BEEN SO FUCKING CONFUSED 

 **roadside shit** : YOU HAVE CHRISTMAS COLOURED CONDOMS AND YOU NEVER TOLD ME???????

 **bells** : I NEVER THOUGHT I HAD TO SINCE I GAVE YOU THEM LAST CHRISTMAS AS UR GIFT?

 **i like candles** : i want christmas coloured condoms??? i want the CCCs

 **Iceass** : lexa youre a ghost

 **i like candles** : your point 

 **y ee h a w** : oh i have halloween coloured condoms in my apartment 

 **y ee h a w** : THANKS BELLAMY

 **water bottle kicker** : omg he was there for like 1 night and already bought u fuckign condoms 

 **Literal Harp** : is that why monroe brought me like 7 pounds of condoms and told me "i found these under my bed and my door was locked AND i didnt buy these so what the fuck here you go"

 **bells** : ive climbed through hundreds of windows JUST to supply my friends with condoms 

 **SaveTheTrees** : SO IT WASNT A ROBBER IN OUR HOUSE IT WAS JUST YOU?????

 **water bottle kicker** : I FEEL A BIT BAD FOR KICKING YOU IN THE FACE NOW

 **bells** : hHFJD YEAH THAT WAS ME

 **roadside shit** : im dating the Condom Giver i have mixed feelings 

 **mechanical dicks** : bellamy why is this brochure like so fucking detailed???? why do you have power points im so c

 **notadrugdealer** : i just gave that to jasper andffffff

 **drugdealer jazzy** : oh yeah i gave it to murphy and hehghdjk

 **roadside shit** : i gave it to kane and he just looked really concerned but it was amakzign 

 **i like candles** : dude kane is super nice 

 **i also like candles** : should have given it to that 

 **i also like candles** : bitch teacher

 **bells** : do you mean pike 

 **SaveTheTrees** : I FUCKIGN HATE THAT MAN 

 **notadrugdealer** : hate is a strong word but i hate pike 

 **mechanical dicks** : WE ALL NOW HATE PIKE IF MONTY HATES PIKE

 **oceans** : hes a DICK

 **water bottle kicker** : and thats coming from luna, the peacemaker 

 **i like candles** : finn used to call himself the peacemaker and thats a LIE

 **i also like candles** : murphy and octavia beat the peacemaker out of him 

 **roadside shit** : he cheated on raven with you clarke of course we fuckin murdered him

 **water bottle kicker** : you dont just cheat like that and not expect to be sent to the hospital 

 **bells** : im p sure most people expect like public humiliation 

 **bells** : not

 **bells** : what was it again??? broken leg and arm??? black eyes??? broken nose???? 

 **roadside shit** : you forgot that i broke his wrist!!!

 **mechanical dicks** : 1- im so happy i have friends like this 2- bellamy why is this sex brochure so fucking detailed 

 **bells** : i dont know what kind of shit youre gonna get into 

 **bells** : better to be safe than sorry!

 **bells** : also a lot of you are female and like????? can get pregnant

 **i like candles** : cLARKE WE CAN HAVE A GHOST KID!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 **i also like candles** : honey i dont want to have to explain to our child why their mother is never around 

 **i also like candles** : because shes dead

 **i like candles** : your words wound me 

 **i also like candles** : WELL LEXA ITS TRUE 

 **notadrugdealer** : shes not dead in our hearts

 **MountainSeas** : That's super corny but it's Monty so it's adorable 

 **Iceass** : lexa kicked a man out of a window once

 **i like candles** : well he was a prick

 **IceBitch** : lexa you cant just kick people out of windows

 **IceBitch** : you kick them off of roofs 

 **thenurse(tm)** : HOW ABOUT YOU DONT DO THAT AND JUST GIVE THEM A CONDOM OR SMTH

 **bells** : im gonna be kind of sad if one of you has to ask me for a condom when ive bought as many as possible and thrown them in your house

 **roadside shit** : murphamy needs a condom bowl 

 **bells** : im not getting the cat a condom bowl

 **SaveTheTrees** : bellamy you should get the cat a condom bowl 

 **bells** : lincoln no

 **water bottle kicker** : lincoln and octavia yes

 **bells** : NO

 **bells** : ...maybe 


	27. murphamy's bowl

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "did you really get the cat a condom bowl"  
> "..."  
> "..."  
> "...yes"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HELL YES

**oceans** : get murphamy a condom bowl they need it 

 **i like candles** : bell pls

 **bells** : sjdhfjh fine 

 **mechanical dicks** : BELLAMY WHY IS THE BROCHURE MORE DETAILED THAN THE SEX ED CLASS I WAS FORCED INTO

 **bells** : raven idk what youre gonna get into 

 **bells** : im just makin sure everything is in there

 **bells** : anyays

 **roadside shit** : anyays 

 **SaveTheTrees** : ANYAys

 **i like candles** : older sister.......ys

 **SaveTheTrees** : anya says...yay

 **mechanical dicks** : THERES L;IKE 7 PAGES DEDICATED TO THREESOMES IM FUUUCJKX

 **bells** : 1- EVERYONE GOT THE SAME ONE 2- IM GONNA GET MURPHAMY A CONDOM BOWL

 **roadside shit** : i have the bowl 

 **roadside shit** : im guessing you have condoms 

 **bells** : yeah i do dont worry about it

 **i like candles** : jackson did they hand out this many condoms at like

 **i like candles** : the hospital 

 **thenurse(tm)** : oh god no

 **thenurse(tm)** : think like

 **thenurse(tm)** : less than half of what bellamy has 

 **water bottle kicker** : what a good big brother

 **oceans** : i guess hes responsible???? kind of

 **i also like candles** : its concerning how many he has

 **oceans** : that too 

 **Iceass** : really concerning

 **IceBitch** : how much money have you spent on condoms bellamy

 **bells** : probably over 1000 or so

 **MountainSeas** : MARCUS FUCKING KANE

 **notadrugdealer** : DEAR GOD BELLAMY

 **drugdealer jazzy** : DO YOU ASSUME WE'RE JUST GONNA DO THE DIRTY LIKE RABBITS

 **roadside shit** : dO THE DIRTY 

 **thenurse(tm)** : DO THE DIRTY LIKERABBBFKSJDHFJ

 **Depends** : OH MY GOD

 **y ee h a w** : bellamy i need more condoms bc im gonna make a tree out of them

 **mechanical dicks** : can i join you in doing that

 **y ee h a w** : christmas/thanksgiving/halloween theyre all coming up soon we need to Decorate 

 **Literal Harp** : OH VMY GOD YES

 **bells** : murphamys bowl is done!! and yeah sure gina ill get u some more

 **bells** : bc im a goddamn good adult

 **roadside shit** : yeah youre supplying us with condoms so we can decorate everything 

 **roadside shit** : youre a lovely adult

 **Depends** : hey he could be worse

 **Iceass** : he could buy sex toys instead

 **roadside shit** : okay youre right 

 **i like candles** : I CAN IMAGINE HIM DOING SO

 **i like candles** : TEXTING RAVEN ON WHAT SHE WANTS

 **i also like candles** : HFKSDJHF SENDING PICTURES LIKE "HEY IS THIS THE RIGHT COLOUR AND BRAND"

 **mechanical dicks** : HDJGHJ HE WOULDNT JUST BE TEXTING ME CLARKE YOU N LEXA HAVE A FREAKY SIDE

 **mechanical dicks** : ESPECIALLY SINCE ONE OF YOU IS A GHOST

 **notadrugdealer** : you guys all concern me sometimes 

 **oceans** : me too monty

 **y ee h a w** : im pretty sure if one of you guys asked bellamy would handcraft a sex toy

 **bells** : MAYBE

 **roadside shit** : im dating a sex toy maker what the fuck

 **bells** : (;;;

 **water bottle kicker** : this is why mom was murdered bellamy

 **water bottle kicker** : we dont make sex toys in this family 

 **bells** : octavia im gonna take my chances 

 **SaveTheTrees** : if you actually do im gonna strangle you


	28. youre gonna light yourself on fire

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> raven likes fire and lexa doesnt want a repeat of the forest

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> FUCK i am so sorry this is so so so late!! life is a bitch kids remember that  
> gshdh ill try to update more frequently (tbh joniss has my damn heart at the moment because its my monthly hunger games watching time and hHHHH)  
> i hope you enjoy this !!

**i like candles** : raven put it the fuck down

 **mechanical dicks** : put what down MOM

 **i like candles** : you know exactly what i mean raven reyes put the fucking blowtorch down

 **bells** : SHE HAS A BLOWTORCH 

 **roadside shit** : okay lol by e

 **i like candles** : sex toy maker go and get ur boyfriend

 **bells** : come bac

 **roadside shit** : im like right in front of you you could speak to me

 **bells** : you could also speak to me but no

 **roadside shit** : fair

 **notadrugdealer** : raven i dont like this 

 **y ee h a w** : cowaerds 

 **y ee h a w** : fire is nothing 

 **i like candles** : gina you set the forest on fucking fire i do not want to that to happen again 

 **i also like candles** : lexa where is she 

 **i like candles** : shit where is she

 **oceans** : how did you lose raven reyes

 **water bottle kicker** : shes in the master bedrooms closet i can hear her lightly shrieking 

 **SaveTheTrees** : nice ears octavia 

 **water bottle kicker** : thank you lincilknsfh

 **SaveTheTrees** : not even close 

 **mechanical dicks** : fuck u octavia you gave it away

 **mechanical dicks** : i was gonna burst out of the closet and scream "IM OUT"

 **roadside shit** : raven you do that every year

 **MountainSeas** : *Every day 

 **oceans** : yeah when we lived together she always screamed that to get me up it was cute 

 **Iceass** : god i chose to be friends with you

 **IceBitch** : i was forced into it 

 **Iceass** : i was forced to be friends with lexa after she broke my nose and two of my ribs

 **i like candles** : stfu roan u deserved it 

 **Iceass** : I MADE ONE (1) JOKE ABOUT UR FOCKING HAIR AND YOU CLOCKED ME

 **i also like candles** : im gonna punch you in the throat for that dont do that to my woman you bitc

 **i also like candles** : my 

 **i also like candles** : my ghost??

 **i also like candles:** my ghost woman

 **SaveTheTrees** : ghost woman sounds about right

 **Depends** : okay i passed tf out on jackson and raven has a blowtorch and i hear her howling and im 

 **thenurse(tm)** : im abandoning you sorry nate

 **roadside shit** : true love am i right

 **bells** : you tried to hang me when i was like 9 

 **roadside shit** : because you tried to hang me when i was 7 or smth 

 **bells** : shit sorry 

 **water bottle kicker** : while thats cute and all 

 **water bottle kicker** : ravens gone silent and im epicly concerned 

 **Literal Harp** : everyone stop breathing and stay still if u dont move she cant see u

 **oceans** : no just trip her

 **oceans** : she'll complain for about 2 1/2 hours and lay there for another 4 hours n thats plenty of time to get out of a house

 **mechanical dicks** : luu dont do this to m e 

 **oceans** : sorry raven but i dont condone u w a BLOWTORCH 

 **bells** : all in favour of kidnapping luna and making her ravens roommate 

 **water bottle kicker** : but like im her roommate 

 **bells** : move the fuck in w/ ur boyfriend 

 **roadside shit** : its been like3 years move in 

 **SaveTheTrees** : oct youre mostly already moved in 

 **SaveTheTrees** : 99% of what u own is in my house or on my house's ground 

 **water bottle kicker** : ugh fine 

 

**Conversation between oceans and mechanical dicks!**

 

 **oceans** : raven i have my own house if u 

 **oceans** : like if youd ever actually want to move in you could like just offering 

 **mechanical dicks** : how far from here???

 **oceans** : like 20 minutes if you go the speed limit which you wont

 **mechanical dicks** : of course im movin in w/ you luu ill pack and give this place to someone 

 **oceans** : adhfj u dont have to im not pressuring you or anything just offering 

 **mechanical dicks** : honey if i didnt have this blowtorch in my hands i would hug you 

 **oceans** : thats sweet 

 

**Finding Nemo**

 

 **bells** : raven 

 **i like candles** : put it 

 **roadside shit** : the fuck 

 **Depends** : down

 **Iceass** : nice teamwork 

 **Literal Harp** : ^

 **mechanical dicks** : make me bitchhehes 

 **oceans** : BITCHHEHES 

 **water bottle kicker** : raven drop it 

 **mechanical dicks** : im not a dog u prick

 **mechanical dick** : im a magnetic bird shaped dick

 **SaveTheTrees** : god and we trust her with rockets

 **i also like candles** : we trust her with nothing we  just accept that if we want to live then she gets to shoot things with fire and blood rockets 

 **thenurse(tm)** : not gonna ask what a blood rocket is 

 **i like candles** : RAVEN REYES TURN IT THE FUCK OFF

 **mechanical dicks** : FIRE MOTHERFUCKER

 **i like candles** : HHHHHHHHHH


	29. thanksgiving with some fucked up 20 year olds

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> thanksgiving but its not at all filled with thankfulness

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> happy thanksgiving everyone!! i hope you all have a happy turkey day!

**i like candles:** TURKEY DAY TURKEY DAY TURKEY DAY!!!!!!!!!

 **i also like candles** : lexa you cant eat tho

 **i like candles** : I DONT CARE CLARKE LET ME HAVE THIS 

 **roadside shit** : BRB GONNA MNAKE STUFFING 

 **bells** : you can COOK???

 **roadside shit** : NO BUT IM GONNA TRY

 **mechanical dicks** : LUNA LUNA LUNA LUNA !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! GET UR ASS OVER HERE RN IM AT MY HOUSE MY FUCKING SWEET HOUSE GET OVER HERE 

 **water bottle kicker** : BELLAMY WE GOTTA DO THIE FGHDGHJDH THE TURKEY WE GOTTA MAKE IT 

 **i also like candles** : MOM ALWAYS MADE ME MAKE THE HAM LEXA LETS MAKE IT

 **SaveTheTrees** : mom always made us do that too?? lexa u better make it good 

 **drugdealer Jazzy** : MONTY MONTY MONTY!!! WE GOTTA MAKE TGE PIE 

 **notadrugdealer** : YES THE PIE 

 **thenurse(tm)** : nate we have to 

 **thenurse(tm)** : gotta make the potatoes 

 **Depends** : YES 

 **Literal Harp** : ICE KIDS WE'RE MAKING LAST MINUTE THANKSGIVING DECOR 

 **Iceass** : im fucking on it echo lets go cut down a tree

 **IceBitch** : why the fuck do we need to cut down a tree

 **Iceass** : echo we're cutting down a tree

 **IceBitch** : but WHY

 **Iceass** : WE JUST ARE COME ON 

 **IceBitch** : OKAY FINE 

 **oceans** : im on my fucking way i am Driving 

 **y ee h a w** : putting on but im a cheerleader for u guys 

 **y ee h a w** : thanskgiving special 

 **bells** : gina thank you

 **y ee h a w** : of course condom boy

 **bells** : MURPHY 

 **roadside shit** : bellamy 

 **bells** : im thankful for u 

 **roadside shit** : AWWWW

 **notadrugdealer** : THATS SWEET

 **roadside shit** : im thankful for u too fuckface

 **drugdealer Jazzy** : monty im so thankful for you you absolute sweet child i love you

 **notadrugdealer** : JASPER YOU HJSDFHJ CANT DO THAT TO ME I LOVE YOU TOO YOU FUCKER 

 

**Conversation between drugdealer Jazzy and MountainSeas!**

 

 **MountainSeas** : Hey Jasper?

 **drugdealer Jazzy** : ??

 **MountainSeas** : You and Monty should be together

 **drugdealer Jazzy** : wait what 

 **MountainSeas** : I see your heart eyes okay don't pretend 

 **drugdealer Jazzy** : i medbghdj i mean,,,

 **MountainSeas** : Go seduce your boy, get fucking MARRIED you got it?? If you ever hurt him I'll stab you in your eye go on 

 **drugdealer Jazzy** : HOW ARE YOU THIS COOL ABOUT BREAKING UP

 **MountainSeas** : Jasper I would pay money to make you two fall in love go get your boy 

 **drugdealer Jazzy** : im gonna fuckign set you up on a date i stg and im gonna make you so happy im fghjd ill marry that boy for you 

 **MountainSeas** : You fucking better

 

 **Finding Nemo** : 

 

 **bells** : GOD THE FOOD SMELLS SO GOOD

 **mechanical dicks** : LUNA LUNA LUNA LUNA IS THAT YOU I HEAR THE DOOR I HEAR THE DOOR 

 **thenurse(tm)** : I SEE HER LET HER IN 

 **i like candles** : GOT IT

 **oceans** : oW LEXA SQUEEZING LUNGS OXYGEN OWNHT YOWZA

 **mechanical dicks** : DO NOT HURT HER

 **water bottle kicker** : i just saw her fucking hair sorry lincoln im leaving you

 **SaveTheTrees** : im leaving you for her hair too sorry o 

 **bells** : luna your hair never fails to impress me

 **mechanical dicks** : back the fuck off she is MINE

 **i also like candles** : LEXA COME BACK

 **i like candles** : sorry DEAREST im here now 

 **oceans** : god what a day so far 

 **notadrugdealer** : jasper!! pie!! come!! back!! now!!

 **drugdealer Jazzy** : omw my sweet summer child 

 **oceans** : MY SWEET SUMMER CHILD

 **mechanical dicks** : me to you because youre also my sweet summer baby 

 **oceans** : im thankful for you raven reyes

 **bells** : o how is the turkey??

 **water bottle kicker** : not 100% sure bc we need to go to the store

 **mechanical dicks** : absolutely on it lets go 

 **oceans** : im coming with 

 **mechanical dicks** : hell yeah les go

 **roadside shit** : clarke move over

 **i also like candles** : no fuck u

 **i like candles** : shit sorry murphy that was me

 **roadside shit** : oh fhjdj whatever im cooking stuffing for my fucking boyfriend gotta make it good

 **bells** : i love you u prick

 **roadside shit** : i can stand you too 

 **SaveTheTrees** : echo roan hows that tree going??

 **Iceass** : spectacular 

 **IceBitch** : halfway through cutting down one (1) tree but roan got the axe stuck and im mocking him

 **Iceass** : HELP ME U FUCKER

 **IceBitch** : youre on your own kid 

 **Iceass** : I AM YOUR KING 

 **IceBitch** : nope 

 **Depends** : JACKSON

 **thenurse(tm)** : NATE

 **Depends** : potatoes?

 **thenurse(tm)** : theyre good 

 **mechanical dicks** : breaking into the local walmart 

 **bells** : NO

 **y ee h a w** : get the turkey 

 **oceans** : raven get your ass back in the car

 **mechanical dicks** : make me loser 

 **mechanical dicks** : NEVER MIND SHES FAST SHES FAST SHES  _FAST_

 **oceans** : im gonna run you the fuck over 

 **water bottle kicker** : luna bring her back alive

 **thenurse(tm)** : even if shes dying i can help

 **i also like candles** : same 

 

**6:49 PM**

 

 **bells** : its absolutely done 

 **Iceass** : i can smell food from here im yelling

 **y ee h a w** : but im a cheerleader is on and we're watching 

 **water bottle kicker** : turkey looks superb 

 **i like candles** : our ham is 100% amazing

 **Depends** : potatoes are god like 

 **notadrugdealer** : we're all good on the pie(s)!!

 **IceBitch** : hauling the tree in now

 **Literal Harp** : ive got the chairs + tables all set out 

 **roadside shit** : stuffing is made and will be serveth 

 **bells** : ur cute fuck

 **roadside shit** : i know 

 **i also like candles** : god this looks good

 **SaveTheTrees** : EVERYONE SAY WHAT THEYRE THANKFUL FOR 

 **i like candles** : im thankful for clarke 

 **i also like candles** : im thankful for lexa

 **bells** : im thankful for my adorable boyfriend and this super good food

 **roadside shit** : 100% thankful for MY boyfriend and murphamy 

 **Depends** : im thankful for jackson and the fact that we got out of the forest alive

 **thenurse(tm)** : im thankful for my nate 

 **y ee h a w** : im thankful for meeting all of you

 **SaveTheTrees** : im thankful for meeting o and bellamy letting me date her

 **water bottle kicker** : thankful for my lincoln and the fact that hes alive

 **notadrugdealer** : im thankful for jasper

 **drugdealer Jazzy** : im super super super thankful for monty and maya

 **MountainSeas** : im thankful for jonty

 **mechanical dicks** : im thankful for my ocean babe

 **oceans** **:** im thankful for raven, and every single one of you

 **Iceass** : im thankful for you guys taking me in

 **IceBitch** : im thankful for you all giving me a second, third, fourth, and fifth chance 

 **Literal Harp** : and im thankful for you all being ridiculous dorks who i would never give up for the world 


	30. (concerned) honey,

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> people get drunk and then there counterparts have to actually deal with them

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> fuck this is late im so sorry  
> AND OH MY GOD WE HIT 108 KUDOS??? im so fuckin proud!! this was a teeny tiny joke fic and its now something super cool  
> thank you guys for all of the support!! <3

**oceans** : im gonnannfnndhhfjskjk?

 **mechanical dicks** : who got luna drunk im gonna kill you

 **roadside shit** : probably octavia

 **water bottle kicker** : what no

 **water bottle kicker** : im vomiting in the bathroom dude and i cant get luna pregnant anywayaggsd

 **SaveTheTrees** : yeah shes drunk if you couldnt tell 

 **bells** : im fuckkngn dyin

 **roadside shit** : god raven can he crash at ur place?? hes drunk as hell

 **i like candles** : clarke is also fucking dying atm im concerned 

 **mechanical dicks** : oh my god how is clarke, the responsible one, drunk

 **mechanical dicks** : does she have a low tolerance 

 **i like candles** : shes a fuckin weakling yes

 **bells** : jdjdh dotnn imsupt grifffen shes tryign 

 **roadside shit** : bellamy stop moving i see you shuffling go the fuck to bed

 **roadside shit** : actually im bringing you water do not open that door you will be flash blinded

 **bells** : muprhy dotn flashhh ravennnn

 **SaveTheTrees** : raven how much water do you have??

 **mechanical dicks** : like 15 massive jugs 

 **mechanical dicks** : wick brought them over once and theyve never left theyre 100% clean tho 

 **i also like candles** : refusing to drink water its for pussies and i am not a pussy

 **roadside shit** : so shes a defiant drunk

 **i like candles** : yeah but she types fine n its stupid 

 **i also like candles** : lexa be quiet dont you fucking insult me im gonna kick you in your ghost balls

 **bells** : clalkre dont me meen 

 **roadside shit** : fuck hes spelling things wrong

 **mechanical dicks** : murphy im on the other side of the house taking care of luna go take care of your boyfriend

 **roadside shit** : good luck reyes

 **mechanical dicks** : good luck to you too

 **SaveTheTrees** : where did the other ones go??

 **drugdealer jazzy** : monty got sick so hes sleeping on my leg out here in the living room

 **drugdealer jazzy** : hes feeling terrible please dont interrupt his sleep 

 **Literal Harp** : miller/jackson are over here w me 

 **Literal Harp** : theyre passed out on the beanbags and cuddling but theyre both drunk af

 **MountainSeas** : Sorry guys I bailed on you

 **drugdealer jazzy** : probably the smart move tbh 

 **Iceass** : echo is sleeping in the spare room

 **Iceass** : im making sure she doesnt get out of this room because shes a semi violent drunk

 **mechanical dicks** : thank you roan 

 **Iceass** : its cool i dont want to die or smth 

 **i also like candles** : lexa back the fuck off of me i want to leave

 **i like candles** : clarke, honey, no offense but you are being dumb as hell

 **i like candles** : sit your ass down

 **i like candles** : drink out of this fucking cup

 **i like candles** : and go to bed

 **i like candles** : if you do not do this, i can force you to

 **i also like candles** : hey guess what?

 **i also like candles** : fuck you lol

 **mechanical dicks** : lexa u good ?

 **i like candles** : no because clarke is being difficult 

 **oceans** : raven come back immiss u

 **mechanical dicks** : okay stop being cute so i can get you water

 **oceans** : hurryyyyy

 **drugdealer jazzy** : lincoln do you need water? monty rolled off of my leg i can get you something for o 

 **SaveTheTrees** : if you could? shes complaining 

 **water bottle kicker** : im vomiting up my organs of course im contemplating 

 **SaveTheTrees** : no thats not

 **SaveTheTrees** : never mind 

 **drugdealer jazzy** : left it at the door 

 **SaveTheTrees** : thank you

 **mechanical dicks** : murphy you good?

 **roadside shit** : hes passed out against my chest and is making my lungs fill with fluid but otherwise yes 

 **mechanical dicks** : bellamy is a sleepy drunk?

 **roadside shit** : idk hes normally a quiet depressed drunk 

 **i also like candles** : lexa go away??? like just. go

 **mechanical dicks** : hey clarke stop being a dick to your girlfriend shes trying to help you

 **i like candles** : its just the alcohol speaking

 **Iceass** : if you hear any thuds its gonna be echo trying to break out of this room

 **Iceass** : on top of being a semi-violent drunk, she is also a very stubborn drunk 

 **mechanical dicks** : lna pssed out in my arms

 **mechanical dicks** : carryin her to my room

 **mechanical dicks** : any1 in there/ 

 **roadside shit** : i dont think so?

  **y ee h a w** : just checked and no ones there

 **y ee h a w** : anyone need water for their drunk counterpart? ive got no one sleeping on me i can be a wateryeehaw

 **roadside shit** : oh my god never call yourself that again

 **mechanical dicks** : lunas sleeping in my room atm 

 **i like candles** : clarke is sleeping in the 2nd guest room

 **roadside shit** : bells in the first guest room 

 **drugdealer jazzy** : my boy is sleeping on the couch

 **Literal Harp** : the doctor and soldier are sleeping out here on the beanbags

 **MountainSeas** : I abandoned you all

 **SaveTheTrees** : just carried o to the car 

 **SaveTheTrees** : sorry guys but i gotta abandon you 

 **SaveTheTrees** : im taking her home

 **mechanical dicks** : lincoln thats fine you do you

 **mechanical dicks** : have a nice night ??

 **SaveTheTrees** : yeah you too try not to die

 **drugdealer jazzy** : oh my god

 **drugdealer jazzy** : [FUCK_HES_SO_GOOD.png]

 **roadside shit** : oh my god monty is so fuckinb???? hes perfrct 

 **mechanical dicks** : monty brings joy in times of hell


	31. the aftermath of (concerned) honey,

**oceans** : no offense but where the hell am i

 **bells** : idk i think we're

 **bells** : still at ravens,

 **i also like candles** : oh my god this hangover ijjdjjg

 **bells** : my head feels like its actually on fire 

 **oceans** : i dont know if i can even lift my head

 **water bottle kicker** : you guys at ravens? i think linc took me home

 **water bottle kicker** : i remember like

 **water bottle kicker** : nothing 

 **notadrugdealer** : oh i 

 **notadrugdealer** : i found them

 **notadrugdealer** : [what_happened.png]

 **bells** : oh my god theyre all

 **bells** : in a tiny pile 

 **oceans** : they look so exhausted???

 **notadrugdealer** : harper is over with nate and jackson on the beanbags? i think i just see a blur??

 **thenurse(tm)** : im up monty my eyelids are just 24/7 down

 **thenurse(tm)** : the pile is the group of people who took care of our drunk asses, minus harper whos over here

 **thenurse(tm)** : i didnt get that drunk but nate passed out on me so i just decided to sleep

 **notadrugdealer** : uh i didnt get drunk??

 **bells** : jasper probably just let you sleep or something

 **i also like candles** : im kinda concerned i dont know where lexa is??

 **i like candles** : getting you water and some advil 

 **i also like candles** : hsdjh thank you so much i love you

 **i also like candles** : im sorry about anything i did last night im a terrible drunk i know lexa im hdhfh

 **i like candles** : hey its cool you mostly just refused to drink water/sleep and i carried your drunk ass to the bed

 **i also like candles** : im so sorry

 **water bottle kicker** : can confirm: im at my house

 **water bottle kicker** : so you guys are probably at ravens still

 **notadrugdealer** : and maya?

 **i like candles** : she left when the drinks first started to go around

 **bells** : gina?

 **i like candles** : not sure actually 

 **IceBitch** : shes in here with roan 

 **IceBitch** : i think i remember roan throwing a water bottle at me and saying "go to sleep or die" but idk 

 **IceBitch** : shes sleeping

 **bells** : god what happened yesterday i feel Fucked Up 

 **water bottle kicker** : reading through some of the old messages n its not good 

 **water bottle kicker** : @i also like candles no offense but you were a bitch

 **i also like candles** : omg i just read some of the messages lexa honey im so so so so sorry 

 **i like candles** : ??? you did like nothing lincoln is a worse drunk than you are sweetheart 

 **i also like candles** : but 

 **i like candles** : no

 **bells** : murphy and raven were working together 

 **bells** : murphy being responsible is cute as fuck and i feel bad now for not remembering it

 **oceans** : oh my god i was drunk texting raven when she was in the same room as me bc i was so tired 

 **oceans** : tired/drunk a lil bit of both but goddddddd

 **i like candles** : and monty, you fell asleep on your boys leg

 **notadrugdealer** : hes not my boy we arent dating

 **i like candles** : monty 

 **notadrugdealer** : 

 **i like candles** : monty

 **notadrugdealer** : 

 **i like candles** : good to know thats decided 

 **bells** : uhh are they still in a pile 

 **i like candles** : [yes_bellamy_they_are_still_indeed_in_a_pile.png]

 **i also like candles** : god they look so

 **bells** : peaceful?

 **oceans** : tired and dead

 **bells** : really poetic luna 

 **oceans** : i try 

 **Literal Harp** : hwatthefuck

 **thenurse(tm)** : shhh go back to bed

 **Literal Harp** : im so gyking confusued???

 **thenurse(tm)** : hey bellamy can you like

 **bells** : yeah im not using it anymore i can take her there

 **Literal Harp** : excuse 

 **bells** : alright lets go

 **thenurse(tm)** : [firefighter_bellamy_to_the_quote_rescue_end_quote.png]

 **IceBitch** : thats a fuckin file name

 **IceBitch** : maybe we should like

 **IceBitch** : idk set up the christmas shit for them 

 **oceans** : uhh yeah about that

 **oceans** : raven is soRta moving in wit h mE?

 **water bottle kicker** : OH THANK GOD I CAN FINALLY MOVE IN WITH LINCOLN FULLY 

 **water bottle kicker** : okay yeah but listen here you break her heart i break your face

 **oceans** : you told me that the first day i met you i stg

 **water bottle kicker** : its my tagline 

 **bells** : no your tagline is screaming 

 **IceBitch** : accurate 

 **water bottle kicker** : echo you have no say in that you kicked me down a cliff once 

 **IceBitch** : *pushed but whatever

 **bells** : i was worried for like. 18 days dude 

 **thenurse(tm)** : do you expect her to apologise 

 **bells** : no but still

 **oceans** : theyre fuckin snoozing oh my god 

 **oceans** : its like

 **oceans** : watching a pile of clinically depressed owls/ravens lay on top of each other 

 **oceans** : its fuckin weird 

 **i like candles** : i can see it 

 **i also like candles** : fuck so can i

 **notadrugdealer** : jasper is too...?? not-owl like

 **notadrugdealer** : hes like a scrawny duck with goggles on the top of its head

 **bells** : i can see that really clearly and that scares me


	32. everyone: violence!! luna: guys wtf no??

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> have i mentioned  
> how much  
> i fucking love  
> SEA MECHANIC????????  
> also i always thought it was funny how luna would hang out with the sky people, mass murderers, and be like "yeah ur cool" even though shes the leader of peace and stuff  
> and the usual: SORRY FOR THIS BEING SUPER LATE MY COMPUTER BROKE AND IM FUCKING DYING ITS SO HARD TO WRITE ON ;;; but i will PROVIDE for you guys because you all seem to love this so BAM here you go c:

**bells** : im staring at them @everyone and theyre...

 **i like candles** : theyre really tired?

 **notadrugdealer** : really dead??

 **i also like candles** : hdfg i dont want to move from my bed but i feel bad 

 **oceans** : dhfjh hows raven??

 **bells** : shes on the top of the pile if it makes u feel better

 **bells** : murphy is kinda close to her

 **bells** : harper n jasper are on the bottom 

 **notadrugdealer** : makes sense i guess

 **oceans** : we need to move them guys

 **oceans** : they took care of us so we should like. get them to a room or something 

 **bells** : i mean

 **i also like candles** : imagine rolling them 

 **IceBitch** : oh jesus christ maybe not 

 **IceBitch** : they would wake up and raven would punch someone in the face

 **oceans** : idk about you but im gonna grab raven n let her sleep in a real bed

 **bells** : i might grab murphy ?? he looks so bad

 **i like candles** : arent u glad u dont have to carry me around clarke 

 **i also like candles** : lexa i would literally burn down a hospital for you to be alive again so i could carry you up stairs 

 **i like candles** : awwwwww 

 **oceans** : okay ill be right back gonna carry raven 

 **bells** : luna no offense but you sure you can carry her??? i know she looks light  but 

 **notadrugdealer** : bell can help you if you need it?? ahjd id help but im,, weak

 **bells** : YOU! ARE! NOT! WEAK! YOU! ARE! BABY! BOY! BUT! YOU! ARE! STRONG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 **notadrugdealer** : sSJFJFGHJ BELLAMY 

 **i also like candles** : SHDFH YES 

 **oceans** : okay im coming but bellamy maybe help me

 **bells** : hjsdfj of course

 **water bottle kicker** : lincoln n i just went to get mcdonalds for everyone but luna we dont?? know what you like?? linc says he does but he wants to make sure

 **oceans** : 100 piece nuggets w/ sweet n sour sauce and ranch 

 **bells** : oh my god

 **water bottle kicker** : fuck he was right and i cant believe that

 **water bottle kicker** : it just went quiet?? whats happened its been dead for like 5 minutes??

 **oceans** : bellamy n i were carrying the pile of demons 

 **notadrugdealer** : hey jasper isnt a demon 

 **MountainSeas** : Monty, Jasper IS a demon. 

 **SaveTheTrees** : accurate 

 **water bottle kicker** : LINCOLN.

 **bells** : ughh ,murphy is so fuckiggnm,fmv heavy 

 **oceans** : raven is pretty light 

 **oceans** : you might just be hungover 

 **bells** : hey you got drunk too 

 **notadrugdealer** : im gonna go hang out with my tired jasper

 **thenurse(tm)** : you mean your boyfriend

 **oceans** : ^ 

 **bells** : anyone else have the strong urge to just burn down the forest 

 **thenurse(tm)** : kinDa??

 **i like candles** : hh yeah

 **water bottle kicker** : god yes

 **notadrugdealer** : i mean kind of 

 **oceans** : guys no 

 **oceans** : no violence 

 **SaveTheTrees** : 1- we're here 2- i agree w luna 

 **SaveTheTrees** : <\---- just look at my name

 **oceans** : exactly 

 **water bottle kicker** : u guys are LAME

 **bells** : murphy would agree with me

 **oceans** : i dont think so

 **thenurse(tm)** : nate would probably do it

 **IceBitch** : i mean im down for burning down a forest

 **i like candles** : thats because youre psychotic, echo

 **i also like candles** : i mean she still would help either way 

 **bells** : accurate 

 **roadside shit** : Hello where am I

 **bells** : MURPHY!!!!!

 **roadside shit** : Why does my phone have autocorrect on

 **bells** : here im comin to you

 **mechanical dicks** : any1 wanna kill me

 **oceans** : RAVEN!!

 **i like candles** : clarke 

 

**Conversation between "i like candles" and "i also like candles"!**

**i like candles** : clarke theyre gay

 **i also like candles** : lexa i know 

 **i like candles** : clarke im 

 **i like candles** : sea mechanic,,,,

 **i also like candles** : lexa i know 

 **i like candles** : my greatest ship,,, coming to life,,,,,, im cryin,,, ghost tears,,,

 **i also like candles** : lexa i know 

 **i like candles** : clarke im in shambles

 **i also like candles** : i know lex,,, i know 

 

**Finding Nemo**

**mechanical dicks** : wai t 

 **SaveTheTrees** : we brought mcdonalds and we're inside so 

 **oceans** : ill go get your food raven you sit your ass down and wait for me

 **mechanical dicks** : u wanna make me

 **oceans** : raven

 **mechanical dicks** : [H_O_L_Y_S_H_I_T_LOOK_AT_HER_SHES_FLEXIN_ON_US.png]

 **oceans** : raven i should let you starve but im not GOING to because im NICE

 **roadside shit** : stop flirting w each other its gross

 **bells** : JONATHAN ALEXANDER MURPHY 

 **roadside shit** : DONTND CALL ME THAT U BTCH

 **bells** : THEN BE NICE

 **Depends** : hi what the fuck is happening 

 **notadrugdealer** : sea mechanic/murphamy 

 **drugdealer Jazzy** : hM???

 **notadrugdealer** : JASPER!!!!!!!!!!!

 **Depends** : and jonty i guess

 **water bottle kicker** : accurate 

 **SaveTheTrees** : also i think clexa i see them in the back

 **SaveTheTrees** : well i mean i see clarke but 

 **i like candles** : yeah im over there hajshf

 **mechanical dicks** : lunaaaaaaaaaa 

 **oceans** : yes raven 

 **mechanical dicks** : can u hurry up im dying

 **oceans** : no youre not 

 **mechanical dicks** : you dont know that :((((((

 **oceans** : oh my god

 **i like candles** : *oh my marcus kane

 **i also like candles** : did you really see the face of kane when you died

 **i like candles** : YES

 **Literal Harp** : i honestly cant believe im waking up to this


	33. its tired im late

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> honestly considering a sea mechanic fic (I ALREADY HAVE 5 WORKS @ME STOP MAKING MORE STOP STOP STOP ST) because i love them so much  
> also im gonna try n update more!! my computer is literally fucking destroyed tho and it pisses me off bc i! want! to! write!  
> anyways heres ur daily/weekly/monthly/yearly update of pclbora! c:  
> (also i hope u like the new kinda style?? in some situations it doesnt make sense for them to be just, texting so i added real interactions!! leave a comment on how you feel about that/if you want it to stay or if you want me to just keep doing what ive been doing and scrap the real interactions <3)

**Conversation between "oceans" and "mechanical dicks"!**

**oceans** : [belllamurt_to_the_rescue.png] 

 **mechanical dicks** : oh my fucking god

 **mechanical dicks** : is he

 **mechanical dicks** : is he fucking feeding his boyfriend chicken nuggets while clarke is on his back

 **oceans** : can you not hear the screaming 

_(Raven can, she hears the screaming of Clarke. "Don't you fucking drop me, you little shit!"_

_"Then get off of my back!"_

_"Alright, that's it, we're watching "Spirit"! It's decided!" Octavia screeches, and Raven can't help but burst out laughing.)_

**mechanical**   **dicks** : yeah i can hear it 

 **mechanical dicks** : did octavia just suggest everyone watches spirit 

 **oceans** : yes she did

 **oceans** : im bringing up your food but like 

 **oceans** : we could watch spirit 

 **mechanical dicks** : hhhh

 

**Finding Nemo**

**bells** : @everyone 

 **bells** : just so you know

 **bells** : murphy and i are getting a divorce 

 **roadside shit** : wait what 

 **roadside shit** : babe you cant leave me im pregnant with bellamurphy jr hes your baby 

 **i like candles** : WHAT YOU DIDNT NAME THE BABY CLEXA???????

 **i also like candles** : fucking disgrace 

 **oceans** : wtf is going on here

 **water bottle kicker** : we ! are ! going ! to ! watch ! spirit ! 

_(Octavia screams violently when Bellamy slowly shoves her burger off of Raven's counter. "How fucking DARE you!" She slams her hand down on the table, before shoving herself off of the chair she's on. She whirls around, grabbing a butcher knife from the knife rack. "Bitch."_

_"Wait wait wait no don't do that-" )_

**oceans** : [the_blakes_are_murderous_i_guess.png] 

 **mechanical dicks** : OKAY WHAT THE FUCK IS HAPPENING IM IN MY ROOM AND IM SO CONFUSED 

 **SaveTheTrees** : OCTAVIA NO PUT THE KNIFE DOWN 

 **water bottle kicker** : NOPE ITS TOO LATE FOR THIS MAN 

 **bells** : O THINK THIS OVER YOU DONT WANT TO DO THIS

 **mechanical dicks** : WHY DO YOU HAVE TTS ON BELLAMY 

 **bells** : SO THE COPS HAVE THIS INFORMATION WHEN I DIE

 **oceans** : smart  bUT DOTN COME TO ME 

 **mechanical dicks** : DO NOT HURT MY LU 

 **notadrugdealer** : dont worry he went the other wAY TOWARDS ME HWHDFJ

 **drugdealer jazzy** : DONT HURT MY BOY???

_(Jasper throws his entire body at Monty, tackling him to the ground as Bellamy leaps over them, Octavia skidding to a stop before the chase continues. "By the way," he hoists the smaller one up into the air, holding him bridal style as he sets Monty back down onto the couch. "Maya broke up with me because I'm in love with you."_

_"Wait, you're what.")_

**y ee h a**   **w** : JONTY CONFIRMED @EVERYONE JONTY CONFIRMED

 **SaveTheTrees** : gina we've known that they were going to get together for like 15 years 

 **notadrugdealer** : shjsjfkna??????? hdfhandsfnbnddfgbnds????? hehhdhss??????????

 **bells** : oh my god what happened 

 **bells** : i mean CAPITAL OH MY GOD WHAT HAPPENED 

 **Literal Harp** : i think im dying what about u fguys 

 **IceBitch** : im dead (no offense lexa)

 **i like candles** : dude its fine 

 **Iceass** : im in the dark rn i know that im at ravens but everything else is unknown

 **IceBitch** : you barricaded the door and threw a water bottle at me while i was drunk and told me to "go to sleep or die"

 **Iceass** : oh its coming back to me now thanks echo 

 **SaveTheTrees** : guys jasper broke monty (IN A GOOD WAY)

 **mechanical dicks** : pictures???

 **oceans** : [jonty.png]

 **mechanical dicks** : aWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW

 **Depends** : its finally happened this is like the longest a ship has taken to sail

 **thenurse(tm)** : incorrect im waiting for sea mechanic 

 **oceans** : hsfhj shut the fuck up doctor man 

 **Depends** : DOCTOR MAN

 **oceans** : I FORGOT HIS NAME SORRY JACKSON I REMEMBERED NOW BUT HSFJK

 **thenurse(tm)** : YES,,,, I AM THE DOCTOR MAN 

_(Miller grins at his boyfriend, giving him a light shove. "Yes, Nurse Jackson. You are indeed a doctor man."_

_"Nate..." Jackson rolls his eyes. "As a nurse, I'm instructing you to shove that burger in your mouth and shut up."  
_

_"Aren't you supposed to be preventing me from eating this unhealthy, Mr. Doctor Man?"_

_"You're literally the most active person I know. I'm sure it'll be fine.")_

**bells** : ALEXA PLAY KEEP AWAKE BY THE 100 MONKEYS 

 **water bottle kicker** : WHY ARE YOU ASKING ALEXA TO DO THAT ILL SING FOR U

 **SaveTheTrees** : please DONT octavia no offense sweetheart (i love you) but you arent (i love you) a great (I LOVE YOU????) singer

 **water bottle kicker** : youre next 

 **SaveTheTrees** : understandable 

 **mechanical dicks** : im so dead luna hasnt returned with my food and im dying in the desert 

 **roadside shit** : i call bullshit i havent seen luna in like 10 minutes 

 **oceans** : bitch

_(Murphy SCREECHES when Luna appears behind him, McDonald's bag in her left hand. "I heard you were talkin' shit and you didn't think that I would hear it-" She grins as he clutches at his stomach, panic dying down._

_"Never. Do. That. Again." He wheezes, shaking his head as Luna snickers behind him.)_

**SaveTheTrees** : raven your girlfriend just scared the shit out of murphy 

 **mechanical dicks** : 1- lu isnt my girlfriend 2- good 3- im so proud of u 4- but id like food,

 **oceans** : hsjfh yep im omw <3 

 **mechanical dicks** : <3 

 **roadside shit** : your girlfriend is a FUCKIGN DEMON 

 **bells** : OCTAVIA NO THATS THE FOREST WE CANT GO BACK THAT WAY HHHHH

 **water bottle kicker** : IM AIMING FOR YOUR SPINE NOT THE FOREST 

 **bells** : HDHFDHSFJKD

 **i like candles** : i think hes dead

 **i like candles** : yeah octavia just tackled him to the ground 

 **i like candles** : oh fuck man 

 **i like candles** : clarke honey come here look at this

 **i also like candles** : oh dear GOD

_(Clarke stares out of the window, watching as Octavia pins her brother to the ground, holding her knife above his throat. "Lexa, go stop her, please? I don't want to clean up his dead body."_

_"WELL THANKS CLARKE THAT'S REALLY FUCKING THOUGHTFUL OF YOU-" She slams the window shut when Bellamy starts to yell. Murphy rolls his eyes from behind her, and opens the door to the outside world._

_"I can't believe this is the man I have chosen to date," he sighs, and Clarke notices the baseball bat in his hands. "Octavia, drop him! Drop it!" Murphy tosses a baseball in the air - Clarke isn't sure where he got that from - and then swings the bat, connecting it to the ball. "Fetch!")_

**i like**   **candles** : oh my god murphy is trying to play fetch with octavia 

 **SaveTheTrees** : it doesnt work trust me 

 **mechanical dicks** : LUNA ! FOOD ! PLEASE !!!!!!!

 **notadrugdealer** : u know that feeling when ur completely in love n ur dying bc ur love is being cute and ur just w them and u cant be bothered anymore n im jsut dsfjsd i mso whipped imdead

 **Literal Harp** : im so happy to see my boy so happy 

 **Depends** : ikr im so proud of them 

 **thenurse(tm)** : theyre so good,,

 **roadside shit** : bellamy blake i just saved your ass and you have not even thanked me 

 **bells** : sorry DEAREST im on the fuckign RUN

 **roadside shit** : SHES DISTRACTED!!!!!

 **i like candles** : bellamy go hug ur boyfriend i have her restrained 

 **i also like candles** : oh my god 

 **i also like candles** : its like watching a bear fight an invisible force 

 **oceans** : boom there

 **mechanical dicks** : DGHJSGHJK YES!!!!!!!!!!!!

_(Luna rolls her eyes when Raven grabs at the McDonald's bag, rather violently. "You act like you're starving."_

_"I might be."_

_"I doubt it, you little demon."_

_"Don't call me that, Lu."_

_"Whatever you say, Raven.")_

**Literal**   **Harp** : hey would any1 have any objections if i maybe 

 **Literal Harp** : asked monroe out????

 **i like candles** : I LOVE THAT WOMAN ASK HER OUT!!!!

 **i also like candles** : I ALSO LOVE THAT WOMAN MARRY HER!!!!

 **bells** : I THRICE LOVE THAT WOMAN HAVE BEAUTIFUL KIDS!!!!

 **mechanical dicks** : ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

 **roadside shit** : GOD MONROE IS SO FUCKING COOL YOU BETTER FUCKING GIVE  HER EVERYTHING 

 **Literal Harp** : jesus where did all of this monroe appreciation come from??? not that im complaining bc i love her but 

 **mechanical dicks** : she kicked finn in the dick for me once so im indebted to her


	34. (distant screaming,, increases slowly)

**Finding Nemo**

**oceans** : okay i get that i wasnt here for a lot of your guys' adventures but 

 **oceans** : finn was the bitch who cheated on my raven right

 **roadside shit** : yeah octavia and i beat the shit out of him

 **i also like candles** : i would have but i was busy making friends with the bird 

 **mechanical dicks** : clarke and i bonded over finn's brutal beat down

 **roadside shit** : BRUTAL BEAT DOWN

 **oceans** : ME

 **notadrugdealer** : i witnessed this it was so violent 

 **drugdealer jazzy** : accurate 

 **MountainSeas** : You guys have been at Raven's for like. Years

 **SaveTheTrees** : octavia n i just came over to drop off some mcdonalds and chill a bit 

 **SaveTheTrees** : but if anyone would lIKE, we kinda need help moving her in?? since like, luna is living with raven now 

 **oceans** : wait im living with her or 

 **mechanical dicks** : @everyone pause your thoughts we'll discuss 

_("So, Luna. What do you want to do?" Raven asks, swallowing an entire chicken nugget that she snagged from Luna. "I can move in with you, or you can move in with me. I've got a pretty big house, I mean.."_

_"The ocean isn't too far from here," Luna points out, shrugging. "A change of scenery could be nice."_

_"It could."_

_"So it's decided, I guess? I'll move in with you, on the condition that I get to steal your car and drive to the ocean every minute."_

_Raven rolls her eyes, reaching over for another nugget. Her hand is swatted by Luna, who scowls at her. "Counter condition," she sticks one finger in the air, smirking. "I want to eat another chicken nugget, and then I'll accept your condition."_

_"Counter-counter condition," Luna crosses her arms, leaning back on the bed. "I want to take you with me, and you can have a chicken nugget, and then you'll accept my condition."_

_"Fuck, I can't argue with that." Raven grins, popping another nugget into her mouth.)_

**mechanical dicks** : its decided luna is moving in w me 

 **roadside shit** : im so proud of you raven you finally have a new sitter

 **oceans** : a new what 

 **mechanical dicks** : A NEW NOTHING 

 

**Conversation between "mechanical dicks" and "roadside shit"!**

**mechanical dicks** : im gonna fucking kill you

 **roadside shit** : do it no balls i await death 

 

**Finding Nemo**

**bells** : murphy is going to die 

 **bells** : we're still outside and i saw shuffling in ravens room

 **oceans** : yeah hes dead

 **i like candles** : hey octavia u done being very violent 

 **SaveTheTrees** : i just heard a feral shriek so thats a no

 **i also like candles** : yeah octavia is really determined 

 **bells** : YEAH IN MURDERING HER FUCKING BROTHER AKA ME

 **roadside shit** : like id ever let u die loser 

 **bells** : yeah but youre gonna die

 **oceans** : ^^

 **Literal Harp** : HEY (SNAP SNAP) LISTEN UP NO DEATHS I WANT MONROE TO BE HERE JUST FOR A BIT 

 **bells** : OH???

 **notadrugdealer** : YES YES YESY ESYDSASJFHJDKJFGHJKFLD MY GIRL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 **mechanical dicks** : stopping my crusade against the cockroach for 2 seconds to welcome monroe into hell 

 **roadside shit** : that just makes monroe even better

 **Literal Harp** : yeah but okay likje innfbsjfhjdhj ???? really nervous right?? ivmfjdf

 **Depends** : you go get your girl!!!! jackson n i believe in you!!!!

 **thenurse(tm)** : we do!!!

 **drugdealer jazzy** : we all do!!!!!

_(Monty buries his face into his boyfriend's, Jasper! Jasper! Jasper!, side, sighing. "It took you a long time, and Harper kind of reminds me of what.."_

_"Of you pinning after me?" Jasper offers, smirking. "I know, Monts. I'm irresistible."_

_"Did Maya really.. did she seriously just...cut it off between you two?" Monty asks, frowning._

_Jasper shrugs, a fond look passing over his face "She's a really good person, Monty. I really hope she finds someone."_

_"She will." Monty smiles.)_

**Literal**   **Harp** : okay okay okay okay imnshshf im ready

 **bells** : you do it!!

 **i also like candles** : everyone shut up

**Literal Harp added monNO!**

**monNO** : well hello where am i 

 **mechanical dicks** : MONROE!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 **Depends** : MONROE!!!!

 **bells** : HELLO!!!!!

 **monNO** : jesus christ hi its still me 

 **notadrugdealer** : MONNY!!!!

 **monNO** : MONTY!!!!!

 **drugdealer jazzy** : GOD I FORGOT HOW CLOSE WE WERE IM NDDFG

 **monNO** : JASPER!!!

 **Literal Harp** : hi monroe!!! <3 

 **monNO** : harper!!!! <3 <3 <3 how are you??

 **Literal Harp** : im good!!! what about you?

 **monNO** : im mcgreat! is this everyone?

 **bells** : everyone: bellamy (me), murphy, raven, clarke, lexa (uhhh), lincoln, octavia (shes preoccupied rn), monty, jasper, luna, jackson, miller, harper, roan, and echo! im pretty sure i got everyone 

 **i like candles** : and gina + maya 

 **y ee h a w** : yes

 **MountainSeas** : And that's all of us, I think?

 **monNO** : oh cool! uh whos luna 

 **mechanical dicks** : [luna_being_adorable.png]

 **monNO** : AWWWW

 **oceans** : raven no

 **monNO** : hi luna??? im monroe its cool to meet you!

 **oceans** : you too!

 

**Conversation between "Literal Harp" and "monNO"!**

**Literal Harp** : hey monroe! i know this might be sudden but would you like to go to like, a coffee shop or smth with me sometime? 

 **monNO** : I THOUGHT YOU WOULD NEVER ASK OH MY GOD YES

 **monNO** : i mean yes

 **Literal Harp** : OH THANK GOD

 **monNO** : fuck coffee its clear that we're both gay and in love lets just date 

 **Literal Harp** : OKAY???

 **monNO** : I MEAN IF THATS WHAT U WANT ???FBHJDSKJ

 **Literal Harp** : IT IS IM JUST ??? SHOCKED 

 **monNO** : sAME

 

**Finding Nemo**

**mechanical dicks** : yeah theyre fucking 

 **oceans** : raven fucking reyes

 **bells** : i stg 

 **roadside shit** : sigh

_(Bellamy stares at the house, shaking his head in disappointment. "I can't believe her."_

_"I can," Murphy scoffs. "It's Raven. What have you ever expected from her other than like, the worst?"_

_"I mean," he sighs. "She's really fucking smart, and a really really good mechanic, buuuuut she's also Raven. Like, put her skills and everything but her personality on another person, and then boom. You have Jesus Christ."_

_"Ah ah ah," Murphy smirks. "I think you mean...Marcus Kane.")_

**Literal Harp** : GUYS GUYS GUYS GUYS

 **monNO** : im gonna let u rave to them about us, Girlfriend Harper 

 **mechanical dicks** : YOU DID IT???? YOU DID IT!!!!!!!!!!

**monNO has left Finding Nemo!**

**Literal Harp** : WE'RE TOGETHER NOW IMASHDJSHFDJSDFHGFJDK SHE SAID SHE'D LEAVE BC SHE DOESNT HAVE A LOT OF TIME TO TALK TO A LOT OF PEOPLE N SHE'D FEEL GUILTY BUTTHSJDFHJSFHJD 

 **Literal Harp** : IM YELLING!!! MONROE!! YES!!!

 **notadrugdealer** : IM SO PROUD OF YOU HARPER YES YES YES!!! YOU DID IT! YES!

 **mechanical dicks** : i say we all get drunk because of this amazing morning 

 **oceans** : raven its like 7 am 

 **mechanical dicks** : your point

 **bells** : maybe that we shouldnt drink at sEVEN IN THE MORNING????

 **roadside shit** : no offense but bellamy i dont want to deal w you getting drunk 

 **bells** : same 

 **i like candles** : okay im gonna let u go now octavia

 **bells** : WHAT NO

 **i like candles** : better get a running start

 **roadside shit** : and here she comes

 **SaveTheTrees** : i can hear her fucking war cry and i didnt teach her any of that 

 **SaveTheTrees** : lexa i think indra is a bad influence on her

 **i like candles** : indra is very violent but octavia is murderous 

 **i also like candles** : oh indra

 **i also like candles** : her and kane are pretty good friends

 **oceans** : [the_blakes_are_murderous_i_guess_v2.png]

 **notadrugdealer** : oh my 

 **drugdealer jazzy** : and the chase is on 

 **roadside shit** : [mcfuck_my_life_man.png]

 **Literal Harp** : oh god

 

**Conversation between "Literal Harp" and "monNO"!**

**Literal Harp** : [mcfuck_my_life_man.png]

 **monNO** : WHAT THE FUCK

 **monNO** : WHERE R U???

 **monNO** : IM SO CONCERNED

 **Literal Harp** : [wait_theyre_running_again.png]

 **monNO** : HARPER??????

 

**Finding Nemo**

**SaveTheTrees** : ocTAVIA LET GO OF BELLAMY

_(Lincoln groans as he watches Octavia tackle Bellamy to the ground. Again. He sees Murphy shaking his head from the sidelines, before he eventually starts to walk over to him. "Anyone want to help me get him away from O?" He asks, and hears Clarke sigh behind him._

_"Yeah. Let's go," she sighs again, reaching for a crowbar by wall. "Raven! Get your scrawny ass down here, we're going hunting."_

_"No," Lincoln corrects. "We're going to prevent a murder."_

_"Too busy! Hanging out with Luna!" Raven yells down from upstairs, and Clarke cracks her knuckles. Lincoln's hand flies out, catching Clarke's._

_"No, Clarke. We're preventing a murder, not committing a murder."_

_"For now." She smiles, and then proceeds to walk out the door. Lincoln follows, not sure how he feels about being friends with the very dangerous blonde.)_

**roadside**   **shit** : [the_crusade_comes.png]

 **oceans** : oh dear god why does clarke have a crowbar 

 **notadrugdealer** : octavia bites 

 **bells** : IM SCREAMING HELP ME HELP ME HELP ME HELP ME

 **drugdealer jazzy** : i can hear him from outside and i kind of want to help him

 **MountainSeas** : I mean, Lincoln's pretty strong. 

 **IceBitch** : azgeda is coming to save your ass, bellamy 

 **Iceass** : we sure are 

 **IceBitch** : i want a fucking raise

 **Iceass** : we sure do

 **y ee h a w** : i think im dying 

 **Depends** : same 

 **y ee h a w** : im p sure my food was poisoned 

 **mechanical dicks** : idk i ate 99% of luna's chicken nuggets so 

 **oceans** : YEAH YOU DID HUH

 **mechanical dicks** : ms rivers i am right here you may speak to me 

 **oceans** : you are terrible 

 **mechanical dicks** : my life goal 

 **y ee h a w** : i can start recording this because its getting interesting 

 **notadrugdealer** : oh my

 **thenurse(tm)** : thank god im a fucking doctor 

_(Octavia has a knife above her brother's heart, internally snickering at how this joke paid off. When she sees Lincoln, though, she kind of panics. Just a bit. And Clarke. With a crowbar. Which is very concerning, She sees Murphy behind them, rolling his eyes as he waits for them to do something. "What are you gonna do, Lincoln? He shoved my burger off of the counter."_

_"Well shit," Clarke announces, crossing her arms. "That's a death sentence."_

_"Clarke!" Lincoln frowns, but Octavia is pretty sure she see's understanding in her boyfriend's eyes. "I- well...I'm sorry, Bellamy."_

_"NO!" Bellamy screams, clawing up with his arms. Octavia sits back down on his chest, twirling the knife as she smirks. "LINCOLN NO PLEASE COME BA-" she covers his mouth with one hand, rolling her eyes._

_"Bell, shut up. I'll let you live, on one condition," when he nods, she grins. "I want you...to make Sea Mechanic happen." Bellamy nods so hard, Octavia is pretty sure he's dying.)_

**water bottle**   **kicker** : bellamy gets to live another day 

 **roadside shit** : oh thank god hes the one who pays the rent


	35. pre-move; the beginning

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> sea mechanic and linctavia attempt to move into their respective houses  
> its not going so well, and its only the beginning of the move  
> (raven doesnt even make it to the car)

**Finding Nemo** : 

 **mechanical dicks** : i would like to announce that i am officially marrying luna's food

 **roadside shit** : just had a heart attack i stopped reading at luna im on the ground 

 **bells** : its true i see him through the window

 **i like candles** : i can also vouch i think he just started choking 

 **oceans** : oh dear god

 **MountainSeas** : I leave for like 5 minutes and someone is already dead again

 **MountainSeas** : Why can't we like. Bake a cake and MAYBE, just MAYBE,,,,

 **MountainSeas** : not die for 2 seconds

 **i also like candles** : HEARSAY 

 **bells** : HOW DARE

 **y ee h a w** : TRAITOR 

 **drugdealer Jazzy** : HHHHDNFHF  NO DEATH???

 **notadrugdealer** : i agree w/ maya tho??

 **i also like candles** : oh alright

 **bells** : fair point 

 **y ee h a w** : i mean yeah 

 **drugdealer Jazzy** : of course my bb

 **MountainSeas** : Oh my god

 **SaveTheTrees** : monty is literally god he could say "lincoln go burn down that orphanage" and tbh id do it with 0 hesitation 

 **water bottle kicker** : what if i asked you huh

 **SaveTheTrees** : i would ask luna to do that peace stuff

 **oceans** : THAT PEACE STUFF OMG

_(Raven launches herself off of the bed, ready to murder Lincoln for insulting Luna's miracle work. She's about halfway down the stairs when she hears Luna, sighing. "Raven fucking Reyes, get your gay ass back up here, right now." Raven, reluctantly, turns away from the stairs, slinking back up them._

_"Yes, Luna..." she frowns, flashing her best puppy dog eyes at the fluffy haired woman. "He insulted your honour! I was gonna get it back."_

_"While it's sweet that you would commit murder for me," Luna begins, smiling. "I don't want you to be arrested."_

_"But-"_

_"Sit dowwwnn, oh my god. Come on, the bed is soft."_

_Raven shrugs, hiding a smile as she belly flops down onto the bed, sending half of the food soaring in the air. And onto the ground.)_

**oceans** : oh my fucking god

 **oceans** : [RAVEN_FUCKING_DEMONSPAWN_REYES_LOOK_WHAT_YOUVE_DONE.png]

 **Literal Harp** : oh fuck

 **bells** : thats so fucking domestic 

 **water bottle kicker** : YES

 **roadside shit** : im in love with sea mechanic 

 **roadside shit** : correction: im in love with the sea mechanic SHIP not the people 

 **mechanical dicks** : SAY U LOVE LUNA RIGHT NOW OR YOUR DICK IS NO MORE

 **roadside shit** : I PLATONICALLY LOVE LUNA

 **mechanical dicks** : damn fucking right u do

 **y ee h a w** : honestly raven just marry luna already every1 knows you guys are super in love 

 **mechanical dicks** : yes i love luna but 

 **notadrugdealer** : boom sea mechanic 

 **mechanical dicks** : I WANT PROOF?? 

 **i like candles** : clarke

 **i also like candles** : [literally_fifty_screenshots_of_just_sea_mechanic_because_clexa_is_gay_and_keeps_track_of_all_the_gay_ships.png]

 **i also like candles** : oh yeah and [raven_literally_saying_she_loves_luna.png]

 **mechanical dicks** : proves nothing

 **oceans** : ^

 **Literal Harp** : stop denying it monroe thinks you two have been married for like 7 years

 **bells** : wait seriously 

 **IceBitch** : oh god

 **Iceass** : ^^^^^

 **Literal Harp** : YES SHE DOES

 **Depends** : monroe is so amazing we cant break her heart

 **thenurse(tm)** : raven im pretty sure abby ships you guys and she doesnt even speak to luna like ever

 **mechanical dicks** : okay so

 **i also like candles** : raven omg stop denying this 

 **roadside shit** : to be fair it took us like 7 years to say anything 

 **thenurse(tm)** : i cant wait that long

 **bells** : yeah me neither

 **water bottle kicker** : raven we joked about octaven but honestly i would die for sea mechanic like i love you two and its literally in my heart and soul and in my war cry that you two WILL be together not even joking i love sea mechanic with all of my being literally i would kill lincoln to make it happen

 **SaveTheTrees** : i would let her kill me tbh im not gonna stop her

 **notadrugdealer** : i mean im not going to murder someone but guys come on dont be like jasper n i it took us forever ;;

 **drugdealer Jazzy** : my bb its okay dont cry u have that look

_(Monty rolls his eyes, stretching out on the couch as he sends the message. "I'm not gonna cry, Jasper, I just..." he sighs. "They're pinning so hard, and I'm getting flashbacks."_

_"Oh?" Jasper smirks. "Of..?"_

_"Me pinning after your gay ass, what else."_

_"I was making it so obvious, too!" He laughs. "Literally, Monty, I cannot believe you, my sweet summer child."_

_"Well! You were dating Maya, and I didn't want to break that up, so..."_

_"Well," Jasper states, plopping himself down on Monty's legs. "Here we are. Gayin' it up."_

_"Jesus Christ." Monty whispers, shaking his head.)_

**mechanical**   **dicks** : we can discuss this later luna needs to move in

 **SaveTheTrees** : fuck so does o 

 **bells** : lets split into move teams

 **bells** : clexa, echo, soldier doctor, linctavia, and harper, you all move linctavia in 

 **bells** : murphamy, gina, jonty, sea mechanic, and roan, we're gonna move sea mechanic in 

 **bells** : good plan? LETS GO

 **i like candles** : wow hes so inspiring 

 **i also like candles** : he was worse when he was seven

 **i also like candles** : "CAUSE WE R ON THE GROUND NOW! SO THAT MAKES US...GROUNDERS!"

 **i like candles** : and you wonder why the kids from my neighbourhood would beat u guys up 

 **notadrugdealer** : no we knew

 **SaveTheTrees** : bell i think we should switch. most of octavias stuff is there, we just need like. three chairs from ravens n like 1 table or something 

 **bells** : alright fine whatever

 **roadside shit** : god hes sulking now

 **y ee h a w** : bellamys always sulking hes 24/7 sulker boy 

 **roadside shit** : SULKER BOY

 **mechanical dicks** : fucking  same 

 **mechanical dicks** : alright @everyone whos moving luna in w me 

 **mechanical dicks** : get ur own cars im taking lunas 

 **oceans** : im driving 

 **mechanical dicks** : :((((((

 **oceans** : ineffective 

 **i like candles** : dear god clarke im hhsdjfhgjsdhfjdfhgj???????????

 **bells** : lexa u good

 **i also like candles** : she said god instead of marcus kane somethings wrong 

 **i like candles** : IDNNSFDHJ???? IKMSDMFDMMDMDMDDMSBJSHGJDKFHG???????????

 **roadside shit** : ?????????? LEXA HONEY U GOOD???

 **notadrugdealer** : ???LEX??

 **i like candles** : yes

 **SaveTheTrees** : FUCKING HELL THAT SCARED THE SHIT OUT OF ME LEXA DONT DO THAT 

 **water bottle kicker** : GOD I JUST HAD A HEART ATTACK 

_(Lexa, although she does kind of feel slightly bad for scaring her friends, grins to herself. "They were holding hands, it was super cute," she states, but her grin falters. "Oh yeah, I can't...yeah. Nice." She mutters, drifting towards Clarke, phone in hand. She sits down next to her girlfriend, sighing._

_"You over here, Lex?"_

_"Sure am," Lexa smiles. She waves her phone, and Clarke smiles. "I wish I could talk to you."_

_"You ready to go and move Sea Mechanic in?" The blonde grins, rising from the stool by the table. "I sure am."_

_With another wave of her phone, Lexa slowly drifts off of the stool. "I love you."_

_"Let's get going, then!")_

**Conversation between "i like candles" and "i also like candles"!**

**i like candles** : clarke id just like to say that i love you a lot and im just?? its hard

 **i also like candles** : im so sorry lex i love you too

 **i like candles** : can you maybe say it aloud??? ;;

 **i also like candles** : of course lex!! always <3 

 **i like candles** : <3 

_("I love you too," Clarke whirls around, facing the floating phone. "I fucking love you," she points at where she hopes is Lexa. "I love you so much, Lexa."_

_She swears she hears a "thank you".)_

**Finding**   **Nemo**

 **Literal Harp** : oh my fucking god

 **Depends** : ???

 **notadrugdealer** : raven just fell out of her car and lunas laughing so hard but shes tryin to get raven back in the car and its not working because ravens just 

 **notadrugdealer** : [i_cant_even.png]

 **drugdealer Jazzy** : [i_can_even.png]

 **i like candles** : IS LUNA FUCKING TRYING TO PULL HER UP IM IN PHYSICAL PAIN

 **thenurse(tm)** : IM SCREAMING IRDFHJSHFGJ

 **oceans** : SHIT UP IM DYING

 **roadside shit** : shIT UP 

 **mechanical dicks** : STOP MAKING FUN OF HER 

 **bells** : OH NYJSHDKJFH SHE JUST DROPPED RAVEN AND RAVEN JUST BURST OUT LAUGHING IM DJDNG

 **roadside shit** : [DEAD_IM_DEAD_I_AM_D_E_A_D.png]

 **roadside shit** : LOOK AT THEM THSHFJDJH

 **water bottle kicker** : honestly im on the ground right by the door and im just watchin i cant move 

 **SaveTheTrees** : im on the opposite side of you and i feel like im in heaven 


	36. attempting the move + everyone being gay and cute

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> sea mechanic honestly is so fucking pure

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello! sorry for not updating, ive been having spine/back problems???? so ive been pretty much deceased for about a week or so but! i am back and gonna try to post more! c:
> 
> sorry this is so short! i thought it was cute and wanted to upload it, so i hope you enjoy!!

**Finding Nemo**

**mechanical dicks** : I CANT FUKINCS BREAHT E

 **drugdealer Jazzy** : IM IN PAIN IM WATCHING THIS HAPPENNSDFJSFI  CANT 

 **notadrugdealer** : SAME JASPER IM DIYNG 

 **water bottle kicker** : [HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.png]

 **SaveTheTrees** : IM IN ANDDHAHHIWHFGHJSDH WHY IS THIS A THING WHY IS THIS SO CUTE IM SO DEAD OCTAVIA THEY WIN THEY WINM THEYRE THE CUTEST COUPLE IN THE WORLD LOOK AT LUNA SHES SO HAPPY IM DIYJHNFB

 

**Conversation between "i like candles" and "SaveTheTrees"!**

**i like candles** : lincoln luna is our cousin and im in love with sea mechanic i cant 

 **SaveTheTrees** : LEXA I JUST REALISED SOMETHING

 **i like candles** : ?????????????????????

 **SaveTheTrees** : YOURE A GHOST 

 **i like candles** : wow detective woods over here 

 **SaveTheTrees:** NO NO NO I MEAN

 **SaveTheTrees** : LIKE 

 **SaveTheTrees** : YOU CAN PUSH THEM TOGETHER???

 **SaveTheTrees** : USE YOUR GHOST POWERS

 **i like candles** : oh

 **i like candles** : my 

 **i like candles** : god

 **i like candles** : yes

 

**Finding Nemo**

**bells** : murphy i cant breathe im dying mmdn

 **roadside shit** : i feel like i shouldnt be watching this tbh i feel like im intruding 

 **Literal Harp** : ive never seen them this happy 

 **Iceass** : im sobbing tbh

 **IceBitch** : i dont cry but im smiling and thats so good 

 **bells** : the goal of this was to get murphamy to happen and its happened and yknow what now its 

**bells has changed "Finding Nemo" to "Finding Sea Mechanic"!**

**roadside shit** : OML 

 **i also like candles** : SCREAMING OH MY GOD YES

 **water bottle kicker** : HJSKJHGJKD 

_(Octavia stares ahead from where she's laying, grinning. "I'm so in love with them, Linc."_

_"I know," he sighs, placing his head on his hand. "Luna and I are cousins. I've never seen her this excited or happy before. Ever," Lincoln looks over to Octavia, smiling. "They fit so well together. The fiery bird, finally finding peace with the moon."_

_"That's so fucking sappy, I love it," Octavia slowly rises from the ground, brushing off grass and dirt from her jeans. "I can't believe I'm dating a poet. Who also loves Sea Mechanic. It's all I've ever needed."_

_"And I'm dating a tiny warrior," he grins, standing up as well. Lincoln rushes over to Octavia, tossing her up in the air before catching her in his arms. "Butterfly."_

_"Scared the shit out of me," she huffs, but allows herself to be carried, bridal style, towards their car. "I love you, bear."_

_Lincoln sighs, smiling contently. "And I you, butterfly.")_

**bells** : im

 **notadrugdealer** : in heaven cause thats where i am

 **drugdealer Jazzy** : yea cuz ur an angel 

 **notadrugdealer** : AHFJHAJDHF

 **i also like candles** : MONTY JUST DROPPED HIS PHONE AND SCREAMED INTO HIS HANDS IM HAJSDHFGDHJHFGVHJSI IM SOBBING 

 **drugdealer Jazzy** : WAIT MY BOY IM COMIN TO U DONT SCREAM

 **bells** : MURPHY HAJSHGFKSJHDF ??????????

 **SaveTheTrees** : MURPHY JUST BEAR TACKLED BELLAMY TO THE GROUND AND IS LITERALLY TICKLING HIM I STG IM NOT EVEN JOKING 

 **i like candles** : since all the ships r bein cute 

 **i also like candles** : HSIDUFSIDHF LEXA JUST PICKED ME UP I CAN LITERALLY FEEL HER UNDER ME IM SCREAMIN IM SCREAMING I AM SCREAMING IADHFJDKFHGJ IM FLOATING????? AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

 **water bottle kicker** : IM FUCKING DECEASED IM AJKAJSDK

 **water bottle kicker** : DHSJHGJDG LINCOLN JUST SHDSIKJDHF AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

 **i like candles** : CLARKE LETS FLY 

 **i also like candles** : LEXA KLERXAHBCKASHF I CANT FLY WHAT 

 **i like candles** : HONEY IM A GHOST & ID NEVER DROP YOU I PROMISE <3333

 **oceans** : RAVEN NO HSJDFHDSKJFHG I CANT CATCH U NO DONTY 

 **bells** : SHRIEKING [FUCK_ME_FUCK_ME_FUCK_ME_FUCK_ME_IM_DEAD_THEYRE_SO_FUCKING_GOOD_FUCK.png]

 **notadrugdealer** : GHSGFJDFHG

 _(Luna can't stop laughing as Raven scrambles towards her truck, attempting to get her. Turns out, there's a lovely puddle of mud by the car door, and Raven isn't known for her balance. So, she's there, in the fucking mud, howling because she can't hold onto Luna's arm. "Raven- I can't- I can't_ breathe _, Raven!" Luna wheezes, her face slowly aching from grinning so much._

_"I can't- fuck- fuck- FUCK!- I can't-" Raven gasps, clawing her way towards the truck as she flails violently in the puddle. "Luna- Luna- help- please-"_

_"I'm trying!" Luna shouts, grabbing onto the other's arm in a weak attempt to drag her into the truck. "Oh my god, you aren't making this- fuck- Raven!" Luna bursts out laughing again as Raven slips, falling back down into the mud. "No! Simba!")_

**notadrugdealer** : NO SIMBA IM HAUCHDSJFGH

 **drugdealer Jazzy** : IM HAVING A FUCKING STROKE I CANT BE ASKED

 **bells** : IM DYING


End file.
